Smiler

I am prejudiced and find all clowns sinister! Magician maybe?

Hi ladies, I had a postnatal thing where about three or four weeks after giving birth came out in quite a nasty, red, scaly, itchy rash all-over my face and body for a few days. The GP said weird skin things could happen after having a baby as well as in pregnancy. Had checks etc. and was prescribed the old type of piriton (which is OK to use while breastfeeding) and diprobase cream. Seems quite funny now, but at the time it nearly tipped me over the edge! Stephn - hope went well at the docs and that they check you out thoroughly (if you get sent to Kings take drinks, snacks and reading matter as it can take a while).

I need to moan about tummy bugs. My little girl (nearly 2) had a nasty one for 7 days at the start of Feb, which I caught though not badly, then the weekend before last was sick for a day, but got better quickly, and now has another (or the same?) but, 3 days now, can't keep anything down and is really lethargic. Have had her checked out by the GP and hoping she gets better soon. Thank god the washing machine is still working! Classic that the ED bug (or one of them) is now in NZ.

Hiya, wouldn't worry about it at this point, as long as you are feeling well and your checks at the midwife go OK etc. Would recommend avoiding scales and full-length mirrors for some time after the birth! How quickly women lose the weight really seems to vary. I lost most of mine within around 9 months (trying hard with diet and exercise after the initial 3-months, and breastfeeding, which really helped, though made me hungry), but then slacked off and put on a stone again - argh! When you're ready there're threads on here about post-natal weight loss with lots of good tips.

Ooh, the days of expressing - a friend still laughs about the time she came round for dinner and I, previously a prude, whipped out the breast pump after pudding! I never managed to get vast quantities or manage it every day, but it was useful - stored it in the freezer and gave her a bottle of expressed milk every other day from around 3 weeks - sometimes I expressed for the feeds that were missed for the bottle. Sounds like it's going well for you now!

I agree with Loz that free school meals for all would not be a good use of public money. A much bigger issue for me is the variable quality of local primary schools and the admissions criteria.

At present, the admissions criteria for primary schools in Southwark seem to mean that if your closest school is one that you would not choose (e.g. in special measures) there is virtually no chance of getting your child into another local school, except on the basis of faith (a whole other argument). Would this change if a labour council was elected? Further, central government has made it difficult for councils to set up new community (non Academy / faith schools), which is not helping the situation in East Dulwich. Could you comment on this? Agree with others that free school meals for all in Southwark would be a waste of money. Having free school meals may indeed be a stigma at present - but kids will always find reasons to be mean to each other, and spending money making everyone the same when it comes to meals is not going to solve that issue. And thankfully it is not up to the government to determine what goes in kids' lunchboxes! > Education locally, and school places in > particular. As I'm sure you know, there are many > families with young children in East Dulwich and > it's created a big squeeze on school places; I > don't think the council has adequately prepared > for the changing demographics in the area. The > government however has promised an extra ?12 > million for new school classrooms in Southwark. > Where exactly in the borough this is spent is up > to the council, and making sure that the Dulwich > area gets its fair share is a priority of ours. > > In addition, we are pledging free school meals for > all Primary School children if Labour takes > control of the council. I think this is a really > positive step and will benefit children and > families across Southwark. >

I never wore a uniform at school either (though obviously branded stuff was not allowed). Think that most schools now have one - or at least sweatshirts etc. - as uniform is generally seen as "a good thing". I find it sad, it was nice having choice, though agree that no decisions about what to wear in the morning must be a plus!

This thread makes me green with envy and want to weep! Parenting must be such a different experience without sleep deprivation. The question of whether sleeping well (or not) is a matter of luck / the child's personality or what the parents do is something that I have thought about a lot in 22 months of sleepless angst! (All OK now though, touch wood, lovely peaceful nights). Would love to believe that it is all just down to luck, but do suspect that there are helpful / unhelpful things that parents do. But could only do my best, try those things that I was comfortable with and not those that didn't seem right for us. If we ever have another bad sleeper there are things I would do differently and would also try not to beat myself up as much.

