minimac

Saffron, that's what I do - pull out a chair/bed and hold his hand. Trouble is, it has become habit and I want to spend the night in my bed tbh! He goes sleep well at 7 and at lunch time with no problem. Ginster, I've done the bribery of a 'sweetie in the mornings for you don't wake mummy' but that's fallen on deaf ears, as has a sticker. Thinking he's too young to understand that concept just yet.

So my son 2yrs 2months has hit a big sleep regression. About a month ago he started waking hysterically, with what seemed like nightmares ie really genuinely upset. This was about once a week and the only way to settle him was to bring him into our bed or me sleep on his floor (not very comfy!). However over the last 10 days he's waking once if not twice wanting mummy or daddy. I've tried the ssh pat, a sleep sheep/white noise - that goes on and he starts getting cross knowing I'm going to leave him. Last few nights he's woken but not seemed very upset, ie no nightmares (I don't think), he is just calling for mummy/daddy. He absolutely will not settle until I lie on the floor holding his hand. There is no fixed time to the wake ups - anytime from 10.30 to 5am. I think he's now got in the habit of not self settling unless I'm with him. Tried controlled crying last night for 1.5 hours, gave up and ended up on his floor holding hands again. He wasn't crying hard during this time, just standing up with his will of steel gently crying for me. I've tried the ssh/pat going in every few mins but he get's more upset every time I go in. I'm exhausted and don't want a co sleeper. Any ideas on what to do? Thanks

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Thanks yummers and buggie, it is definitely separation anxiety so will perserver with the sooth pat and read that link. Last night was 40 mins of hysteria before sleep so it can only get better!

My son is nearly 13 months and used to be great at going to bed at 7. After about 5/10 mins of being quiet and happy he stands in his cot really screaming. He's been walking for about a month, don't know if this has anything to do it with it but for the last 2/3 weeks or so he's been getting worse at going to bed. I've tried bringing bed time forward 10/15 mins so he's not at the too over tired point but it hasn't made a differene. I've stuck to the same routine etc (have a 4 year old so already fully 'Routined' ) so can't really work out the issue. It certainly seems to be only me he wants and not my husband as baby immediately lies back down and sort of stops crying when I'm in with him. I've tried the sssh pat, hand on him etc, cuddles, standing by cot then moving further away but to be honest nothing is really working and every night it is at least 30 mins of a screaming baby (unsettling the 4 year old and parents getting frazzled etc!). He has a sleep sheep with white noise I put on once he's 'kicked off' to help calm him but also doesn't seem to help. Any thoughts/tips would be gratefully received ! Thanks

Anyone know of a man with a van that can remove a wardrobe before Monday next week? Flat just behind Goose Green. Any recommendations please let me know. Thanks

Hi Sorry not sure where best to post this message but we've sold our flat and urgently need (ie before Monday next week) to remove a wardrobe from our flat. We don't live locally anymore so not possible to do ourselves. Can anyone recommend someone please ?? Thanks

Hi - can anyone please recommend a family friendly hotel for June 2015 holiday - we've two children 4 and 1 so would like to be walking distant to things. Ideally, we're wanting interconnecting rooms or children in a separate sleeping area so not sure if hotels are really geared up for this (without breaking the bank!). We need guaranteed sun so thinking perhaps Portugal, Turkey or maybe Greece. We did a Thomson all inclusive in Majorca 2 yrs ago with 1 child and we liked the ease of it all ie kids entertainment in the evening, on the beach and close to town, just don't want to go back. If we are barking up the wrong tree even considering a hotel are their any apartment rental recommendations? Many thanks

I had similar issues and what helped was adding fruit to anything I made - over a week or so the amount of Apple, for example, that I mixed in with chicken casserole got less. I also mixed an Ella pouch with mine which also worked. Don't forgot though that even if you want your baby to do BLW, your daughter might not be on for it and want pur?es and spoon fed. Certainly something I've learnt with my second is that a baby knows it's own mind and won't always do it 'your way'! Good luck

We are looking at doing a sensatori Thomson holiday in Turkey next summer with two children (4 & 1). If you've been, would you recommend? They are quite expensive so is it worth it? Also if you've been, we are looking at the the double room for 4....could that be all a little too close for comfort?! We are not parents that do co-sleeping at all and normally can barely share a room with them for 1 or 2 nights. ( don't mean that to sound cold hearted but we all sleep well but separately from them!)

Was reading up on mirena coil last night - sounds like there is a very high chance of weeks and weeks/months of bleeding and discomfort until things are settled. Do you think this is the norm mirena users? Whilst It sounds better than I thought not sure I can deal with that.

Why go through the hideousness of getting a coil fitted if it has the hormone - sounds easier just to pop the daily pill and if there were any side effects then I can be in control of stopping immediately. Unless there are any other benefits?

