redjam

My older daughter is at Kingsdale and we are very happy with it but we have just put Sydenham Girls as our first choice for our second daughter! (Not sure she'll get in as I think we're too far but it's no. 1 on our list.) Our older daughter has a music scholarship at Kingsdale and it's been great - as well as her normal music lesson, she has a one-to-one lesson each week on her instrument, plus she's part of a weekly ensemble group, plus she has free lunchtime music theory lessons, plus they're allowed to go into the music rooms during breaks and rehearse/mess around on the instruments - really impressive provision. She also has a maths scholarship which is an extra after-school lesson each week - sounds deadly to me (extra maths!) but they make it fun and she's gained a lot from it. She's quite an outgoing child and she loves the busyness of the school and isn't phased by the size of it. Our younger daughter, however, is really into science and computer programming so Sydenham Girls seemed an obvious 'fit', plus I think she'd benefit from a slightly less overwhelming environment. From what I can see, Sydenham also has an excellent music provision though perhaps not as outstanding as the full scholarship at Kingsdale. But I was really impressed with Sydenham when I went round this year and I've got friends whose kids are happy and doing well there. So in the end I think both choices are great and you probably need to look at factors such as distance of the journey to school, whether or not your daughter would be happy in an all-girls' environment, how she feels about the size of the school etc. Ultimately I'd let your daughter choose if you can't decide! They're both great options. Good luck...

Banana bikes in Dulwich Park?

We've had no Virgin broadband or phone since Thursday afternoon (just off North Cross Road). Just completely dead. We have now finally bitten the bullet and are in the process of signing up to BT, though it'll take a month to switch. Anyone else having problems at the moment? They've been saying since Friday that it'll be fixed on Monday 'by 3.30pm', which seems very precise! Don't believe it for a minute.

Oh and yes, you go on the waiting list for all the schools 'above' your allocated school if you don't get your first choice.

Yes to pretty much all these questions. No matter where you put the school on your list (i.e. 1st, 2nd, 3rd, whatever) a school will see whether you fit the entrance criteria, be it distance/lottery/banding test/whatever, then offer places accordingly. In other words, Kingsdale will enter into the lottery any applicant who has put its name on the form, no matter which order. There's no preference given to anyone who puts it first. (Though in Kingsdale's case there is a preference given to anyone who's got a sport or music scholarship, but that's a separate issue.) Where the order of choice is relevant is after the schools have given their initial list of kids to whom they are offering places to the council. The council then correlates those lists with your choices, so if e.g. your child has gained a place in your 2nd-, 4th- and 5th-choice schools, it will offer you the 2nd-choice school and automatically place you on a waiting list for the first choice. So there is a great deal of shakedown before you even get to find out what your first offer is (as obviously your 4th and 5th-choice schools will have freed-up places to fill) and there will also be a lot of shakedown after the offer date (as some kids take up private school places etc). I always think it's quite an ingenious system, though quite hard to get your head round at first. Good luck with your choices!

Yes I've noticed that one on Landcroft and thought how awful it looked (I was assuming that was the one referred to in the OP - the one Gloves mentioned is an interesting bit of architecture). The one on Landcroft is just truly depressing - flat, featureless and with the cheapest-looking windows. I gasped when I saw that link - it's for sale at ?1.2 million!

I always wonder with bunk beds - isn't it really difficult to change the sheets? And where would you put a glass of water/book/alarm clock if you can't have a bedside table? And isn't it more awkward to sit next to your child on the top bunk for bedtime stories or a kiss goodnight? I've wondered about getting one of those raised beds in the past to create more space in my daughter's room but those things always put me off. I'd be interested to know whether other people find any of this to be the case.

