sugarmouse

I got the same answer from the shop opposite Forest Hill Pools - just that they supported local causes. So after spending ?20 there, I asked if they'd put up a poster advertising our primary school's summer fair, (the school is about 5 roads away). The poster never went up so obviously they don't support that kind of cause! I'd be interested to know too. The one opposite Forest Hill pools doesn't have a changing room either which I think is kind of odd in a clothes shop...

I've just done your questionnaire - very interesting and made me think. I particularly liked putting a percentage on how much I feel like a mum versus an employed person. I agree you can feel wholly both but being a mum takes up about 70% of my emotional and physical energy versus 30% taken up by work.

We just took two to Spain - for our 4 and 6 year olds - and they absolutely loved them! In truth, they were a bit big for them (6 year old boy had to hold his legs straight out in front!) but they passed the time in the airport, were a godsend when there was nowhere else to sit down and were also surprisingly roomy - each held three or four outfits for the kids. I'd recommend them but buy second hand if you can

Wow, you're easily riled, eh Lane Lover?? I think you'll find a lot of busy working mums forget to send off passport renewals until a month before a holiday - and also believe the three week turnaround time widely advertised on the passport website. No need for cattiness really!

Just a word of warning hopefully to stop other people going through the stress I've been through this week! I sent my son's passport renewal form off four working weeks before we were due to go on holiday - the website advises leaving three so I foolishly thought I was in loads of time. I sent it via the Post Office's Check and Send service, costing about ?58, and the man agreed that I should have the passport back within three weeks. I got a text from the Passport Office FIVE days later, to say my passport had arrived. So that was nearly one whole week gone - silly me for thinking taking it to the PO and paying for Check and Send would make it quick! Anyway, to cut a long story short, after three weeks, I rang up and they said they'd decided to double check my counter-signatory so had posted out another form to his work address using a second class stamp. Argh! That took another four days to receive and sort out by which time I was getting very nervous! To make matters worse, I was told my passport was being sorted out by the Durham office so may have to pick it up there! After being on hold for nearly an hour and a half in total, I was put on the list for an 'upgrade' and had a nervous 24 hour wait until they rang me back and said the only way of getting it in time was to pay an extra ?70 in courier postage! Of course I did this rather than lose the holiday but the whole process was very stressful and took over four working weeks. Don't leave your passport applications until the last minute, people! It might say 3 weeks but I'd leave 6!

We just spent a BLISSFUL night at the Four Seasons in Canary Wharf. We got the train to London Bridge then the Clipper boat to the Canary Wharf stop which is right outside the Four Seasons. The best thing about it was that guests of the hotel get a free pass to the Virgin Active gym there which has an infinity pool overlooking the Thames, a sauna, steam room and two amazing hydrotherapy pools. Honestly, we did not want to leave! Not cheap but with the spa experience included, we thought it was well worth it.

A friend of mine sold a two bed house on the St Francis estate 18 months ago. It went on the market for ?375k (I think) and after a frenzied group viewing, went to sealed bids and they got offered ?390k. HOWEVER, when the surveyor came round to value it, he said it wasn't worth ?390k and that they wouldn't sanction a morgage on it. My friend had to drop the price back down to nearer the original asking price (I think they got ?380k in the end. If only more surveyors would put the brakes on like that, the market might not overheat quite so much. BTW, my friend thought it was ridiculous and that people should be allowed to pay whatever they were prepared to off. Needless to say, I didn't agree. After all, there are so many people out there with ?200-300k equity, it's not fair that they can pay much, much higher than the rest who have only a normal sized deposit. I think we're heading to a situation where only people who got on the housing ladder before, say, 2007 can actually afford anything bigger than a shoe box due to the fact they've magically accrued so much equity...

No, part-time study is not possible. I'm sure I'd be able to squeeze in some pick ups and drop-offs but would probably need to pay for five days' childcare anyway as I won't know what my study patterns would be month to month so would need the back up. I like your suggestion - Sillywoman - to do some less taxing but still-stimulating qualifications in the meantime. Not Silly at all!

Bellenden Belle, thanks so much for sharing that, I really feel for you. I do feel sad at the thought of giving up ALL pick-ups and drop-offs. Plus my childminder has just given me two months' notice which makes me realise how precarious childcare is. That's another reason to wait till they're a bit older... Thanks again for all the comments, veering towards leaving it for another few years but will let you know if I ever decide for definite!

Financially we're doing ok - happy with our very old car and one British holiday a year. Not luxury but enough - for now, anyway! Once I qualified, I probably could work part time, it's just the three years' training which would be very full on. Still thinking. Another factor is that my husband's job is very long hours at the moment and not sure that adding another stress in is a good idea. Thanks for the reply though, SE22mum!

Hello, I wondered what anyone else would do in this situation. Any thoughts welcome! After having my two kids, I did a bit of a career change and got a part-time job in the NHS, working 9-5 three days a week. It's not very highly qualified or well paid but I absolutely love it and could happily do it for another five years or so. In short, it's ideal with small-ish children but.... A part of me feels I should be pushing myself harder and going on to qualify in the higher-skilled (and better paid) area of this job. It would be three years of full time training - with all the childcare and stress that would involve. But it would really challenge me and would mean I'd be well qualified by the age of 40 (I'm nearly 36 now). Should I stick with what I've got and enjoy time with my 4 and 6 year old? Or should I take the plunge and retrain sooner rather than later? Part of me worries that if I retrain when they're a bit older, they'll resent me for being so busy when they're at secondary school. Has anyone else done intensive retraining with kids of any age? If so, would you recommend it?? Thanks!

We used Cynthia at Kiki's in Clapham and found her very good.

