*Bob*

Hey Natasha! Check-out these ones! The one in the hat looks really funny and gay, doesn't he? HA HA HA!

I say lets DO IT, Natasha. We can take sticks and prod them when they come out. Maybe even give a couple of 'em a kicking. What do you say?

Couldn't we organise an EDF coach down to Vauxhall on a Sunday morning? Surely it would be better to see all those hilarious poofs in the flesh rather than just looking at pictures? Natasha?

Natasha, Attempting to justify your description by putting-up photos from a night at a gay bar specifically meant for 'bears' is as silly as going to see the Grimethorpe Colliery Band and coming to the conclusion that all musical instruments must be made of brass.

Dying comfortably in debt takes a certain amount of skill and planning. Living your last years in poverty might be the more likely outcome.

Louisa Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > If that is the case, then why is it that as a > straight female I can socialise with gay females > and be touchy feely without any references to sex > or the perception that they are coming onto me, Because Sally is sensible, realistic and a little more and mature about such things. Harry, on the other hand, would probably try and stick his knob in a post box if he could get away with it. I'm generalising, of course.

yes yes yes yes yes i know i know i know It was just to illustrate a point that 'the relationship' between gay men and women will always be different to that of gay men and other men, on account of sex not being an issue. There's even a very popular crappy film based around this well-accepted premise. When Harry met Harry, I think it was called.

I believe a certain amount of scientific research has gone into this one Clive, and the results concluded that drunk, overconfident and sweaty men were prone to making errors of judgement, but eventually - if they pestered enough women - would probably find one drunk and sweaty enough to have sex with them anyway.

I couldn't have - in fact, I didn't manage to - put it better myself.

I feel my point is being missed and now it's just just getting lost in a load of guff I'm not saying. I'd like to try and explain better, but I'm too busy watching a Chinese child prodigy playing a large white piano, accompanied by a man who's wearing so much make-up he looks like Max Headroom. Can anybody else have a stab at what I mean so I don't have to put any more effort in?

So what we've learned is that as long as no-one uses any of their cards either to withdraw cash or to pay for goods, then everyone should be ok.

Louisa, You're just not getting it. What I'm saying has absolutely nothing to do with gay men and women. Gay men are always delightful to women, on account of not being interested in shagging them. And vice versa.

Opening ceremonies have all been something of a let-down since this back in '84. The magic starts about a minute in.

Essentially, all men are idiots. Some just hide it better than others. I think that just about covers it.

It's not really a case of positive or negative. That's not the point. Every woman on the planet will suffered her fair share of (in varying amounts) overly direct, cheesy, obvious, predatory and sometimes unwanted advances from men who feel they're being sophisticated, smooth and the very embodiment of charm. If you're a straight man in a gay club, you get to feel what this feels like for yourself. Straight men should be forced to attend gays clubs so they can learn how rubbish they are. Who knows, it might even help them with the ladies.

No, that's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is: if (as a straight man) you go to a gay club, you get an insight into 'men' (all men, gay or straight) that you just won't see anywhere else.

Oh God. It's started. Tedious music blares. Glowsticks distributed to the crowd. Bits of uninteresting history are pointlessly illustrated by a load of people waving stuff and the same time. It's what a school play would look like if they drama teacher was given several million pounds. And an ecstacy tablet.

I don't think it's a matter of drunk/sweaty gay men or drunk/sweaty straight men. It's just men. Personally I think every straight man should be sent to a gay club as a matter of course, so they can see what men - ie themselves - are like. So they can realise what women have to put-up with and adjust their behaviour accordingly. Sorry, lads. But it's true.

cate Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > More cloning stuff........ > > I had a brand new ATM card for less than 5 weeks > before it was cloned. In that time, locally, I > used Sainsburys, Co-op, both ATM and shop, > Somerfield (once), Lidl (twice), HSBC ATM, > Poundstretchers (once), Iceland, Barclays ATM, > Lloyds Pharmacy, Londis AND the Texaco petrol > station. I can't remember where Londis is?? Once the Feds have followed-up these dozen or so leads, I imagine an arrest won't be far off.

Not exactly, Melbourne. The notes themselves will be 'grown' in the stomach (from semi-digested organic pasta) and then sent to the left leg for printing, before making their final journey down the left arm for emission via a narrow slit, just before the palm of your hand. All you'll have to do is 'think' your PIN number; although in emergencies (such as being too drunk to think) the cash can be accessed by keying-in a unique six letter password into a keypad located just below the scrotum. (The ladies will have their keypads in their handbags - for obvious reasons).

I'm afraid so, BN5. Double trouble. But there are advantages.. now she can do the washing up and put the bins out at the same time.

Of course in the future, we won't even need cards. All you'll need to do is hold your arm out level, raise the flat of your hand, and bank notes will shoot out of your wrist. And a receipt will come out of your ass. Mrs *Bob* got cloned in the last couple of days also.

Keef Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I'd rather just win the lotto and live in a pub > :-S Did you put this on your CV? (Probably under 'other interests')

A shorter answer would have been "there haven't been any".

I've never applied for a job or been to an interview, Madworld. In fact, I'm proud to say that my only sustained period of PAYE employment (at a parcel distribution warehouse) came to an end, sadly, after just one day. And that was 19 years ago.