Starter - Swan pate. Fish course - Smoked swan rubbed all over with ancovies and sliced really really thin and called something like 'mockerel' or 'phake'. Main course - Roast swan with swan fat roast potatos and seasonal vegetables. Dessert - Swan syllabub with swan's feet as cutlery. For vegetarians and RSPB members the swan will be replaced with carrots or something made out of nuts. Or cheese. Keep it to yourselves though, I believe revealing it in advance is tantamount to treason.