So, two children down and we are done (tbh husband far more so than me but I guess in reality no3 isn't quite so appealing as previous very wanted no 1 & 2). I used to be on the pill and came off 5 yrs ago when we got married. Was on it for years without issue but now at 37 for some reason I'm reluctant to go on it. Risks of breast cancer etc etc (although am not prime "candidate" etc). Given my periods are hideously heavy (on trans acid to reduce heaviness each month as they've got worse since having children). They also last a proper 7 days if not 8. Basically the worst and I hate each month. What do "most" people opt for? Dr is plugging the pill - coil I'm v reluctant about as heard they can make periods heavier - simply not worth risking!! Husband is happy to vasectomy as soon as I give the green light - but can't quite make that step just yet. So....what to do. Withdrawal worked v well from marriage to no1 pregnancy and between no1 and 2 but I guess then if any 'whoopsies' happened against our time frames it didn't really matter but now we are "done" I don't really relish a 'whoopsie'! So all in all, in bit of a quandary .....

Hi EG - have just read your last post and things sound much better. I haven't read all the replies either (quite a lot!) but for what it's worth if he takes a turn for being upset again perhaps see a cranial osteopath (can highly highly recommend Simon at The Vale Practice). He literally just puts his hands on patient - I had It all through pregnancy no 1 and then he saw my son. It is totally non invasive but my point being that some babies, as a result of their birth, get bad pressure headaches especially if their head plates (not technically put but hope you follow!) don't release or go back properly after the birth. I know of some babies that have been transformed by a calming cranial osteopath treatment. Hope you're starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and enjoy with pride your baby.

Have you tried baby massage using oil on baby's tummy. My baby had problems when little and my hv gave me tips like gently massaging clockwise in a circle and holding his ankles and making his legs go like on a bike. They helped him become less windy. It also helps baby to 'go'. There were other exercises too - only took about 5 mins at bath time. Also, with my 3 year old we had awful poo probs until only two months ago and our hv said he needed 2 pints of water a day - obviously way more than your little one would need at his age but my point is I was really surprised by how much liquid a little one needed. We increased his drinking by getting a gimmicky drinking cup and it worked wonders! Your son is probably too young to fall for that 'trick' . It's worth looking at if he really does have enough liquid intake.

Hi CocoC - yes I totally agree with what you say about being a human dummy to constantly feed to settle - what I meant by feeding was baby being asleep from beginning of evening through to 3/4 ish then waking up without dummy in, so dummy gets popped back in rather than fed. Then the in/out game starts of dummy but actually what baby needs is a feed then dummy back in if necessary then baby will settle. In essence my point is that baby should be fed first before being settled as the feed should settle baby. Well this was my experience anyway!

Are you still feeding him at night? My second boy is the same age and I tried him on the dummy when v little but when he was hungry he kept spitting it out. When they wake repeatedly ie sleep then wake again quickly like half hourly or hourly it is because they are hungry not because they need dummy. I found this out myself after trying the sooth pat technique after speaking to a sleep consult and dummy rejected for last couple of months. Anyway, I gave in fed him and he always went straight back to sleep. Felt a lot less tired and more human instantly! Just because he may have done some nights without a feed doesn't mean he doesn't need it on other nights as I slowly worked out! Might be worth a try for you as dealing with another child whilst bog tired is hard work!

Thanks everyone. I've paid up and spoken to nicola and hoping for some full nights soon!

My son is the king of sleep cycles. I'm desperate. He's tired. Any recommendations please on someone I call would be greatly appreciated! Thanks

BellendeBear - a white noise -is that like a sleep sheep which plays either rain/ whales/ ocean noises? We have one which is set i think at 24 or 46 mins (or similar)so I could certainly try that. Polly73 - he is swaddled in a blanket under arms for his day naps but in a baby sleeping bag at night. I could try putting him in the bag to see if that makes a difference (as seems ok at night in it). Not sure if it would as he sleeps ok in the morning swaddled under arms. Think I will try reducing his morning nap though and see if that helps. Oh the joys of babies and their sleep!

ok, so this conversation has probably already been had a million times over but i need help! My 10wk old cannot resettle himself at lunch time. His routine is pretty much - morning sleep (can do 2 hours on his own - generally down without a fuss and no dummy). Lunchtime sleep - down sometimes with fuss and sometimes ok (generally ok though) - no dummy. Sleeps 40-45 mins and then up - will NOT resettle at all. Won't take the dummy and generally furious at being kept in bed. I pick him up and carry on with things thinking that he doesn't need a big sleep, especially if he's slept well in the morning but he is grumbling and cross because he is tired and then will go back to sleep as soon as i put him in the pram - pacing up and down the garden or go into the car and drive. Thing is I have a 3 year old and am generally tired and don't have the energy to be pacing up and down the garden or going on random road trips just to resettle him. If he was up after a sleep cycle without grumbling that would be ok but he is still tired and still wants to sleep. I've tried the 'sleep sheep', patting, cuddling and putting down, pacing his bedroom. All to no avail. He goes down at 7 - sometimes ok and sometimes not - generally with dummy. Essentially his going to sleep pattern isn't the same for each sleep - don't know if this makes a difference - don't suppose it does. I've tried putting him to sleep earlier at lunch time having read that if they are over tired they don't resettle after a sleep cycle but this hasn't made any difference either. Anyway, any tips on getting him to self settle would be much appreciated!

