oimissus

the Rwanda comparison is a bit flawed I think, if for no other reason than it's presumably a life or death situation there, which it isn't here - if there is no other option (other than the unhelpful path of expensive formula made with limited and/or polluted water) of course a mother will keep going through thick or thin - but I can't see that it's a bad thing that women don't have to do that in other countries. However, at the same time there will be unlimited generational support - if ALL grandmothers, aunties, sisters etc have breastfed then the likelihood is far greater for breastfeeding to succeed. Which is what I meant in my previous post about the next generation having higher rates of breastfeeding as more parents will have been breastfed than in our generation, and so there will be more advice and support from within the family. My mum couldn't help me when I was getting started, but she certainly didn't try to disuade (sp?) me, she just quietly encouraged from the sidelines if you like. And I was lucky in that I was amongst the last in my group of friends to have a baby, so had help from friends who had breastfed their children (I can well imagine than if you're the first amongst your friends, with no family help on this issue, and poor outside support, it will be much much harder and you may well decide that there is a better option for you and your child). In short, I think that just left to themselves breastfeeding rates will improve without there having to be lots of handwringing about it. And we can't underestimate what a boon formula was/is - I don't suppose Monkey's was the only grandmother to see formula being liberating for her daughter. (reading my post back it's all a bit contradictory, isn't it - well, I know what I mean . . . )

yes, a sample of 36 mothers is hardly definitive! I bf'd for a year, baby never took a bottle but husband wasn't too fussed, he was bf'd himself so very supportive - which in itself makes me think the next generation with have higher bfing rates as it will have been the norm for more mothers as babies themselves. But also, I was ff'd (it was the 70s and my mum went back to work sharpish), and I've got a good degree from a 'good' uni, and was hardly ever ill as a child - so, it's not the end of the world. I also believe that the reason ffing could be tied into worse outcomes for a child is in situations NOT where the mother has tried but stopped earlier for one reason or another, but where there is complete ignorance about it, which could mean there's ignorance about other areas of childcare. Does that make sense? I'm hope someone far more articulate will come on to make sense of my ramblings! I also think a slogan more along the lines of 'every breastfeed counts' rather than 'breast is best' could be more encouraging?

I went to The Vale Practice on Grove Vale, I think she was called Rebecca? Or Rachel? It was around ?40. Miss Oi was ventouse but I didn't take her for that as such, I took her because she was dreadfully farty and we'd been using Infacol for ages which I was getting fed up of. One treatment and the wind was gone!

yes, could be the stereo. Trouble is, the speakers are only at the front so for Miss Oi to hear it in the back it does need to be quite loud. I really thought I'd be able to find some tapes in charity shops etc, but I guess they have been obsolete for ages now. Irritatingly, she quite often (though not always) really objects to us singing Old MacDonald or whatever, which just makes it all that bit more painful . . . toddlers, eh, tricky little tinkers ;)

bluesperted - yeah, we've had one of these, possible this very one - and it was rubbish, had to turn the sound up full whack on the iPod to get any kind of volume at all (inaudible on the motorway) and the sound quality was dire, so I'm feeling kinda sceptical! I know the bulk of the reviews for this one are good, but there are some recent bad ones which puts me off. Thanks for the tip though. Hey ho. One day we will acquire a car for the 21st century. Which is when this one was bought, new, would you believe. Cheap as chips, though, I guess when I bought it I wasn't contemplating this scenario!

we don't have a CD player in our luddite-vehicle and I so wish we had, listening to nursery rhymes would be infinitely preferable to having to listen to Miss Oi whinge and wail her way through the traffic as we slog back through central London to home. anyone got any tapes??

I don't know anything about water births beyond the fact that everyone I know who planned to have one didn't for one reason or another, but having read this I thought I should point out that there is the very real likelihood that there will be a hosepipe ban after Easter, so I would suggest you need to prepare other ways of filling your pool should this happen (not knowing your due date of course), should this usage fall under the terms of the ban. Best of luck, water births sound lovely!

so, now that my family have beetled off, leaving me in peaceful bliss, thought I'd share my random selection of gifts. A card (trad, lovely) and flowers (which was a complete surprise, Mr Oi not being a flowers kinda guy), this week's NME featuring Robert Smith on the front cover (OK, so I was a huge Cure fan back in the day, but I certainly haven't bought NME for a gazillion years), and a CD of Florence + the Machine's Lungs. Which I already have. But what's this hiding inside? The DVD of Breaking Dawn Part the First!!!! Ooooh, he's such a tease. that's my day sorted. Feet up, tissues in one hand (for my vile cold, you understand), remote control in the other, and a ludicrously enjoyably rubbish film on the telly. Result. Though I think in abut an hour's time I'm gonna miss those two. Love 'em to bits.

Jenny, how awful, I hope you're feeling alright. Why do people steal phones, I just don't get it, aren't they two-a-penny these days? Re: your photos - everyone, definitely save your pictures onto hard disk, friends of ours were burgled and had their laptop stolen, which had ALL their photos of their little girl on it (aged 2 at the time) - irreplaceable. I'm going to get a disk and start doing mine now (been meaning to do this for yonks)!

