HonaloochieB

Keep A Knocking - Mott The Hoople

Narnia Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > > > How does this explain anything? I don't > understand.It's no different to you writing 'them > lines' instead of 'those lines'. What is your > point? Those lines was belongful to me. personal. So them was me own, so these lines was mine and I writ them so those went from someone else's those to my them. Simplication itself as Plato once remarked. Or was it Sophocles? Quod erat demonstrandum as Popeye once had it. Edited because I disspelled 'demonstrandum', to leave it in statue would have demined my point and make me look knowledgephobic

eric007 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > their collecting for the homeless have some > empathy in your middle class world. You're point almost won me over, Eric, until I spotted you're use of 'their' instead of 'They're'. I'm common as muck, me, but even I wouldn't f*ck sh!t up along them lines.

I think I'd prefer it to remain The Uplands, if it has to change, then call it the P.G. Wodehouse. The 'selected' Sky Sports games, don't make me chuckle sir, my lips are chapped. As one of the few pubs around that has resisted Murdoching and the subsequent influx of bastard`idiots every time there's some sort of sporting challenge going on, I find it something of a haven. Apologies if my language is intemperate, and I can asssure you some of my best friends are bastard idiots.

Could it Be Jerusalem? - The Silver Jews

PeckhamRose Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > pines for the magical days of the Tunnel Club > Greenwich. > You really had to be sharp. The audience were the > stars. > Well apart from those on the stage. > Bring back the Swede. Aaah, but what of Chris The Piss, a man who decided that clutching a lit firework in his arse cheeks would amuse an audience. An audience largely comprised of driters, stumblers, drunks and football fans. He was right, it amused us to the point of choking on our beer. We will not see his like again. And that's fine.

Dodo1 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > We had them last night sent him away but by the > sounds of it my neighbour bought something! Your neighbours bought something noisy? Are these youths now trading in, for example brass instruments? A saxomophone? A trombone? Maybe a trumpet? If they come round then buy off 'em 'specially if the 'axe' in question is by Boosey & Hawkes. You can start playing modern jazz, straight away. Unless of course your fingers are palsied, in which case you can go up a notch to freeform. Jaaazz, that is. Yeeeaah.

legalbeagle Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > R&A hits the nail on the head. > > A=C. B=C. Therefore A=B. > > Or to put it another way: > > Fish are mortal. Men are mortal. Therefore fish > are men. > > Discuss. The Codfather? The Codfather 11? The Codfather 111? These are undeniable truths, if 'twere possible to make verity tangible, then such would be inviolate. Mind, there's always Codfellas...

*Bob* Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I can appreciate that most comedians would prefer > to be able to ply their trade without some > tiresome knob (who thinks he ought to be the one > on stage) grunting and screeching from seven rows > back every two minutes. > > But on the other hand, comedians (and comedy > venues) usually tend to attract the type of > audience they (largely) deserve - so shouldn't the > person on stage be able (within reason) to handle > that audience - assuming they're any good? YOUR MUM! So, if Thatcher and Nick Griffin had a kid, would Richard Littlejohn be the godfather? Or Kelvin McKenzie? Or the Hitchens brother who tips up on any and every talk/discussion show, looking and (I imagine) sounding like a defensive, frightened and aggresive vole? Or Melanie Phillips?

Come Here - QT Jones & The Possibilities

Ted Max Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > "HonaloochieB, Your bacon is beautifully cooked. > The bread is soft and contrasts with the crispness > of the bacon. Buuut, I could have done with more > sauce to hold it all together. Such a shame." *Takes head, tips to one side while pursing lips and seasons with a promise on his father's gravy and every curry goat (as opposed to that useless white trash goat curry) yet unborn to hold it all together in the next round* > > "Mmmmyyeahhhh, I like it. It's bacon, and then > it's bread, and then it's the tangy finish of the > HP. You, my friend, have the potential to go a > long way in this competition." *takes one head and two shoulders. Allows shoulders to drop while simultaneously inclining head back on the vertical to approximately 51 gegrees. Seasons with desperate promise to do better if FFJTC and FFGTDB keep him on. Agrees with FFJTC and FFGTDB that he'd applied far too much dignity and swears on the memory of the apochryphal Fannie Craddock story, that he'll never go down that road again. Especially not on his journey. Settles his hash*

lpool Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Just called. Said no and he went away. Wonder if > they ever read this forum? Where was his insistence? His aggression? The bloody minded, and if necessary, obscene verbal abuse? Honestly, youths selling overpriced dishcloths door-to-door these days? Not a ruddy clue. Don't know they're born, half of 'em.

