
WorkingMummy
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Everything posted by WorkingMummy
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More Than the Blues - All About Eve
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Road to Nowhere - Talking Heads
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There's a place on Melbourne Grove, the station end. Forget name. On the left just before last bend as you walk towards the station/garden centre. They do my toddler. But they cut her hair. For ?10. Bit steep for a fringe? I have also taken a toddler, napping in her buggy, with me to my appointment before and at the end put her on my lap, smiled and said, would you just clip that fringe?
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There's a place on Melbourne Grove, the station end. Forget name. On the left just before last bend as you drive towards the station/garden centre. They do my toddler. I have also taken a toddler, napping in her buggy, with me to my appointment before and at the end put her on my lap, smiled and said, would you just clip that fringe?
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What is going rate for a mother's help?
WorkingMummy replied to cheetahz's topic in The Family Room Discussion
I see what you mean. My apologies, SW. No. I have only very recently had an au pair, for the first time. My friends who have had an pairs specifically took them on to help out when their no 3 came along. I took an au pair on to help out with my third baby on their recommendations. But also as a result of my conversations with them I recruited an au pair+ and did not go for the agency supplied school leaver. And like I keep saying, it was not ordinarily, never for very long and never at first, a sole charge situation. Which is also true of the OP. -
Wild Horses - Rolling Stones
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Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds - The Beatles
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That BBC link is slightly disturbing. The work sounds very important and I hope they manage to get as much funding as they need to intervene as early as possible wherever that is necessary, but what has happened to the poor child's childhood when someone aged 8 needs help with their inappropriate sexual behaviour? Another measure I would like to see would be more relaxed, realistic support towards appropriate adolescent sexuality. I am not talking about lowering the legal age of consent so that adults can have sexual relationships with children under the age of 16 (as the link contained in the OP apparently fears). I once read a really interesting Simon Kuper article in the weekend FT about his childhood in Holland, and how there, teenage sexuality is accepted as entirely normal, and healthy, and accepted "in house" by all parents. So teenagers who in this country would be humping behind bike sheds or whatever, over there have sleepovers under the safety of their parents' roof. He argued persuasivley that this leads, all round, to a much healthier attitude towards sex and sexual partners (and, as a secondary benefit, a much lower teenage pregnancy rate). My feeling is that adult society in this country is so hung up/f'd up about sex itself that we are not as well placed as - apparently - the Dutch to give this sort of liberal guidance and support to our teenage children. I hope that this will change and I would certainly like to immitate a Dutch parent when my own children are teenagers.
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I was born on the Isle of Wight. My parents moved there from London to run a guest house about a decade before I was born and stayed there until I was about three. We returned for holidays frequently throughout my childhood and I have been there twice with my own family. Basically, what m100 said. Especially about the car. You could rely on taxis to get you places, but you'd have to lug a car seat down there so better off driving yourself if you can. If you are fit, a bike ride across the Island is good. From atop of the downs in the middle of the Island, you get great views of the coast. But it is hilly so not for the novice cyclist. There are coastal walks that are very pretty. Having said all that, do be prepared for a slightly 1950's holiday camp feel about some places. And be prepared for the odd bungalow and caravan park landscape. Last time we went, we stayed at a very nice hotel with a gourmet restaurant but now that our eldest is 4 and into doing lots of stuff herself, I would consider a family hotel with some facilities for kiddies on site. Such as maybe: http://www.child-friendly-hotel.com/index.htm?gclid=CI7Ro4Sa5LUCFUvHtAodWGIAoA
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Don't You Worry Child - Swedish House Mafia
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What is going rate for a mother's help?
WorkingMummy replied to cheetahz's topic in The Family Room Discussion
PS: on the odd occasion she had sole care, I paid her, pro rata, more per hour than when I was home. -
What is going rate for a mother's help?
WorkingMummy replied to cheetahz's topic in The Family Room Discussion
The "see no evil hear no evil" comment is unfair and does not acurately reflect either my domestic arrangements or the state of my relationship with my closest family and friends. No "see no evil hear no evil" is going on around me and my child care situation. No "evil" is going on full stop. "Au pair" covers many different people. Many of them are very young and very green. I would not leave a young person straight out of school, whom I had only just met, who had never lived away from home before, let alone in London before, alone with ANY of my children, regardless of their age. And the fact that the young person concerend WAS insured by X,Y,Z agency to look after (say) my 4 year old would not persuade me TO do that. As I said, my "au pair" did not fit into that category at all. She was a professional, experienced, highly competent person who came from an enormous extended family with lots of experience with bottles and nappies, who proved exceptionally capable of looking after my baby. Unlike girls introduced via most agencies, my au pair was in London living independently when I recruited her, so I (and my mother, as it happens) met her twice before taking her on. She started off working along side me, and did so for many months at first. I got to know her very well. I am not stupid nor reckless when it comes to my children and I really do not think there is any agency or insurance company in the world who would be a better judge than me of whether it was safe to leave my baby with her, for the first time about a month after she moved in with us, for a couple of hours at a time between feeds, and later, for slightly longer periods when it was necessary for me to leave the house. Of course, the agencies and insurance companies have to have crude, one size fits all policies to cater even for the most nervous and inexperienced school leavers, who potentially do not even have the language skills/confidence to buy bread independently, let alone to say something like, "WorkingMummy, I am unclear about how to settle baby to sleep, can you please help me?" But if you are lucky enough to find a gem of a recruit from the opposite end of the scale of competence and experience (and their are LOADS of such recruits out there, because of the financial crisis), why would you not trust the person, just because of what faceless people who do not know you, your baby, or the young woman concerned say about all au pairs in general? Golly, really, no evil is allowed near my baby by me. And, for the record, I also have one or two professional friends, self employed like me, who have engaged incredibly expensive, mature, specialist maternity nurses to tide them over during the period when I had help from the wonderful Spanish womon I recruited and - I have to say - I really prefer my way of doing it. The last thing I want is someone else stepping in as 24 hour "expert" carer for my baby. Others of course feel differently and know what is right for them, but the arrangement I have described was what was best for me and my LOs. And all who know me - with both eyes open - would agree. My baby is now old enough to be out and about with the nanny and my two older children and so I shall not be recruiting a new au pair now that my Spanish find has gone home. I do miss her though! -
Can you follow Otta's advice re starting out talking about what she means to you, then go on to say what (from what you have witnessed) he means to her. Maybe talk about the moment YOU first realised that this was it for HER, and what that meant to you. Hardly anyone does this in wedding speeches. I saw it done once and it was very powerful and moving, especially as the person was quite matter of fact about it. She kept it very real. And keep it short. Help-Ma-Boab is completely right that this is a wise move.
