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Are they offering the jab to all children, or just children with health conditions etc?

Glad that they are letting partners stay at Kings now, mine begged to stay with me and promised to be silent but was kicked out. The worst bit for me was being alone the night after the birth and the one after that as the staff didn't help and were unfriendly - though in retrospect it would've helped if I had been a bit more assertive in asking for help. Personally I think that the ratio of midwives to births is key, which is why some of the local midwifery services are great, people get a dedicated midwife. These services are not available everywhere.

What services are provided at the hospital at present?

Think that there seem to be two philosophies about sleep. The first is that parents can't control babies'/toddlers' sleep - they'll do what they will do, and you just cope however you can. The second is that certain approaches (some discussed above in others' posts, Gina Ford, Baby Whisperer, Elizabeth Pantley etc.) can affect their sleep, the implication being that there are things that can be done and that one is doing something wrong if the child doesn't sleep well. It is so hard when you're knackered and have that hit-by-a-brick, hungover feeling every morning that the thought that it may be your own doing is really upsetting. Still haven't decided what I think. I do wish, though, that I'd encouraged my husband help in the night from a much earlier stage, as it is very, very hard to deal with by yourself night-in-night-out.

Fully sympathise with fellow sleep-deprived Mums. In 20 months, our daughter had only slept through the night three times. Late to bed (8pm), many wake-ups each night, unpredictable times, before and after midnight. We were partly co-sleeping and I am very much in the avoid-crying / respond quickly camp. In the last two weeks there has been a major change, led by my OH, who'd been nagging me for months to try a new approach. First we cut out milk at night (lots crying for 2 nights, then OK). Then we made her go to sleep in her own cot and stay there when she woke up - we went into the room and soothed her, then lay down on a single bed at the other end of the room, but didn't pick her up or bring her into bed. We had one night with a couple of solid hours crying - one hour before bed and one from 2.30am - 3.30am, then the next night she slept through from 8pm to 5.30am, settling herself within a few minutes in between when she woke up. This has basically continued, all-night sleep til 5.30 or later, with a blip this week as she's been ill (though is still staying in her cot). I am amazed and wish had agreed to try it earlier. Think it has helped that she is now of an age where she can talk and understand language, so we explain to her that she sleeps in her cot, give her lots of praise in the morning for doing so etc. Really hope we have turned a corner.

My brother's room was a pit, and there were years and years of arguments and parental stress about it. Reckon best to shut the door as gwod suggests - peer pressure likely to sort it out at some point, though it may take years! A friend's parents decided that her room could be in whatever state she wanted, but that they wouldn't pick up any washing / crockery etc. that was in there, or hoover / dust / change sheets - left it all to her.

Thank you very much for the update Eileen. Thanks also Applespider - didn't realise trains were disappearing at Denmark Hill between 8-9 after 13 December, argh. Always rely on not having to wait too long if I miss them. Applespider Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > However, looking at the new timetable from 13 > December, it appears that we're losing trains > between 8-9 at Denmark Hill with the 8.06 and the > 8.40 disappearing and the 8.14 being retimed. I'm > relieved that the 0829 is staying (as the 0830) > since having one train at DH that doesn't stop at > PR does make for a less crowded journey. > > It is annoying to lose the 8.06 and 8.14 though > since now there's a fairly big gap if you miss the > 0759. I guess those days I have to be in the > office for 8.30 meetings just became earlier > starts...

Clare C - the person showing you round Tommy's should be able to provide statistics on number of days closed, number of women actually giving birth in the home etc. etc. You might have to ask, but when I went she had data to-hand. Second others that the five minute journey to Kings feels like an eternity when you are in labour! Or if something unexpected happens and worried about the baby. Re Kings and potentially having to giving birth in a cupboard / corridor / not having a dedicated midwife - brief your partner to be assertive - mine was a star! The staff are busy but will help. Doubt they would prioritise someone coming in with their midwife (e.g. from the Lanes), they should prioritise based on clinical need, but I suppose if you are with a midwife you may be less anxious about waiting. Some private midwives might be licensed to work at Kings - think they are expensive, though, and they might not want to just do the birth, they might want you to buy a whole package of pre-natal care. Private births (e.g. the Portland) cost a lot, and the costs are unpredictable 'cos it depends on how things go and how much intervention you need. A lot of the big London hospitals have private wings that do consultant or midwife-led births (Tommy's included), but don't think Kings does. Think Tommy's was about ?3000 for a straightforward private birth, no epidural, rising significantly with intervention, to about ?8k for a C-section with stay afterwards.

It would be good to know whether the additional funding is for capital (buildings, portacabins, equipment, IT etc.) only, or whether it can also be used to pay salaries of teaching and support staff.

Hi Puffin, think have exchanged private messages before. There is some information on PGD on the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (government body which regulates clinics) http://www.hfea.gov.uk/preimplantation-genetic-diagnosis.html

Good for you Mellors!

I agree with Toast! toast Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Nick is saying nothing about the crass nature of > the admissions policy which leaves people either > their nearest school or the ones no one else wants > far away. Learn a lesson from Lewisham (and > goodness knows how many other boroughs) or you > will have a lot of the same problems this year! > There is extra money, schools welcoming the extra > funding, everyone is doing their bit but poor > policy had a large role to play in the upset last > year and needs fixing!

As toast says, schools no longer get much notice of Ofsted visits - though if they haven't had one for several years thet may know they're due one.