Also hate dolly pushchairs, but was given one by a friend and she absolutely loves it (though often gets bored with it half-way through a walk). Likewise a minature brush / mop set. We have a hideous plastic dolls house from ELC with lots of little people, pets and beds, chairs etc. Before bathtime she puts the people to bed, round a little table to eat etc. etc. Little bags, e.g. Miffy, which she calls a handbag and fills up with random stuff - loves to take it when we go out. Drawing, playdough - the requests are getting more and more difficult to draw / make! Love the smell of playdough. Duplo zoo with animals etc. Bubbles in the bath, though the bubble liquid inevitably always gets tipped into the bath. Lining up little soft toys and jabbering at them / bossing them around. Stripping clothes off dollies. Quite fancy a basic train set. My friend's three-year-old has a swanky wooden Thomas one that my friend and I just couldn't get to all fit together, we were over ambitious with our track design - the little boy played with other things while we spent all afternoon messing about with it and failed to make a connecting track, he was unimpressed! Playing with my clothes / handbags / shoes / costume jewelry - am v.excited about the concept of a dressing up box! Her favourite things at the moment, however, are not toys but naughty stuff like flushing the loo repeatedly (especially when I am in the shower and can't stop her), opening and closing the kitchen bin, emptying the metal waste-paper bin and rolling it around the room, and climbing / jumping on things, especially the big dining table as has a view out of the window and enables playing with the (lethal) roman blind cords. Argh!

This programme (and even this thread) continues to completely freak me out 'cos of the pain and unpredictability of childbirth! Yes, the waterbirth was amazing - the baby's head was just hanging there in the water calmly for what seemed like ages and the mother was so serene. Admired the mum who had previously had a C-section, she was brave, especially given her (as Vickster has said) complete tool of a bloke. In addition to berating her for attempting natural labour and being negative when she was in the midst of it and the midwife had nipped out, he said "millions of other women do this, what's wrong with you, do you have a low pain threshold or something?" (she hadn't even moaned about the pain) and moaned that the midwives weren't listening to him and how long HE had been waiting around. GRRRR! But did warm to him a bit more at the end when he was all emotional and the baby was initially unwell - terrifying. The girl whose baby was in the SCBU was really articulate and honest.

Am sceptical having recently read "Bad Science" by Ben Goldacre. But each to their own!

Hiya, we liked our Bee, nippy and narrow for getting around the shops and on buses, light etc. But our daughter did seem squashed in it at 13-14 months. The brakes also went (though you can order a bracket from Bugaboo to correct this - apparently is a design flaw on ones made before a certain date). We switched to a MacLaren Quest, which of course is v.light and folds up etc. but really don't like it, mainly 'cos it's a bumpy ride, rattly wheels. OK for a toddler but not as comfy for littler ones. Probably the same with all strollers. Good luck with the bidding on ebay!

The 436 bus goes all the way from Camberwell Green to Paddington station, takes a long time though.

sophiesofa Wrote: > I think it's great that he's on here and I don't > think I'm the only one. I agree, it is good to have councillors (and people like the station manager) on the forum.

Crystal 7, have been there! Argh.

More man-bashing from me: working late/hard doesn't mean that men should get out of helping with kids at night! Mr Smiler similarly worked/still works v.long hours, which was another reason I didn't push him to do any nights 'til I was on my last legs - but with a small child men should expect to have to make changes in their working lives (after all, we do, much more!) If he is working at home, for example, he could settle the baby if he is up anyway at night to work. Or if he is in the office all the time in the week perhaps he could help at the weekends so you can catch up then. I have become militant about this after a lot of thought / fuming with my female friends and family. Sometimes think that women do a lot to protect their men and that the men don't always reciprocate! It doesn't help that employers can be unreasonable and that the economic climate means everyone feels insecure about their jobs. Rant over. You are not a rubbish mum! Some stuff is just not within our control. Maybe our little ones are just the party animals - mine will happily party til 10 or 11pm at weddings, family gatherings etc., literally on the dancefloor - and in their teens will be out til the small hours. You can bet it'll be the dads waiting up then (I intend to be sleeping like a baby)!