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As a Child - Suzanne Vega
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A Case of You - Joni Mitchell
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Blue Moon - Ella Fitzgerald
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Lily the Pink - The Scaffold
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What is going rate for a mother's help?
WorkingMummy replied to cheetahz's topic in The Family Room Discussion
... is nowhere near as high as in Spain. Yet. I'm pretty sure there is no law against leaving your 2 month old baby with an au pair. I've always done my child care by the book. Each of my employees has registered for NI, I have paid her PAYE in full (although there is none for an au pair on ?100 or less per week). I have all the right employer's liability insurance and I am myself a full time lawyer. I know of no such law. I also know several families who have swapped from working mother of two children with a nanny, to stay-at-home mother of three plus an au pair to help out with newborn for first 6-12 months. No one has mentioned this issue. After my third, of necessity (I'm the main bread winner but also self employed and have no maternity pay) I returned to work very quickly, and my au pair looked after my baby for five hours a day (Monday-Friday only) to enable me to do this (while my 4 and 2 year olds continued with their busy programme with their nanny). As the OP envisaged, my mothers help/au pair brought the baby to me every few hours for a feed and was mostly in the house at first, so I could keep an eye on things. She was far from isolated or alone, and it really was a perfect set up for all. My baby boy, lucky thing, was cuddled and strolled by her, and sung to in Galithian. Like I said, what's important is that you don't try to hire an pair and then ask her to do a nanny's hours. But one day a week from 8:30 - 15:30 with another adult in the house (albeit working) plus light duties on other days alongside the mother is not a nanny position. You can also run into difficulties if you hire a very young girl who has never lived away from home before (whatever the age of your kids). But the sad fact is that with the job market in Europe how it is, you have a very wide choice of au pair at present and do not need to hire school-leavers. -
(Your love keeps lifting me) Higher and Higher - Jackie Wilson
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What is going rate for a mother's help?
WorkingMummy replied to cheetahz's topic in The Family Room Discussion
My 26 year old au pair (an out of work Spanish journalist from a massive family with loads of experience with tiny ones) helped me with my newborn from when he was a day old until last Thursday, (when he was about 8 months old). She was amazing and I was very sad to lose her last week. She was particularly good at settling my baby: so patient and calm. I generally work from home, and when I can't, I have a nanny. So the au pair was never alone at first. But by the end of her time with me, she had shown herself so capable that she subbed-in for my nanny, caring for all three of my children, on the odd occasion. Once when I had norovirus, she handled supper, bath and bed for all three with ease. There are loads of very well qualified women from Spain being driven here by 50% unemployment rates back home. I'd also say, in many ways, a newborn is easier to deal with than 2+ year old. Far fewer health and safety issues and no behavioural challenges tantrums etc. So I really don't see why you can't have an au pair to help out with a 2 month old. I think problems arise when people recruit au pairs and then expect them to work nanny hours/conditions. If you want a full time, sole-carer for you child/children, you need to stonk up a good annual salary with benefits and recruit someone with a proven track record. But if what you want is - genuinely - under 25 hours a week and you or another adult will be around in the background (so you do not run the risk of your au pair going do dally, alone in a foreign country with a screaming baby for 50-60 hours a week) then an au pair is perfect (and affordable). -
Planet - The Sugarcubes
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Nobody Loves Me But You - Dori Hartley
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Your Cheating Heart - Hank Williams
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Another top winter warmer: 4 red onions, cut into 8 pieces each. Into a pan with a little oil and butter, touch of salt, lid partly on, medium heat, until onions are soft and starting to colour. Then strip in a couple sprigs fresh thyme, stir. Tip onions into round oven proof pie dish. Grate 50g strong hard cheese on top. In separate bowl, mix 250g plain flour, tsp baking powder, 100g grated strong cheese, tsp salt, and combine with the following liquid mix: 1 egg, 100ml milk, tsp English mustard, 40g melted butter. Knead lightly into dough. Flatten with hands into disk to fit pie dish. Put dough disk on top of onion/cheese. Into oven 200 for 15 minutes, then turn oven down to 180 for further 10 minutes. Take out of oven and invert pie onto a serving dish. Serve with watercress dressed in a little olive oil and balsamic. Yum.
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Sunrise - Afterlife
East Dulwich Forum
Established in 2006, we are an online community discussion forum for people who live, work in and visit SE22.