Are they from out of town so you want to show them the 'sights'? If so, the South Bank is always a good bet for a wander - the water feature is fun for the little ones to splash about in (bring towels and swimsuit) and the older kids might enjoy surreptitiously watching the skateboarders in the skatepark area and watching some of the street performers (we've seen some really good hip-hop dancers there). If it's just a case of entertaining a wide age-range of kids for the day, how about taking them swimming (somewhere with slides/inflatables), or to Jump Giants in Wandsworth or ice-skating at Streatham? Or Westfields in W12 has Kidzania for the little ones, and the older ones can go off for a wander round the shops or to hang out in one of the cafes. Good luck!

I heard that the old Glamorous Nails is just relocating a few doors up, so there won't be two nail bars.

I'm very happy to recommend Jo who lives just off Bellenden Road and has done a few bits and pieces for me over the last couple of years. She's lovely and charges v reasonable prices. I found her through the forum and have cut and pasted her original post below: Hi everyone, I live locally and just wanted to offer my services as a seamstress and alterations to clothes and soft furnishings. I have 7 years of training and have over 30 years of sewing under my belt. So if you need cushions crafting, a dress darned or trousers turned up, I'm your woman! Please contact me if you'd like a quote. Email: [email protected] Call or text: 07950835501

Good luck in your new venture, Adam, it sounds great and I'll definitely be trying it out when you open.

Six out of sixty from Heber went last year (more were offered places but went to the new Charter instead). So no, not at all impossible. Well done everyone at Kingsdale for the brilliant Ofsted result.

Really annoying.

No policy at our school - I normally just ask my daughter to try to hand them out as subtly as possible when they go in. I don't think her definition of 'subtle' is quite the same as mine though... Mind you, she's also been on the (non)receiving end when other kids have been handed out invites in front of her and she's not had one, and she didn't seem unduly bothered by it. I guess they just learn quite quickly that they can't be invited to everything: no big deal.

So OP, I'm not clear from your posts - are you actively looking for a popular name or trying to avoid having one for your baby? Just curious!

Blimey, you lot are miserable. I love the smell of wood smoke and barbecues on summer evenings; they smell of summer to me. It's not like it happens all the time - it's a seasonal thing. Does no one else love sitting round a real campfire with a group of friends when camping or having a family barbecue on a Sunday night? And yes, yes, I get the environmental concern but I already feel guilty about so many things (and generally try to live a good, eco life) that this one seems a bridge too far. It's burning wood, for god's sake! Humans have been doing it for millennia!

Hi Pugwash - well, it's subjective of course and perhaps a bit of a harsh criticism - just a general impression that it needs a lick of paint and that the loos could be a bit more pleasant. Not suggesting it's dirty or unsafe in any way.

I've used it in the past for my kids though they are too old for it now (I think the 'peak' age for it is around 6-9, though they do take younger and older children). I thought it was good - very reasonable value, lots of activities (craft and sporty), trips to the playground/park, cinema, bowling etc, or into town (I remember they did a cruise up the Thames one summer). The people who run it are nice and my kids got quite attached to a couple of them. It's less full-on supervised than Nimble Arts - there seems to be a fair bit of free time where they can play board games, pool etc or play football outside, or even curl up in the book corner if they wish. So for us it suited us more when my kids went with other friends so they had other people to hang out with in the free-time bits (rather than just with each other all the time, though of course they did make other friends as the day would wear on). It's quite a long day, which was a godsend for me when I was working, but in retrospect it was a bit much for them and I probably should have picked them up a bit earlier. My only criticism of it is that I don't think the older and younger kids were kept very separate, so the first times we did it my youngest child found it quite intimidating with so many older children running around. Plus the Darrell Road Community Centre is a bit grotty, though that's not their fault. But other than that it's a good and well-run club and I would recommend.

Haven't seen Wicked so can't comment on that but Matilda is great and not scary - but at 2 hours 40 mins I think it's a bit long for a 4-year-old, even a very patient one. Also I reckon a fair bit of the humour and plot would be over the head of a very little child. Personally I'd wait a couple of years as they'll get a lot more out of it when they're older and they'll remember it more too. I think my youngest was six when we went and I'd say she was just at the very limit of being old enough to 'get' it and enjoy it properly - my (then) eight-year-old was much more the right age.

