Belle

Canvas & Cream I totally applaud you coming on here to respond and explain, as well as making changes where you've been able to. Personally, the no change table thing bothers me less now than it might have done a while back, I've got used to the fact this can be hit and miss, and places which are child friendly but have no highchairs (Luca's for e.g.) annoy m e more! I do however agree that it's unreasonable and a bit naive to ask someone to refrain from giving their baby snacks. I have never stopped to wonder whether this might be ok, and have done it everywhere. In places like the Bishop, where for a time I took my then toddler for lunch every week, I used to take all sorts of snacks for him, and was never made to feel anything but utterly welcome. But, I was paying for a meal for myself, and meeting friends who were also buying food. Surely there's a judgement call here, for both cafes and patrons: where someone is sitting nursing a coffee for hours and their child eats a w hole meal they've brought from home, i can see that's annoying as you are not a creche. But if a reasonable amount of custom is coming from the individual, and in the meantime their children are being relatively well controlled by snacks brought in, surely that means everyone is happy?

ha - scareyt, i have SO done that thing of unneccessarily following toddler and 'talking' to him when I don't know anyone or feel a bit awkward. he always refuses to play along! The drinks are on during a week when my mum is visiting so I'm not sure whether I'll make it (much as she and my hubbie get on, leaving them to hang out while I go and get pissed might be a step too far!). Would def love to put some more faces to forum names, and catch up with people I've met in the past too.

When I was 17 or so I looked after a 10yr old during the school s ummer holidays while her parents were at work. I now cringe looking back as I did v little in the way of organised or creative activities with her, though in my defence I wasn't encouraged to, or told what might be appropriate for her. I remember a bit of baking, cinema trips, going out to the sweet shop/playground, maybe swimming once or twice. But I feel bad now that she must have been so bored in those six long weeks! So what i think I'd expect based in having been in the babysitter's shoes, and now being a parent, is yes def some activity but maybe set out various ideas to get them started? Does depend what age they are too I guess...I guess it's a case of discussing it at the outset and checking they are cool with it. But surely any sitter would prefer children who aren't bouncing off the walls, I do agree that it'd be hard NOT to do something with them!

some people do attribute the guardian role to godparents though I think ????. I've heard people referring to that as part of their godparent duties. But we've gone the way you describe, i.e the godparents are there for pretty much the reasons oimissus gave, but our families (specifically, two brothers) would be guardians in the event of us dying. My first son has two godmothers, one godfather, second will have two godfathers, one godmother. We picked the people who were right for the role, weren't bothered about which gender they were, hence having different configurations. The religious side does have some meaning to me, perhaps less so for my husband. It is interesting though...I know lots of people do the secular godparent thing, and I didn't check which of ours had been baptised, as the vicar officiating is fairly relaxed, but of course I did have to be sure they would be happy to take part in a religious ceremony.

My son's a bit older - 8 m ths, same reflux issues as you know. Things are def getting slowly better. But they were awful at about 5/6 mths. He still has nights where he will 'only' do 3 hour stretches (this still seems like a huge improvement on 40 minutes!) and wake 3/4 times in a night, but we've had a fair few nights of only 1 wake in the last month or two. When things got awful at 5 mths (waking every 20 mins was my absolute breaking point) I did a v gentle sleep training, as I knew he wasn't hungry or in pain any more, with the reflux being well managed. This helped a lot though he has yet to sleep through and I do often bring him in, though neither of us sleep well (as in me and baby) when I do. We did have a few nights where he did as Pickle's little ones have done - feed around 11ish then through till say 6ish, which is v civilised but I see those as the 'golden' nights. Too few! But my first son was sleeping through with an 11pm feed at this age so I guess it just shows how the age itself isn't a guide, it varies so much. Re naps - as Snowboarder says, switching to 2 naps around weaning helps a bit, though annoyingly my little one is very prone to waking after a 40 min sleep cycle and not going back, so he is pretty unpredictable from one day to the next. Too be honest I am now realising that I was more lucky than organised with my first, as I've tried much the same approach with my second but with very different results. We will all get more sleep soon, I'm sure!

second most suggestions given. My top choices are The Killing/The Bridge/The Wire & Mad Men. Totally agree first series of Prison Break is great, a really original idea, then it all gets ridic. Also we liked Ashes to AShes when it was on, but had missed Life on mars, so went back and watched all of those (quite often buy series on iTunes), really enjoyed it. Also bought all the series of Waking the Dead which was pretty good. About to start Breaking Bad... oh - Quite liked The Hour when it was on, I know it suffered through being compared to Mad Men (unfair on any series!) but did quite enjoy it.