We moved from Denmark Hill to Sydenham about 3 1/2 years ago and have never regretted it. Our son is at St Bartholomew's school on The Peak and we're really happy with that too. We love Sydenham Wells park (zip slide and water sprinklers in the summer!) and the whole row of shops near Forest Hill with the old fashioned sweet shop Sugar Mountain. Transport links good too - children travel free on the Overground (or Ginger Line as we call it) so we often head up to Canary Wharf at the weekend. Top tip - the houses at the top end of Sydenham (around Sydenham Park Road and Peak Hill) are only about a 10 min walk to Forest Hill library and swimming pool - much closer to Forest Hill than half the houses in the Forest Hill postcode. Half the price too! You can buy a nice semi-detatched for about ?400k - ?500. Not cheap but cheaper than East Dulwich!!!

Thanks Adonirum, I'll keep you posted!

I agree that mouse droppings look like chocolate sprinkles and I should know - we've had them down the back of our sofa for months now - ewwww! We tried so many things to catch the blighter(s): poison, humane traps, sticky boards - I watched one night as the mouse exited the hole in the radiator box where he was living, sniffed around then jumped over the sticky boards we'd laid down... We finally got rid of him last week with LOTS of industrial strength sticky boards from pest-expert.com, lined up across a doorway so there was no way for him to get back home without running over them. Bit of a sad end but we'd tried most humane methods and nothing had worked. We spent around ?70 in the end, probably should just have called a pest control person but never knew they could be so clever! Let's hope there was only one... Good luck!

Indeed RenF! In fact, we didn't even give the cheque made out to charity until we'd seen the wills and were happy with them. Nothing dodgy I can assure you Fl0wer!

Hello, I have to stand up for Will Aid - I disagree totally that there are percentages written into the wills for the solicitors as Fl0wer says. We did Will Aid last year, a couples will costing about 150 pounds I think. we went to Ewings in Penge - only a 15 min drive from East Dulwich and saw Jonathan. He was brilliant, gave us free advice, for example on how we could make sure our children were looked after if we both died. Will took a couple of weeks then we were invited back to sign it - and NOWHERE in the small print did it say anything about a percentage. We just paid a flat fee to charity (can't remember the exact amount but around ?150) and we got the wills. Ewings keep a copy free of charge as well. Can't recommend it enough and saved us a fortune.

I'd move - a few parents at our school in Sydenham moved mid year in reception and their children settled in within weeks. We're at St Bart's in Sydenham and love it. Elliot Bank and Kelvin Grove also good - definitely worth asking if they've got places. Also, I work in ED and often drive in at 8.30 - the drive is ok MOST of the time but one or two mornings a week, it gets very congested around Forest Hill/Sydenham Hill. You'd have to leave at least half an hour in the morning to be on the safe side I think...

Hiya, I wanted to re-recommend John Powers as a heating and/or boiler engineer. We called him after seeing him recommended on the EDF to come and service our boiler and to see what other work needed doing on our heating system. He's polite and helpful and was honest when servicing the boiler - saying we'd get another couple of years out of it. He also was very helpful advising us on what we could do about our rattly hot water system. Then when we could smell gas the following day, he popped straight back round (and this was a Saturday) to check all our valves for us. Very pleased and would not hesitate to recommend. He's on 07977 909339.

I hate to tell you this but some children just don't need to nap at this age - my daughter didn't. She dropped all naps at about 20 months and it was difficult at first - both for her, stretching through the day but also for me, psychologically! I found she'd still sleep in the car so I used to schedule a drive if I thought if she was desperate for a sleep but in general, it was just about getting through the tired bit mid-afternoon, then getting ready for bed early (6.30 ish so she could drop straight off at 7). Mid afternoon, I'd just let her watch telly for an hour or so and sometimes she'd drop off (especially if I put a blanket on her) but it got ridiculous trying to force her to nap when she obviously was strongly resisting it. It might not be what you want to hear but that was my experience!

Thanks everyone. The Hippychick stuff did look good but once I'd added in a duvet protector, it was going to be ?70+, ouch. In the end, I spent ?50 on a kit from the incontinence website eric.org.uk that includes a mattress protector and a duvet protector. I'll keep you posted!

I finally think my son is ready to try nights without 'pyjama pants' (ie nappies) - he's five and a half so it's been a long wait! I know I'll need a waterproof mattress protector - has anyone got any suggestions for good ones? I looked on Amazon and the best ones seem to be ?25+, is this right? And do you think I need a waterproof (wee proof!) duvet protector too? Any suggestions welcome. Thanks!

My nearly 4 year old daughter has just turned weepy and full of tantrums! Everyone used to say how lucky we were to have such a grown-up, calm girl but in the last few months, she whines, weedles, and throws herself on the floor if she doesn't get her own way. It's a bit of a shock after nearly four years! I think she's bored but unfortunately isn't starting school this year as she's an October birthday. Not sure what the answer is but she's definitely worse when tired and/or hungry. Lots of sleep, food and patience needed!

I go to VAS Dental Care, a couple of doors down from Sainsbury's, bottom end of Lordship Lane near Forest Hill station. It's not posh by any strecth of the imagination but it's NHS and I see the same dentist every time who is charming and helpful. He even managed to get my wisdom tooth removed on the NHS rather than make me pay privately for it. His assistant always gives my kids stickers too. Try them!

FL: did you get back to Dave when he offered to put things right? We noticed that our black beams were looking a bit patchy a month or so after the initial painting and rang Dave who explained it was just wood filler showing through. He then came back free of charge and repainted the black bits with no quibbles at all. I think that's the sign of a professional tradesman and would not hesitate to recommend him.