cashewnut

I'm after some advice on visiting York with a toddler. We're spending most of next week up there, staying in a self-catering apartment near the city centre. We don't know the town well at all, just decided to explore the UK while longer journeys/planes are such a pain. Can anyone give advice on things to do there with a nearly-2 year old? Places to visit, places to eat, good playgrounds etc etc. We do have a car but would like to minimise driving as much as possible. Thank you!!!

Sounds familiar! We always tried to time car journeys with sleep times, although that often ended in failure as we'd slow down slightly for a bit of traffic and suddenly eyes open, and not long before screaming resumes... Some days were better than others and it got a bit better with a forward facing car seat (although weirdly we started to get more vomiting at that point). You could try some kid-friendly music, although 4 months might be a bit early... or sitting in the back trying to cheer him up - I did that quite a lot until we got a forward-facing seat. To be honest we tried (and still try) to avoid long car journeys, although at coming up to 2 things have improved quite a bit. Sorry that's not very helpful but feeling your pain...

A very popular one that is very specific to toddlers is Taming Toddlers. It is quite good for : giving you a sense of perspective, tips on dealing with different types of behaviour, and seeing things through the child's eyes, although gets a bit repetitive and some of the advice seems a bit out of date. http://www.amazon.co.uk/New-Toddler-Taming-bestselling-parenting/dp/0091902584/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1374261251&sr=8-1&keywords=taming+toddlers This one is aimed at parents of slightly older kids (2-8) but I found that it set out the general principles of managing behaviour really well. More useful in the longer run I think. (I started reading it at a similar point I think.) http://www.amazon.co.uk/Incredible-Years-Carolyn-Webster-Stratton/dp/1892222043/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374261373&sr=1-1&keywords=the+incredible+years Edited to add that the second one is The Incredible Years mentioned in a few posts below.

Sidmouth is lovely. I know of elderly people who have moved there partly as it is easy to get around. There are hills towards the edge of the town so they would have to make sure they weren't staying up one of those. www.visitsidmouth.co.uk

I used to climb regularly at The Castle in Finsbury Park and at the Arch in London Bridge (now closed but the owners opened a new wall in Bermondsey). The Castle says ?7 for under 18s (it's more for adults but not as much as ?20). Most places you can bulk buy entries to pay less or get a season pass of some kind. The Castle is excellent for both kids and experienced climbers but quite far away (lots of lessons there too for kids I think). The wall at crystal palace would be good for kids too - although it's much smaller it may be a lot less crowded. I think the space at Brixton Rec would not be as nice for kids (it's on a kind of narrow high up balcony) but maybe worth a try if it works out much cheaper. If you don't have equipment you would have to pay to hire it, but kids might be able to get away without proper climbing shoes and if they stick to the lower 'bouldering' routes rather than roped routes you could get away without harnesses perhaps? It might be worth giving a couple of places a call. If you want to try Crystal Palace I'd contact the climbing people direct rather than the sports centre. http://www.high-sports.co.uk/climbing_site.php?site=crystalpalace&section=home

You might have already decided against this but I use a wee ride plus back panniers. Never have any problems with balance even carrying laptop on one side. You can get a spare bar for the wee ride if you want to both use it. See this thread for advantages/disadvantages: http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?29,1046867,1047428

Just a word of caution for you on stopping suddenly. Most people I have spoken to had no problems when stopping but I found this to be an extremely uncomfortable process (even though I did it gradually). I wouldn't be afraid to express a little if you are in discomfort. So long as this is less each day your milk will still dry up even if it takes a bit longer. edited: sorry crossed posts with RenF to say the same thing (for the second time in two days I believe!)

I would see stories as one among all these other influences. And I wouldn't say that you need to be able to analyse them for them to influence your way of thinking (perhaps the opposite?). I would see the impact in terms of people's emotional response to things as much as individual decisions. For example yearning for a 'fairytale white wedding'. But again I'm not saying that's purely the result of reading too many fairy tales. Just that stories like these may be part of the mass of social/media influence that affects the way we think/act. I hope that you are right though!

redjam - I do remember knowing the Cinderella story but I don't remember it being a favourite of mine or in the household. I think your suggestion is that we read it as children and it hasn't influenced us as adults? That goes back to my earlier point that I do think people are influenced by this type of thing, and also my question to others - do you think your daughters'/sons' attitudes aren't affected by what they read in books, or do you think this doesn't matter? I think the implication from most of the comments is that you don't think they are affected?

In the end I don't think the question about whether girls and boys will "revert to type" in the toys they used can be settled by quoting anecdotes, but I just wanted to point out that there were counterexamples. This is obviously going to be hugely affected by the other influences on a child. As for the point about over-thinking, are people saying that: - fairy tales/stories are just a fun part of a child's life and don't have any influence on their attitudes, or - fairy tales/stories do affect children's attitudes in life but that's not worth worrying about, or - they just don't care one way or another?