How exciting! Childcare is the biggest expense after rent or mortgage - nursery is ?55 - ?60 a day (ours is ?750 a month for 3 days a week), think childminder costs fairly similar and nannies or even nanny shares much more expensive. Although I still think is economically a good idea to return to work as will have more money, even though most of salary goes on childcare for a few years. We have saved by staying in our 2-bed flat rather than moving to a bigger place. It may be cheaper to continue renting rather than buying - and if you buy and want to stay there for a few years, school catchment areas become an issue, whereas renting is more flexible. As others have said, baby stuff can be acquired for not a lot, especially in ED!

Hi ladies, Many sympathies snowboarder. My daughter is nearly two and has only just started sleeping through some nights, and we still have some bad ones. Sorry, know you would like "success stories", but I do have a couple of ideas. After a lot of thought I packed in breastfeeding at around your stage, as I just couldn't cope with the bf hormones (which really whacked me out) AND sleepless nights, and also felt that she was hungry at night/ getting a bit skinny (though she liked her solids). The decision was for me rather than her, but I reasoned that it wouldn't benefit anyone for me to be exhausted, depressed and ill. I started by giving her a big bottle of the dreaded formula before bed, which did improve things somewhat. She has always been and remains a total milk fiend! Co-slept for a while longer, which has pros and cons. If I have any advice, it would be to ensure that your partner pulls his weight at night and does at least a couple of nights a week to give you a break. It is very hard, not to mention bad for health and sanity, to be sleep deprived for long periods. I originally had this idea that because I wasn't at work I should do all of the nights (and of course the breast-feeding was also a factor), but really regretted it as I hadn't realised just how hard and relentless night-wakings (and looking after a baby all day) are. My husband was sprightly and going for ten-mile runs, going for nights out, looking good, while I was a total zombie wreck, and realised that this wasn't quite right! It took a few arguments in our case, but was worth it. If you can, on the nights he has the baby, go to a different room - away from the baby - to sleep, or get him to stay in the nursery. Do not, whatever you hear, get up! You may be lying there awake sometimes, but at least your body is resting. We had a rule that he would come to me if he needed help, I wouldn't go to them. Getting a couple of better nights sleep each week made a big difference to me, and my husband also came up with some good ideas about improving her sleep, which he then implemented (he had her for the first few nights when we withdrew milk in the night, for example, and changed the bedtime routine). I was just too exhausted to do this stuff and would have cracked when she cried! Also agree with Fuschia that it can be stressful to think in terms of what the baby "should" be doing re. sleep - I shifted to a more "what will be will be" attitude and it made it a little easier to handle. There WILL be a time when you will sleep again! Best wishes.

SELDOC itself will have a service manager. The GP surgery may just refer you to SELDOC anyway. Think it is the primary care trust that commissions out-of-hours GP services, not the GP practices.

Gardening types - when might this year's daffodils start to appear?

Interesting info re. library stock. I have always found the stock really good, they often have some of the latest titles, and there is a good inter-library loans system throughout Southwark.

At 14 I knew lots of people at school who were in relationships, some of which were sexual relationships, often with boys who were several years older. Understand from friends of mine with much younger siblings that this is even more the case now. When I was 16 I went out with a 21-year-old parents'-nightmare for a little while, my Mum was beside herself, I didn't understand it at the time, but still makes me cringe looking back! Reckon he wouldn't have appealed so much if they hadn't disapproved so much though. At 14, relationships are unlikely to be completely "innocent", but to me it would seem unreasonable to have a total ban. Maybe better to discuss sex, boundaries, curfews etc. I would rather know what is going on, even if I didn't like it!

Get registered with one of them quickly, or you may not have a choice. There is also the Lanes (based at Dulwich Medical Centre), who do home and hospital births.

The programme completely terrifies me - the pain and anxieties of giving birth. Have never been through proper "natural" labour (only early labour and a C-section), and worry about how much it could hurt and losing it, like the young woman who was screeching etc.(scary when the heart-rate went down). Her bloke seemed sweet and in need of some confidence-boosting. Loved the moaning diabetic lady.