Thanks Kes for those southwarkbelle links - really interesting reading. Has to be said, the more I research it the more likely a c-sec no2 is in favour. I'm trying to way up if my 'inner womanly desires' to naturally birth can be tucked away for good (we won't be having any more children). Jollybaby - Am quite taken aback that you know of two ruptures - a v high number I think for something supposedly 'so rare'. That really does make me think a c-sec is the only route. It could really happen. Also the rates ClareC mentions are much higher than we are led to believe. (Also cannot believe your mw recommended a home vbac - madness!) but thankfully you made the right decision for you. I still can't help but curse the lanes midwife who missed the breach and has left me with her mistake to 'dodge round' and has essentially taken away some of my rights as a woman (choice or not of a vbac, when faced with so many at risk issues is that really a choice......) - which ultimately has such a huge impact now on my life and my family's.

Thanks everyone for your feedback. I guess i've got a lot of thinking to still do. Whilst I have family closer this time which will help the care at the hospital is totally different. I will just be going in as another patient with no rapport or relationship build up with any of the midwives on duty. I see the same midwife for most check ups but she won't be at the hospital. I guess my real concern is that I won't trust any of them to be doing their job properly - hugely negative mindset i know but having had my first midwife at the Lanes who missed the breach I have lost faith in them. That said, once we saw the consultant and were into the Kings hospital for the c-sec itself it all went smoothly. It will be v difficult to believe i'll get the right care at the time that will give me strength to stand by my VBAC decision if that is what i choose without anyone knowing/understanding my fears - i can't quite imagine if i'm in labour it will be the right time to talk about it! As my husband says, i'm a naturally anxious person so maybe all this worry is just in my nature. I am definitely considering the hypnobirthing route as i think it would be very beneficial for me whether i go VBAC or C-Sec. I guess what my underlying fear behind this is all (aside of not trusting the midwives - and i don't mean that horribly as they are wonderful people and do a fab job but i feel i was at the hands of someones incompetence once already) is that if I go VBAC and things go wrong, will having and Emergency C Sec be more traumatic than going in for an elective C-Sec?!

I am currently half way through my second pregnancy and the birth of this baby has me filled with questions (and hugely anxious). My first child was a c-sec (undiagnosed breach at 42 weeks) so i have the choice this time of having a VBAC. Sadly we are no long in ED but i'm still attached to the forum and would value thoughts of those who have also experienced this dilema. It took me a long time to get over the c-sec pyschologically because it was such a shock to have a breach (perhaps a bit naive to have never considered that I wouldn't have laboured some way or another). This baby is due 3 years later exactly and whilst I have always been adament that I wanted to experience a natural child birth I am now really hesitant. I have been having horrific nightmares/recurring dreams that something goes wrong and happens to the baby because I 'stupidly' chose a natural birth rather than a 2nd c-sec. I can't help but think my 'inner brain' is trying to tell me something. I am bit of a control freak so perhaps i'm trying to 'plan' too much on this birth which is daft i know as it'll come when it comes. I am hugely anxious though of the risks. Yes, i have read up on it and yes, i hear that VBACS are all ok nowadays etc etc but back in the day it was 'once a c-sec, always a c-sec'. Whilst medicine may have moved on, a woman's body is the same the risks are the same. I don't like the idea of 5/6 recovery especially with a child already but the health/wellbeing of my baby goes above and beyond any discomfort i'll feel for a few weeks. I have heard of many positive VBAC outcomes and it isn't like I'm wanting to hear peoples horror stories but am i mad in consdiering a VBAC and is it just plain safer having another c-section? All maternity wards are full capacity and what happens if I have a junior midwife looking after me who is not experienced enough to notice the signs of my natural labour going wrong because of previous c-sec - the risks are obviously greater this time. I have an appointment with a midwife c-sec referall team that runs in my area but i don't want to be hit with NHS glory chat - i need to hear the realistic side of things....... Thanks in advance

If you're sure she's not cold then the 'wake to sleep' option is def worth giving a go. We had similar problems with our son about the same age and 2 or 3 nights of wake to sleep and he went back to sleeping through. It sounds drastic and worse than it is but I figured 2 nights of setting an alarm (or more if necessary) was worth it up against weeks and weeks of broken sleep which has become habit forming. Whatever you decide good luck!