I'm with the people who are worried about this. (Following this thread earlier but I'd forgotten my password so couldn't contribute from work.) I can't see how discussing what's in a book would put children off reading. It doesn't have to be heavy-handed, or limited to situations where there are dubious messages coming from the story. Surely it adds to the interest/interactivity of reading together. I'm also not convinced by these stories of kids who didn't have any guns going out and playing with sticks etc. My brother didn't have any guns at home and he never seemed to miss them or make do with other objects for violent role play. I wasn't given dolls/pink stuff by my parents and didn't crave them or have any kind of princess-rebellion. I can see how an explicit ban could be counter-productive but you do have a certain amount of control over what's in the house right? (Maybe I'm being naive as I don't have experience beyond toddler-dom yet) And I think it's easy to be complacent about what impact these things might have. I have often been amazed/depressed by the attitude of many of my well-educated ambitious friends towards marriage. You would almost think they'd been brought up reading stories where every female role model married a prince and lived happily ever after. edited to add - crossed posts with RenF there

Definitely self-catering. As well as more relaxed meal times you're more likely to have a separate space to go into in the evenings while the little ones are asleep. Our one experience in a hotel room was not much fun! Don't have any tips on places to visit sorry but look forward to seeing what other people come up with. Just remembered - have a look on here if you haven't already: http://www.babyfriendlyboltholes.co.uk/

I remember reading in a New Scientist Q&A column a long time ago that bleach doesn't kill the fungus, just 'bleaches' it. You need a fungicide to kill it off completely and I assume that's what's in the HG spray. You can also get it from Dulwich DIY on Lordship Lane.

I think we stopped swaddling at around that age - 3-4 months. We dropped it really gradually - one arm at a time, one nap at a time, then overnight. We didn't have any trouble.

Cool!! http://www.monstrum.dk/en

I don't think there are any reasonably priced baby clothes on offer in ED. I wouldn't pay non-sale prices in any of the shops I've been in for day-to-day clothes. Personally I'd love to see a shop that had a little second hand section in it too,

Hi there, We have the Weeride. I'd agree with most of what SebC said. It feels safe and sociable and seems to be better for little ones to be able to look out from. However I find it quite uncomfortable to cycle with, and I have to lower my saddle to be able to stop and start safely every time I use the seat. I'm quite small though, and my husband finds that he can put the seat far enough forward for it not to interfere too much. I think for short journeys it's fine (and we do use it very regularly). For longer cycles it would be a problem unless you're quite tall I think. I didn't have too much trouble fitting it but it's a bit fiddly. If you want to pop round and see how it fits you're welcome - could be a problem on some bikes. Tammy

A three month old is probably a bit little to get much out of any of the activity groups. The Bumps and Babes group at the Goose Green Community Centre is a quite nice one as you can just go along, get a cup of tea, and have a chat to the others there. Cheap compared to other groups too ?1 or ?1.50? I presume it's still running - haven't been for a while. http://www.nct.org.uk/branches/brixton-dulwich-and-streatham/first-aid-courses/nearly-new-sales/bumps-n-babes

Hopefully you have cleared the blockage by now but I found a really useful explanation of how to massage a blocked duct a while back on the Dr Sears website. I found this to be quite effective when I had repeated problems with blocked ducts (none as bad as you describe). It does involve being quite focussed for a little while though - as others have said you might need someone to look after the little ones. Am working today or I'd offer to come over and help out! From Dr Sears: Try a pressure massage on the area of your breast that is swollen and painful because of a plugged duct. This may help to loosen the plug. With pressure massage, you do not actually move your hand over the skin as you would with a normal massage. You simply press more and more firmly with the heel of your hand to move the plug in the duct down closer to the nipple. To do pressure massage, start at the edge of the lumpy area closest to your chest wall. Apply pressure to that area with the heel of your hand to the point just before it becomes too painful. Hold the pressure at that level until the pain eases off. Then increase the pressure again, (without moving your hand) and hold it until the pain eases. Continue to gradually increase pressure at that same site until you are pressing as hard as you can. Then pick your hand up, move it down toward your nipple about a half inch, and repeat the pressure massage in this area. Continue moving your hand a half inch and repeating the massage until you get all the way down to the nipple. You may see the dried milk come out from an opening in your nipple. Even if the plug doesn't actually come out, you will at least have dislodged it and moved it toward the nipple so that when baby goes to the breast and sucks, he will remove it with his suction. Always put baby to the breast on the plugged side first, when his sucking will be the strongest. http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/breastfeeding/common-problems/plugged-milk-ducts Edited to add: Just thinking that your description sounds rather unusual. If it doesn't clear soon I think you should get a doctor to take a look (last think you want to do I know). I have never had an abscess but I know it's a possible complication of mastitis. Sorry I'm not medically trained and don't want to imply any expert knowledge - but you might need to consult someone. http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Breast-abscess/Pages/Introduction.aspx

I used an Avent single electric once or twice a day for quite a few months, then tried a double - the Ameda Lactaline. I now really regret not getting one of those in the first place as it was SO much faster. It was also easier to used as the heavy motor is not attached to the funnel (you express on one side while feeding on the other without too much problem.

Oh good thanks SJ. If anyone can confirm that from first hand experience even better - even the departure boards in the stations don't seem to be reliable at the moment!

Does anyone have an update on how the trains are likely to be for the way home? (I'll be travelling from Victoria to Peckham Rye)

Weeeell... no words of wisdom but you can practise on our toddler if you like, sounds great! cashew (your trusty viola player ;-)

Not a short term solution but there are nurseries with longer opening hours. Bright Horizons (in the Sainsbury's car park) is open 7-7.

Thanks for these, some great suggestions. There must also be some places near the line through Blackfriars from Peckham Rye... ? The Wellcome Collection near King's Cross? (I seem to remember they have a rather exciting collection of forceps. Maybe in a few years time...)