Laddy Muck

900

I fully embrace this. Chain gangs could march up and down my road sweeping up the leaves and berries which my hawthorne tree deposits every year: they create such a mess on my otherwise pleasant street and it would certainly save me the task on a Sunday morning. Whilst they are at it, these criminals could clear up all the poo which has emanated from my neighbours' obese and overly pampered cats. Incarceration for their violations of the law is not in itself a sufficient deterrent for their unintelligible, felonious skulls. It could be rather amusing for us law-abiding types. Indeed, one could make a day out of it. You know, following our Sunday morning latte and reading of the Daily Mail, the childen and the grandchildren could watch: teach them the consequences of not abiding by the law at an early age. But the proposals would have to be fair. It simply wouldn't do for all categories of villains to undertake the same task. A mugger, for example could be made to remove graffiti, whilst the drunk driver could collect the hawthorne berries shed by my hawthorne tree: one berry at a time. In the interests of true justice, punishment would have to be commensurate with crime. Indeed: my grandchildren could say "ooh look grandma, that man must have been very bad because he's picking up the hawthorne berries". In fact, wrongdoers could even be made to wear labels: shoplifter, burglar, fare-dodger etc. Ah, but why stop there. These miscreants will have, undoubtedly, come from families that are comprised of other miscreants. In order to stem this culture of lawlessness within such families, their partners and sprogs should, too, be forced to partake. And in areas where such problem families are seemingly ubiquitous, a whole estate - for example - could be drafted in. But why stop there, how about the entire population of a perceived rough and run down area? The possibilities are endless. Let us waste no further time. This is a fantastic opportunity to impress upon the minds of these wrongdoers that the soft option of prison will no longer do - they need to have instilled into them a sense of guilt, of embarrassment, of shame and humiliation, so that the likes of me may enjoy a better quality of life and sleep more easily at night - of course. (Forgive this, esteemed Chair. I noticed that my football hooligan alter-ego had not as yet been deactivated, and I simply could not resist such an opportunity as this one).

*enters confessional booth* Bless me Admin, for I have sinned. Please could you deactivate Laddy Muck, my football hooligan alter-ego. Thank you. Sorry for causing you unnecessary work. I meant no harm. I didn't think. *awaits penance*

:))

Snot fair... *sniff*

Erm...Wolves...

I'd like to pick Sunderland please :))