I am having a child-free day!!!! But only because I'm feeling too poorly to head up to MIL's with Mr and Miss Oi. I'm reckoning on having 6-7 hours ALL BY MYSELF!!!!!!!! Huzzah!

oh, and held in the evening

does anyone know of such a thing? I used to go to an aerobics class held in a hall (not a gym) that was a load of women between 20 and 60 dressed in whatever ramshackle exercise-wear they could find, bopping away to cheesy pop - and I would love to go to something similar now! I don't want to fork out too much, which is why I don't want to have to join a gym. Also, if anyone could recommend a pilates course, in the evening, that would be good. My physio mentioned one at Dulwich Hamlets but it starts at 6 which is too early for me to get to once husband is home. thanks!

omigod, you're so right about Amazon, I also have fussy feral cats! Wow. It's all a bit bulk buying though, isn't it, not sure I've got the storage space, big kitchen but not actually many cupboards. Hmmm, will have to think. Thanks for all the top tips everyone, I went to Sainsbo's today, didn't even do a full shop and it was ?85!!!

slight tangent, but this thread has really got me thinking, and what with starting work again, albeit at home, and shopping with toddler becoming a pain, I think I'm going to have to broach the world of online shopping. Any tips, forumites? Or are they all much of a muchness? D'you think you do save money doing your shopping like this?

that's interesting, my mum was (and I think still is really!) spectacularly lazy. Not disorganised as such, but I think she was secretly relieved that my sister and I were quiet, shy things, happiest at home with a book a la Lucy Mangan - I absolutely can't see her shepherding us around to a gazillion activities, which would be right enough, as she didn't. She's got an excellent memory though. My memory's been awful for years, can't blame that one on age or the baby!

I'm kind of like Ruth, know what's going on with Miss Oi's regular routine, but all over the place otherwise, which I put down to have a shocking memory, and having still not quite accepted that life with a child can't be the same jolly spontaneous affair that it was before. The weekends are a shambles!

wow, you're all so good, I don't know how I manage to spend so much! We're a family of 5 (2 adults, 1 toddler and 2 cats) and we average about ?80/90 on a big shop, plus trips throughout the week for more bread, milk,WINE and whatever else I've forgotten. And we're veggie (mainly)! I think I'm going to have to start doing online shopping as I do tend to drift about seeing whatever catches my eye. And we do chuck out an embarrassing amount, due to toddler refusal and just being too knackered to do any proper cooking half the time. And we have a small freezer so don't freeze all that much which I should do. I mainly go to Sainsbo's except for fresh bread and nappies which I tend to get in Asda. Basics include bread (unsliced loaf, baguette and bagels), milk, cheese, salad stuff and veggies, not much fruit (we're all a bit rubbish with fruit, personally I'd rather have a packet of cheese'n'onion any day), crisps, toddler snacks and yoghurty things, cat food, passata. I love supermarket shopping, I find it incredibly relaxing. Every so often we go to Waitrose in St Katherine's Docks which I dress up as a trip to the river for our daughter ;-) Sigh. Still, at least I'm not spending loads on fags and getting trashed anymore, hey?? [salad days emoticon]

I exclusively breastfed for a year, and my daughter wouldn't take a bottle either (grrrr!), but that was more a bore for going out by myself. Friends who did some bottle feeding of expressed milk still seemed to mainly breastfeed when out and about with the baby, because, as others said, it's just easier, all you need are your bosoms and a muslin! If you are feeling self-conscious about it, then I think that a nursing top or a top with stretchy vest underneath is pretty discreet - top up, vest down, baby on boob, away you go with minimal flashing of breast. It took me a few weeks struggling with the latch but once she got that we were well away. Personally I think those big covers draw more attention to you. I bf'd all over the place: cafes, museums, shops (John Lewis and Peter Jones were favourites), the concourse at Victoria Station, the train, in the car (whilst stationary!), on the grass. Never did it on a bus though. And never got so much as a second glance. You are so mobile with a tiny baby so make the most if it!

Tippee Toes also do baby classes

could you disable the front passenger airbag and put the carseat next to you, then she'll be able to see you? I quite often had the baby next to me, mainly so I could see her TBH, but it might work!

John Lewis

I don't know any websites but we have done many walks from this series of books, there's ones for Sussex and one called In and Around London I think, which goes up to the M25 if I remember rightly. http://www.amazon.co.uk/Pathfinder-Kent-Walks-Guide/dp/0711706123/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1330549198&sr=8-1

you could try Baby Sensory in Honor Oak, it's only suitable for up to 13 months, we went from 6 to 13 months and we loved it.

yes, I have read the same (and a friend with older children also told me this) and have only given my now 2 year old white bread, rice and pasta - but she is also veggie and too much fibre can be a problem of a veggie diet so I think it's quite important for them. I read in the Times a few months ago that white bread flour (unlike wholemeal) is fortified, so it's not really 'bad'!

I know that there are a couple of German (or at least they speak German and aren't English, apologies if they are Austrian, or another nationality practising their German!) childminder/nanny/au pairs (not sure which) who I see at a few things, Tippee Toes on a Thursday and All Saints playgroup on Wednesday, so maybe your au pair could go along to those and try to hook up with them. They're nice groups to go to anyway!