prdarling

OK, so after much hand wringing, tears and whatnot we eventually got a place at Goodrich. Son due to start in a couple of weeks, we have met the teacher who is wonderful, he has seen his classroom, met the teaching assistants, got his uniform and his two best friends from pre-school will be in his class. So far so fab. Got a call at 4pm today offering us a place at Fairlawn, which is where i would have sent him from the get-go, had I had the luxury of choice. Would need to accept by Monday. Very big dilemma. Have no idea of the starting procedure at Fairlawn, how much time doing half days etc etc, nor when he would start, nor who his teacher would be. Can't find any of this stuff out as school has now closed. More than happy with Goodrich but really wanted Fairlawn all along. Both logistically the same so even that can't be a deciding factor. he would choose Goodrich for all of the obvious reasons and the last thing I want is for him to start school with trepidation, but I feel bonkers rejecting a place that I would have sold my granny for this time 3 months ago Clearly parents at both will big up their school so i am not looking for which school is best, just venting I suppose. Let this be a lesson to all of you parents applying for Sept 2011. Be careful what you wish for :)

Congratulations Ruth. Mine are 18 months apart - it's a lovely gap, if somewhat crazy to begin with :) I did a spreadsheet for Mr Darling so he knew which of my friends were avalable when. Very anal I realise, but it's not the time to be flying by the seat of your pants! I am lucky in that I have many friends whom I've known forever who are close by so it wasn't an imposition to ask any of them. As it was, I went into labour at about 4.30am five days before my due date. I waited till about 6am to be sure, called the relevant name on my list (who was 6 months pregnant and had a 2 year old, so I knew she'd be up anyway!)dropped the boy off on the way to Kings. Had son no.2 at 11.30am, came home at 2pm. Picked up son no.1 at 4.30pm after having an afternoon chilling with the new boy. Perfection! Good friends are definitely the way forward :) PS Hearting sillywoman's post!

Sb you've made my day :)

I have two and would love another for myself and for my children but I can't afford to stop working for long enough. My nearly 5 year old would dearly love another sibling but it's just not feasible from a time (ie I'm not 25 anymore alas) and money point of view. I think big families are wonderful. I have 4 siblings/half siblings and when we get together it's just lovely. All the children adore their aunties and uncles, not to mention the numerous cousins. Family occasions are a joyous, but clearly riotous occasion. I remember on holiday as a teenager seeing awkward only-child teenage boys having dinner with their 40 something parents in Spain or such like and watching the mortification on their faces as they clearly didn't really want to be hanging out with such oldies and always feeling so grateful for the chaos and hilarity of our family. It's such a personal decision but I can't imagine being without my siblings and my God, when I am one child down for whatever reason, I find it such hard work to entertain the other one! Mine are only 18 months apart and as such are a litle unit. They stick like glue whenever they are out together at parties and such like My friend is an only child of two only children. She has no grandparents left and obviously no aunts and uncles and feels bloody alone in the world now her parents are well into their 70's. Can't understand why anyone would willingly wish that potential future on a child.

Ryedalema Faith schools do in theory offer non faith places but i've yet to see it work in practice as non faith come way down on the list of criteria below looked after children, special needs, siblings, practising catholics in the diocese, practising catholic in other diocese, etc etc With your local community school (Goodrich for you) the admissions crieria are looked after children, special needs, siblings, distance (closest community school), distance (not closest community school Don't know if that explains the situation a bit but you will only have a shot at getting into your closest community (ie non faith school). If i were you i'd put Goodrich, Horniman, Heber and Fairlawn. Unless that is you are happy to give a shot to a less popular school...which is a whole different conversation :)

Mellors I would definitely put your closest school first but I must say that 600m is quite far away, especially as there has been a bulge class in Heber this year so could potentially be a higher sibling intake. We were 465m from Goodrich and didn't get in at first, but got a place 8 weeks later after many tears and much hand wringing and spleen venting on here. All I can say is that if you don't get in at first, don't despair as things do change a lot in the first few months after the places are allocated. Wouldn't wish it in anyone though - good luck

OK being brutal here... if your baby is 8 months old and you are going back to work, he should not need to be fed every 3/4 hours. It's not necessary and as much as he loves it, you have to let go. He is nearly 9 months old so should be well capable of going through the night and will be able to fall asleep alone if you let him. It's hard but you have to distinguish what you want and need from what your baby wants and needs. You must be shattered. I'm afrid you need to get tough and start to put him down to sleep by himself and sooner rather than later. I know it's horrid but letting him fall asleep with you is only delaying the inevitable. As for the nursery situation. Why are you putting him in a nursery when he's used to such close attention...surely a childminder home-from-home environment would be much more suitable?? Sorry if I sound harsh but I just don't understand why someone who still feeds their 9 month old son every 3 hours would plunge him into the impersonal world of a nursery. I know it's a stressful thought process but I really would reconsider if i were you

Gosh McE I love your optimism. I thought I was likely to get into my closest school 400m away but it was not to be. Hate to break it but 'Likely to get into either' sounds super naive in 2010 ED

I'm afraid many good nurseries have a 2 year waiting list so you may not be able to consider this option. Not being super rich, we went for the childminder option - about ?40 a day including meals and snacks and a home from home environment (but not actually at home which was vital as I worked at home so didn't want my son there) Nannies cost about ?10 an hour plus the same again for tax and NI. If you do a share it costs about ?7 or ?8 an hour each plus taxes. Nelly's and Gumboots are rated but I don't have personal experience Nurseries, if you find one you like are about ?50+ a day. IMHO I don't think a nursery is the best place for an under 2. They benefit greatly from a more personal experience, even though it's hard to hand your child over to the care of one person :) Have a look around and you will know instinctively what is right for you and your child. Good luck, it's daunting but you will get there x