Cats definitely do try to 'talk' - they don't miaow to other cats, only humans. I swear to God our cat says 'hello' to us, only she can't quite manage the 'l' sound, so it comes out sounding a bit Japanese: 'herr-ow'. She does it whenever she comes in from outside, so it definitely feels deliberate, like she's mimicking us saying hello to her when we come in. Cracks us up every time.

Heber School has a teddy tombola for its summer fair. It's a bit early now but they'll be calling for donations in a couple of weeks so I'm sure you could drop them off there at the reception if you explain it's for the fair. Otherwise perhaps Kings College Hospital? Or a women's refuge? I think there's one on Barry Road but don't know the details.

Sorry, I also think it's fair enough, as long as it's in their garden. And I speak as a cat lover who has one myself. In fact I'm often to be seen charging outside hissing and flapping my arms at the other neighbourhood cats who hang out in our garden bullying my own very timid cat. A squirt of water is harmless and it'll make your cat think twice about going over there, which seems reasonable. Only if it's in your neighbour's garden, though - I'd take a bit of a dim view about them turning the hose on my cat in my own garden! Cross-posted with yours, OP. Don't know why you need to keep the cat indoors - there must be plenty of other places he/she could go?

Hang in there. It's really hard but it does get better. My youngest was very fussy and I've lost count of the number of mealtimes where we've battled. I've read all the advice about how you must remain calm and keep the dinner table a happy, relaxed place, but all I can say is that the people who dole out that advice must be much more Zen than me. That said, over the years I have made a HUGE effort not to lose my temper when she refuses to try something that all her friends are happily tucking into, or made a fuss when e.g. the tomato sauce for the pasta isn't exactly the same as the one she's used to. And I have persevered with trying new foods on her occasionally, and closing my ears to her protests. I try to present new foods without a fuss, preferably distracting her with jolly conversation about something else, and if she attempts a bite or two then that's great, job done, she can have some healthy snacks like wholemeal bread and butter/cheese/nuts/fruit to fill up if she's still hungry. I do praise her if she's tried something new but try not to overdo it as it makes it even more of a big deal. It has paid off, and now - miracle of miracles - she will occasionally try new things of her own accord and the big battles seem to be receding into the distance, but it has taken a long time (she is nine now). And I can't pretend we still don't have a pretty limited repertoire of daily meals - though I admit that's partly down to me taking the easy option; it's so much easier doling out some pasta knowing that she'll eat it rather than going to the trouble of making a chicken casserole that I know she'll pick at and moan about. If you feel your son's diet is affecting his health then maybe consider seeing a doctor who might be able to refer you to a nutritionist or at least offer some advice about how the tonsillitis might be affecting his tastebuds. But kids are pretty resilient and if he's growing well he's probably fine and it might be better not to turn it into an even bigger deal. I do think (in my daughter's case) she very quickly figured out that she gets a lot of attention if she kicks up a fuss at mealtimes, so for us downplaying the whole thing has helped. Also, over the years she has overheard my husband and I moaning about her being a 'fussy eater' (which I now realise was really stupid of us) and she has absolutely internalised that label; she practically wears it as a badge of honour. So try to avoid doing that as it is taking us years to unpick that. Good luck! And don't beat yourself up - you're doing your best, and it will get better.

Gosh, you lot are amazing, what nice people you are! Some brilliant thoughts here. The play idea is fantastic, really original (we're quite a small family so I don't think it would work for us but what a lovely idea - I got a bit teary myself when I read that!). And I love the poster one too - I'm going to have that one up my sleeve for my dad's 80th as that would be right up his street. The embroidered cushion is also really sweet, though my artistic child only likes drawing pictures of dying cats (don't ask) so not sure that would be appropriate for us. But I'm finding this all very inspiring. An idea is starting to crystalise around doing something along the lines of a 'This Is Your Life'-style book with photos/memories from family members, incorporating Lochie's poem idea... I will think on. But thanks so much for these thoughts - there are some lucky parents out there!