*Bob*

I guess it makes me feel nostalgic .. and a bit old.

'Glasto'. It just sounds naff. It always did. It's hardly new as Titch says, but it's the universal, ubiquitous and insidious creep of the word into The Brand - along with the inevitable evolution of the festival - that irks. It's Hunter wellies, hitting refresh on a crashing ticketing page, an insurmountable fence, home counties students instead of plumbers from Leeds - and Cath Kidston pop-up tents. Anyway, who's playing Wimbo today anyway. "WIIIMBOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

I will everyone would stop calling it 'Glasto' though, as it makes me want to vomit.

The Stones have never really run on goodwill though - or needed to benefit from it. I'm feel both mild irritation by their position on this one - and begrudging respec'. In the words of Creme Brulee, 'it's a shit business' - and power to any artist who can call the shots in such ways. I Will no doubt check 'em out. I've seen more bands at Glastonbury on telly in the last few years of not going than I ever did in the fifteen years of attendance.

???? Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > On the few times I venture out into the land of > late nights nowadays, the sad sight of many 50 and > 40 somethings (mainly blokes) off their nuts on > pills or coke takes me comfortably back to repeats > of Morse and a bit of online poker on a Saturday > night Remember it's you who went to the wrong place - not them.

I wish they wouldn't be so damned cheerful about the whole thing - it doesn't befit the news they're delivering. "Goooood moooorning, Sir! Lovely day! Just to let you know that I've run over your cat.."

The blue arrow of doom! Sorry to say Cosmos that it would appear they've identified a supply pipe leak, and the leak is thought to be on your side (so your responsibility) rather than Thames. It's pointless looking for signs of obvious dampness.. The 'leak' can be minuscule and still classed as a leak. Even a drip, somewhere along the pipe, is still a leak.

Thames are always sending 'unidentified' people and companies to do stuff. The blokes with the listening rods creep round (usually at night, when it's quiet) hanging around drains with thei ear trumpets like some sort of deluded drain-spotters. They employ private companies who knock on your door on spec and ask to 'have a look' down yer sewer with no warning or formal communication from Thames. Every looks really dodgy when there's no need for it to be so..

I called Thames over a very similar incident. Unfortunately, it turned out that we did have a leak. A tiny leak. And that tiny leak cost us ?500. Have a look on the pavement outside your house for any signs of paint sprayed.. Usually an arrow pointing to you or to the street. If e arrow points to you it's bad news.

Looks like it's just going to be Murray playing himself in the final this year. Still don't feel 100% confident he can pull-off a victory though.

If you're going somewhere warm and sunny, you could chuck a bucket of water on them - just when they least expect or want it.

For a killer plant of doom that's been around for over a century, you'd expect the whole of the UK to be submerged in 25ft of knotweed with only chimney pots poking out of the top and people gasping for air. It's been a mortgage pantwetter but that's starting to relax now. What's everyone supposed to do? The stuff is all over the place when you start looking for it - and gardens are so close together it's often impossible to deal with without a concerted effort. There's ongoing research to find an easier way to get shot of it - liable to come to fruition sometime soon.

Lame but harmless. Agressively abusing a potential customer in front of several thousand other potential customers - when everyone can see what your business is called - is complete madness though.

You might need to sort the brickwork out on top too. New pot, cowl fitting. Muck about on giant ladder? Hire scaffold? Jackhammer out the existing backfilled fireplace. There's the liner to pay for - ?20/m? The closure plate, couple of fittings. Bags of vermucillite to fill the flue after the lining's gone down. Hopefully the liner won't encounter any unusual angles or problems en route down meaning it might get stuck or you get a house full of 100 year-old lime mortar and soot. Re-fit hearth and render nicely. Then there's the hetas certificate for ?45. And of course VAT accounts for 20%.. Maybe just get a couple of dudes in..

That's Plumbr you're thinking of

I find the 'fixed price' policy annoying. I believe D t D offers the same. Let's be honest, it's built on the knowledge there are loads of piss-easy jobs which will take no time at all and allow you to fleece your clients for the privilege. The fleeting reassurance you feel - that it's only going to cost you X pounds - turns into irritation when you realise how easy the job is - and that they knew it was going to be a cinch before they arrived. Personally I'd feel like a bit of a git if that was me. By contrast, a couple of the plumbers I have used will sometimes say (after a brief description over the phone) 'look, this job's a piece of cake - you could do it yourself really if you wanted to' - before giving me the option to have them come out and charge me ?60 or whatever to do it if I can't be arsed. That's why the work for those people is ongoing - and they get to do the bigger jobs when they arise.

'Blendr' is also a terrible name. Whereas Grindr evokes thoughts of dirty instant gratification accompanied by cool music and half a pill, Blendr somehow implies inept apologetic fumbling by balding, cack-handed divorcees after a cheap pinot g.

Anecdotally, I had a girlfriend through most of University, but was a complete tart. An interesting observation, looking back, was that a good number of grrls seemed keener to strike-up a occasional shag-buddy type relationships with someone who was 'attached' - because there would (for obvious reasons) be no kiss-and-tell factor. I dispute the genralised notion that men are just out for a shag and girls weep into their pillows awaiting hearts and flowers. Some are, some aren't. Some do, some don't. I'm not sure I'd find Grindr appealing even if it were an option. There's something about going out *knowing* you're going to get some that would knock the 'who knows what might happen' fun out of an evening. I suspect the ease of it - dial 1 for sex - also perpetuates compulsive and addictive behaviour.

The worst one is Flickr. Been on that one for years - not a sniff.

Have you had a look yourself, ????? If its just the rainwater drain and it's close to the gutter downpipe, chances are all you'll have to do if lift the manhole cover and pull out a few handfuls of decomposed leaves n stuff underneath, then chuck a couple of buckets of water down the drain with the cover off so you see it's running clearly. Five minutes. There are a few dudes around who charge a flat fee to unblock.. ?75 or more - and stress this is a flat fee 'whatever needs doing'.. Though you may feel a pang of irritation when they lift the cover, remove a handful of muck and leave in five minutes with ?75.

Excellent, Reggie. So did your daughter commit suicide too as well then ?!!!!

(Taken from) another fine 'documentary' from C4. Straight out of the "let's find some people with deep psychological childhood trauma who ideally need councilling and stick 'em up for peaktime ridicule. It's ok as long as the voiceover and music are done with a straight face."

Also, if anyone knows how turn base metal into gold this information would also be appreciated.

I can try.. but will my high-pitched, thick West Country accent exude the necessary authority?

I suspect, a campaign specifically hoping that the person having a bonfire - as we speak - reads this post.