Bottom line is - if you don't drive you get into walking and buses and you don't miss it. If you do have a car, you will probably use it a lot and won't remember how you managed without it. Public transport is fine with one baby but if you have a baby and a toddler in a double pushchair you ar pretty much confined to ED...not necessarily a bad thing, but it will probably get you down eventually. If you have a newborn in the spring/summer it's lovely ambling around LL and the parks till all hours. If you have a newborn from Nov-Feb you more than likely want to get where you are going and get home again with the least possible messing around. I would definitely take your test and get it under your belt

Another vote for Oakwood. They were amazing during the births of both of my children

Thanks Kat. Unfortunately I work Mon - Thurs so Friday is my only free day so prob not going to work out. Boo. Looks like the trip to Beckers will go on :(

Does anybody send their children to swimming lessons at DCPS? If so I would appreciate some feedback/contact details please. Mine currently go to Beckenham Spa but when darling 1 starts Reception in January it's going to be a nuisance trailing over there after school Thanks for any advice PRD

Really?? I went there in the summer and thought the food was very mediocre. They welcome kids yes, but that doesn't make up for the dismal food. My husband had pasta which was quite nice but I had a pizza which if you'd told me it was a frozen one from Iceland I wouldn't have been surprised. I certainly won't be returning

It will end eventually. My 1st son did wees standing up at the loo at 2.7 and barely had one mistake after day one of trying. However he had huge issues with poos. Always requested a nappy and if i said no and tried to make him use the loo, he would withhold for as long as possible and get stomach ache, grey skin etc - just awful. I gave up in the end and let him get on with it and EVENTUALLY one day he just said Mummy I'm just going for a poo on the loo. That was that. Sadly he was 3.9 at the time:( What can I say??! I hope we are an extreme case but I really promise that eventually he will get it :)

A nanny is a nice option but the most expensive. ?10 + per hour plus tax and NI unless I am mistaken?? Great if you have the cash, not if you work from home of course as they will be there all the time! Wouldn't go for nursery for a baby. Many will disagree but I think babies need to be an environment similar to being with their mother. A nursery does not fulfil this need. Personally I would go for a childminder. Much more of a home from home enironment than a nursery - all the nanny care but with half the cost ?5 ish per hour, no extras. They nap in a proper cot and have a day structured much more like a day at home would be, plus the bonus that they are in someone else's house so get to enjoy loads of other toys, plus they often have another 1 or 2 companions to play with. I would go for close care and then a nursery from around 2 ish when they want more socialisation. I'm afraid many of the nurseries in SE22/21 have a 2 year waiting list though It's such a personal choice though, you need to go and view as much as possible ASAP. Good luck

pripolla I know someone who lives at the PR end of Barry Rd and this year they got into Heber, but that may have ben due to the bulge?

mrs lotte it's bizarrely the same at Beckenham Spa. I have one son who has lessons there but if I want a place for the other I have to queue up on Monday 4th Oct. I asked if I could phone up at 8am but no... "Don't you have someone who can come and queue for you?" Err sorry my staff are all busy that day Can't believe how ridiculous it is. There must be a more efficient way of doing it

Also appreciate pushing them re the pool temp as soon as poss please - it's definitely a deal breaker. My two really didn't enjoy it and the elder one's lips were seriously blue after only 15 minutes...was a bit surprising Cheers PRD

His last party was 5 years ago so I can't complain... but lines have got to be drawn :)

2.20am are you kidding me??! I had to ask my neighbour to pull the plug on the live PA in his living room at 7.30am on Sunday morning. Hate to be a killer of joy but I think I had some justification I'd have sent him flowers if he'd wrapped up at 2.20

Glad the pool is open again after an eternity but a coupel of questions Why don't the changing rooms should have those disposable shoe covers at the door that you get in Beckenham Spa? I'm far from anal but even on a bright sunny day this weekend, the floor was filthy, black and (obviously) wet. Really really unpleasant when you have bare feet, especially once you have got dry and dressed after a swim and I can only imagine how gross it'll be in November. Secondly the pool was possibly the coldest I have ever been in. It's all very well putting a baby in a neoprene suit but they don't make them for older children and my 4 year old looked positively cadaveric after 15 minutes in there. We were hoping to book them in for swimming lessons but with all the hanging around that's involved when doing a group lesson I think they will just be too cold. I found it unbearable so I really don't think 18 degrees (or whatever) is a suitable temerature for small kids. Can anyone clarify if this is he norm? It was like swimming in Hampstead Ponds! The deep end is not deep enough and the shallow end is too shallow. Three year olds who are learning to swim should really be able to stand up and as someone else said, older children need to learn to dive in. Very weird seeing as you could have sunk a submarine in deep end of the old baths. Looks beautiful but not overwhelmed I have to say

Hope your son gets through it OK. My first at 6 months, had and has barely a scratch but the second who had it at 8 months had a raised angry pus-oozing red scab for about 6 months, maybe more. He now has a lilac coloured crater in his arm. The two experiences couldn't have been more different. Whatever happens though, it will pass x

When was that Heidi? Very curious as they seem wat closer to Heber. I find the whole thing so random. Friends of mine who live on Barry Rd almost at the the park got into Heber this year and we who live twice as close to Goodrich did not. All totally bizarre

Wondering if i can put one in a cellar (regular Victorian house cellar with no heating or windows) or will I get condensation/mould etc Thanks