Oh, and any quotes from Fat Face Greg the Delivery Boy which contain the word 'yummy' will be spurned. Yes, of course they have to be, it's not a word, just a noise that happens when he drags the spoon from his sucking maw. Not his fault of course, but, no 'yummy'.

???? Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > dead cat bounce Can't imagine why you're bringing Fall b-sides into this Quids. Aaah.

Season Of The Witch - Jethro Tull

Just a thread to drop in the critiques of Fat Face John the Cook and Fat Face Greg the Delivery Boy. Tonight I particularly enjoyed FF John informing some poor mare that her dessert, which had a lemon curd aspect to it "wasn't complicated enough". I was impressed with the way that the lady in question put her head to one side and gave a tight, brave smile. However I would have been far more impressed had she vaulted over the table and kneed the bastard in the nads. Oh, come on, it's not as if he doesn't deserve it. Seriously. Anyway Fat Face Greg's turn next. Unless you know different.

Isn't It Time? - The Babys

SteveT Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Recently a 'green' shopping bag from Sainsbugs was > sold on ebay for 1500 quid as they had sold out > and no more production was likely. SteveT, I have not seen the auction you speak of, but, and I mean this in the pleasantest possible way, if you're asking me to believe that a Sainsbury shopping bag sold for one and a half grand, then you're asking me to believe the most gigantic arse bollocks nonsense since Miss McGuire told me my thumbs would loosen if I carried on winking. She was wrong, I've winked all my life and my opposable thumbs are intact and functioning. But surely SteveT, that was just a flight of fancy on your part? Edited, to correct the spelling of the word 'would' and not the word 'wink'. I mean, go figure.

Sleeping On The Boss's Time - The Top Decks

ABC, I literally put my hand in my chest to squeeze my heart for your gesture. Finest sympathies.

amyw Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > we get them fairly regularly, they have a knack of > coming when i am expecting my sister and her > husband. they are always rude and unpleasant. i > dread the abuse, its horrible. sweet-chicken - > thats awful about your planters! Knack? Expecting? Sister? Brother-in-law? Personally Amy, I'd stop inviting the bleeders round. They sound like a jinx to me. Go round their gaff and see how they like them dishcloth sellers bein' all up in their faces an' shit. That'll settle their hash real good. See if it don't. Of course if you're on good terms with sis and bro'n'law then just treat the above advice as though it was the ranting of somewhat gined-up lager drinker and not the counsel of a trained professional. Your choice.

OK, but I think in the memory of Samuel K. Ampong, who may or may not be late, let's jump over this thing. I don't think it's too much to say that at the end of the day it all comes down to a crappy dinner an' a naggin' from the missus. Seriously, it's the way Samuel K. Ampong would've wanted it.

HAL9000 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > karter Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > i wonder how hal saw it on ebay tho. > > Nothing sinister - Holy Mary that Hal's quite sinister. or particularly clever - Mother of God he's terrible clever. the OP > contains enough details to enable anyone with an > eBay account and familiarity with eBay's powerful > search engine to find it easily. Jesus, he has familiarity wit' a search engine, 'tis the work of the divil, he's doin' the divil's work I tell you.

ABC, for a period during the latish 70s, the New Musical Express letters page used to get communications from a fellow who called himself Samuel K. Ampong. His missives were all about 'Beatles Band' and he would lament their demise and compare the groups of the day unfavourably to them. I assumed he was a satirist and deliberately jolted sense, syntax and grammar to have a bit of crack, a right old giggle and a snicker up the sleeve at everyone's expense. Come on ABC, admit it, you are the genius behind Samuel K. Ampong. J'accuse.

SeanMacGabhann Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Domitianus - never knowingly under-souled Sean Lewis?