Hi Clare, I too visited both, as like you had felt anxious about Kings. Someone on another thread said that Tommys were no longer taking referrals from our area? If they are taking referrals, you'd need to have another "booking in" appointment at Tommy's and your midwifery and postnatal care would also be shifted to there I think. Suspect that big London hospitals are much of a muchness when it comes to bedside manner etc.! I went for Kings as was nearer, and good thing I did as had to visit the maternal assessment unit several times in the last few weeks and get there in a big rush due to developments with labour. Was also easy for my partner to get to and from Kings when I stayed in after the birth and to get home with the baby when we were discharged. As you say, the "home from home" unit at Tommy's can only be used if you need little intervention - as soon as you need anything like an epidural you get moved to the more medical bit. When I visited, think they said that only a small percentage of women who gave birth there actually did so in the "home from home" bit.

My husband ran with the Dulwich Park runners sometimes too, found it good, and had a celebration for the marathon runners afterwards, for friends and family too, was good fun. Am impressed that you will be doing it twice! Good luck with the training. He had to pack in the long distance due to back trouble, some good practice routes, will try to find them out and post them. For some of the long runs we went to Putney (37 bus goes there, takes a while though), he'd run along the river and I'd potter about and ride home with him later. Have you got a physio? There are quite a few round Dulwich, would probably help your preparation, avoid injury etc.

Oooh, sounds good, but being cynical wonder like R&A when the cash will actually be dished out (and whether it is dependent on the election).

Saw this too, but have to remember that it is the evil Evening Standard. Re CofE, think that school has tiny catchment, but you could all just go to church for a bit! (tee hee).

Don't worry re. coping with work after a broken night Crystal77 - I was worried about this, but working after broken nights is easier than coping with a child after a broken night! (Unless of course your job requires you to e 100% on-the-ball, e.g. brain surgeon - you'd hope not to many of them are sleep-deprived!) Agree with Vickster on breakfast - surely childminder can give breakfast? (At nursery it's always weetabix, presumably as is easiest for little ones to eat, minging nappies though!)

There used to be a cockerel near us, used to crow early in the morning it was really annoying! Stopped a while back, maybe got eaten by a fox.

Hi Belle, Guess there is no "perfect" gap, just down to what suits each family and mother nature! This is a matter close to my heart, as we have had problems "trying" for a second child for a long time (recurrent miscarriage) and are having to face up to the possibility that it might never happen. We had hoped for a small age gap, wanting as you say to "get it over with", though must admit that much as we want a second, the prospect of further sleepless nights (when we still have these with our little one) fills us with dread! Feel (irrationally) quite upset when people talk about "family planning", since it is not necessarily possible, as you say, though do realise that for lots of people all is fine and their desired age gap works out. Also find it hard to know what to say when people ask if / when we will be having a second child, which happens all the time (it is Dulwich after all)! Similarly criticisms of one-child families, e.g. ("only children are all spoiled / weird / lonely / self-obsessed. their parents are selfish, career/money-obsessed etc. etc."). These fall into the same genre of questions as "when will you get a boyfriend/girlfriend?" to single people, "get married" to people dating or living together, and "have a baby" etc. etc. Sorry, I don't mean to be a doom-monger! Or to be giving too much information. Just think that these things being hidden behind closed doors is isolating. Often think it must be really hard for people in Dulwich - with and even more so without kids - who are experiencing fertility problems. Re. feeling broody, it is not a rational thing. I was wittering away about having "the next one" when in labour - mix of hormones/drugs/naivety probably! Agree that it is a deep-seated instinct.

R&A Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Should a relationship break up or say (god forbid) > there's a loss through death, how will our > decisions now affect our choices later on? These are horrible issues to consider, but for me they (also prospect of a serious illness or injury that prevents one of us working) are important. Know several people who have, in their 20s and 30s, already had to face them. Though guess if something unexpected happens you would do whatever is necessary at that point, whatever your existing work (or stay-at-home) arrangements. Also, and related to this, when considering financial issues, it's relevant to consider medium and long-term earnings potential as well as the short-term. In a lot of cases, in the short-term you only just cover childcare costs, but by staying in work you will often earn much more in the long-run. Totally agree with gwod though, a range of solutions can work, and would add that if things are not working out, changes can be made! (She says with dreams of a lottery win / big fat redundancy cheque)

Good for you Powercow. goosemum Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > my advice is that if > you are relaxed about it, then your child will be > too. I thoroughly disagree with goosemum on this! The argument that all will be well as long as parents relax is not only simplistic, it is undermining / critical of parents who are doing all they can to get the best arrangement for their children in what is a fairly rigid system. Similarly, "choosing" a school is not a realistic option unless you have the cash (and desire) to move to the catchment area of your preferred school (which will probably not be flexible on start dates) or go private.

Red cross do one-day workshops, nearest one is Beckenham though.

I went back part-time after a year off, was dreading it as didn't want to leave our daughter, but have ended up loving it. Feel really lucky to be able to do 3 days a week. Not ideal work-wise, as hard to get through all the work, but works well home-wise. I have more to give on my home days than I did before, and in general have had much more energy since returning to work. It was only when I went back that I realised how hard I'd been finding it to be at home full-time, it was / is much much harder than working (for me anyway). Ideally I'd like to do 4 days at work with my husband doing 4 days, as then I could move jobs internally and progress in my career (no jobs are open to anyone working less than 4 days as managers who don't know people don't think it'll work), but as some others say, some companies / fields aren't great on flexible working, especially for men! I do believe (controversial!) that it's best for small children to be looked after by a parent, but felt that it was also important to contribute financially and not rely on just one salary (in case of redundancy etc.). My Mum was the sole bread-winner several times in my childhood and had she not worked we could have been in trouble, so I've always wanted to keep earning.Also, I didn't want to leave then possibly have to take a big pay cut to get back into work a few years later.

How worrying - may be worth complaining, they should have a procedure. If you pull him out would imagine you'd be liable for the fees - it'll be in the terms and conditions somewhere.