*Bob*

With a little co-operation with the Hi-Fi man, a few neon letter changes and a decimal point surely a mutually beneficial deal could be struck? "Coffee from ?5.95"

It's not a point. It's an observation. What are you saying..? That it's ok to use the word 'gay' or 'poof' as an (ironic) slur - as long as you're gay?

Context is everything. There's no black and white here, James - even if you think there ought to be. Lots of gay men themselves use gay/poof as a lighthearted slur - all them time. To each other. To their partners. To other people. "Stop being such a poof" etc etc

What exactly is a 'dutch bike'? Is it similar to a 'dutch oven' in any way?

I've had a think about it and stand by my original estimate, based on sixty years of adult life. Curtains and making of for a decent-sized room: ?750 3 rooms with curtains: ?2250 Curtains changed every 20 years Total ?6750 Blinds, per room (averaged for 1-2 windows) - ?100 3 rooms with blinds ?300 Blinds changed every 7 years. Total ?2550 Re-upholstery of occasional item of furniture: ?750 One item re-upholstered every 15 years Total - ?3000 One cushion/soft thing every other year: ?25 Total - ?750 Total ?13000. Allowing for inflation over the next 60 years.. roughly ?20,000 Obviously if you'd prefer shit curtains etc then you can cut-down somewhat on the above figures.

I didn't have time to collate data on exact expenditure on soft furnishings during a lifetime - I apologise. The idea was to illustate good business sense - ie making people feel welcome in your shop even if they're just browsing. Obviously.

?2 today ?200 tomorrow ?20000 over a lifetime. If you're right about that, AllforNun, he's an idiot.

I haven't been to the Adventure yet, but it must be good if it motivates a first-time poster to register on here and tell everyone what good value for money the drinks are.

What's the point in Mr Adventure coming back on here to hear a load of whingers droning-on about Inside 72 and all about how his new bar is ruining the y'know like ubercoolvillageyvibe? I wouldn't. I don't like turkey drummers, but I don't expect Bernard Matthews to pay me a visit in person and attempt to justify his monsterous creation in person - whilst I stamp on his feet and slap him in the mush. I just don't eat them.

Definitely get an Escort. Then just recline back and wait for her call.

Dulwich_ Park_ Fairy Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Do you live in a terraced or detatched house? Ha Ha!

Whatever you do, don't do anything before you've squirrelled-away any items of value. Making them cry like a baby doesn't mean they're entitled to your CD collection.

Surely it depends on your age? If you're thirteen, then text message is almost de rigueur these days. Or get a friend to simply phone and say "you're dumped" whilst you giggle in the background, high on solvents and cider. Angst-ridden teenagers dumping their longer-term partners would be best to go with a letter. This way you can spill your guts in an ill-advised emotional missive - one you're sure to regret writing almost the instant you've sent it. Anything over the age of thirty and cohabiting: my advice would be to gradually become cold and detached over a long period of time until it finally dawns on your partner that you haven't had sex for two years and you always delete text messages the instant you receive them.

SeanMacGabhann Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- .... some of the best progress in history > have been through civil disobedience. That's the finest justification for a lock-in I've heard to date.

Peanut butter and chocolate, ????. But their absolute favourite is tasty, wholesome poison.

Louisa Village aka Bromley-sur-mer

The only way you can stop them from coming in is by either never leaving a crumb of food or drop of water anywhere in your house, ever.. or by blocking every hole and gap larger than the width of a pencil with wire wool, expanding foam and anything else that will fit. Buy a few packets of Difenacoum for 99p each instead - and go to the pub.

Furniture Village

Ace.. Are you saying Pierre is.. dirty..?

Interesting things, mice. Did you know that they urinate almost constantly, and if you shine a UV torch you can see all the trails of little mousey piss they leave wherever they've been? (which invariably is 'everywhere') Bless!

What was there before? I can't seem to remember any gaps that would have let a new development in. (Though obviously there must have been..)

Whoever invented these ultrasonic contraptions is a genius. They've managed to tap-into a desire not to kill wikkle animals and obsession with 'futuristic' solutions.. all to sell a product which is proven to have absolutely no useful effect whatsoever. The latest version of the 'Pestclear' device has two flashing lights on it (so you can see the science at work) and costs ?5 more. Still doesn't work though.

Bellend Village

Keef Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Apparently you can get snake shite (seriously) in > little pellets, but our local pet shop don't do > them. You can also stand on a stool in the kitchen chanting 'la la la mice mice go away' but that doesn't work either.

More likely to end-up on Crimewatch