Oh that's brilliant - thanks for letting us know. REally glad.

def agree that accidents can be useful so they see what it's all about! thinking about it, my son def had plenty accidents in the first week or so, and successful potty visits were kind of by chance more than anything. Then it seemed to 'click'.

my 3 1/4 yr old is terrible for scooting off too far. Recently I've started trying the (obvious I know but hadn't tried before) tactic of 'you can go to that lampost, then stop' etc, making it into a game...she might jsut be young enough still for this to work? Seems to be more effective than just 'don't go too far! Stop!' etc. I'm avoiding talking about specific dangers other than very immediate ones like cars, because I don't want him to start getting scared at night thinking about it etc. Tricky.

as with all things Gina, I found bits of it helpful and I ignored other parts. Especially the 'by day 3 x will be happening' bits! We tried when my oldest was same age as yours is now, and i found he wasn't ready as he was just weeing all over the place, whereas when we tried again nearer 3, something had obviously changed as he was able to hold for longer. the false start had been in warm weather like this which i'd thought would be perfect but actually the successful attempt was over Xmas! I actually didn't do rewards as my little one is SO wily and demanding I knew he'd just play that one for all it was worth, but I did stickers for a day or 2 and just loads of praise. I'd say it took about two weeks for the penny to drop, but after that we've only had a handful of accidents. haven't tried with nights yet - going to take my lead from him, but his nappies are dry-ish in the mornings. Also I wouldn't necessarily take the nursery recommendation too much to heart if you feel you want to leave things for a while - we had been told that J was ready for quite a while but we felt he wasn't and I'm glad we waited till nearer 3, in our case.

me too - up feeding baby, heard it and thought was like an air raid siren. Hmm - all our windows were open though!

Ah , congratulations Crokes! So glad you got your asthma under control and that all is well with the baby.

argh katsuqueen that sounds awful!! how annoying. and how totally extreme of them - it's irritating that they are so inconsistent. I know in theory they can test 50% of what you take through but I'd have thought they'd appreciate at least the sterile bottles bit. As you say, sterility itself maybe not the issue but minging hairs stuck on bottle tops most definitely not on... I've taken ella's on loads of flights without having to taste but I think that's because I've never thought to declare them, oops! I just reasoned to myself that they are weighed in grams rather than mls...

hpsaucey Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > OR - you could go on Rosendale's 'Raising Boys' > course, and find out that its a mixture, > unsurprisingly, of nature and nurture.... Bloody > good course. Yes, I've heard that about that course. Sorry, i didn't really make it clear in my post that the Cordelia Fine approach, or what little I know of it, is not one I tend to agree with! My son has girl friends who are every bit as 'exuberant' as him, and some who are not,a nd the same mix with the boys. I would also tend to think it's a mixture of nature and nurture just based on my own (fairly limited) experience so far.

It does vary to be honest. if T is asleep they might let you through, but think best to prepare for having to take him out etc. Just ask for help, people are SO helpful esp when travelling on your own, I've handed both my kids to strangers in similar situations! Oh, also - sometimes aiports have a specific security line for people with wheelchairs and buggies, we did this via easyjet from Gatwick I think.

Yes, BST I could have written that about my first son at that age, and to be honest still could now at 3 and 1/4! Hmm there was a book on this subject recently, by the daughter of the writer Anne Fine - think her name is Cordelia Fine, and I think she basically said there are no differences and it's all societal.This is a very crude summary, I only read an article and not the book.

I credit the Brierly midwife I had with cutting through the Kings bureaucracy and dealing directly with the ward midwife to get me out of there asap, when it looked originally like I might have to stay in (again) for an extended period. She knew the best thing for me at that point was to be home and she sorted it.

I have been looking for something like this - I think diddi dance is meant to be good, also I think there are some street dance classes (but not sure of age range) at East Dulwich constitutional hall (have feeling the dance school is called Eos, someone else might know more?). I find it's hard finding something that works timewise, and a lot of things seem to be 4 and up. Think ballet would be too structured for my little one, he'd be majorly disruptive, so am looking for something a bit different. Let me know if you do find anything else!

oh - also, plan a holiday or just a mini treat. having something booked in def helps.

buy a trashy magazine for a bit of escapism...

It's so arbitrary isn't it with the contractions - with both my labours, my respective midwives didn't really realise how advanced I was because I was quite lucid and the contractions weren't too long or intense early on. That's why i was glad to have community midwives in both cases, as I do wonder if the labour ward would have said I couldn't come in because I could still talk etc. If you do get someone like the Lanes/Brierley/Oakwood, it's so helpful having someone else do the liaison with Kings.

Lorenzo is fantastic! We had a session with him a year and a half ago and I am itching to do another since we've had our younger son, I was so impressed not just by the quality of the product but (just as important) by his easy manner and the great way he handled our son. Great value for money.

saila, your first birth sounds horrendous! poor you. There have been improvements at Kings sinced then thankfully, including the above mentioned policy to allow partners to stay, thank goodness - i found this made a big difference second time around. I'd say use the fact that this is not your first to advocate for yourself more strongly...i def think the 'i've been through this once already' argument is quite convincing! I also think it's wise you're planning as you are. For me, my second birth although quicker was more intense than my first, and in retrospect I wish I'd planned for pain relief all along. As you know, there comes a point of no return with epidurals, so I think it's better to ask early on. Also - def mention to the labour ward that it's second baby when trying to get admitted - they should factor in that second deliveries can be quicker, and I know for e.g. the brierley tell first time mums to call them when their contractions are 3 in 10, but second time mums they say call when you're just 2 in 10, i.e. because everything can develop v fast from there. I think a doula is a good idea too. Maybe talk through the first birth with your midwife (not necessarily in counselling way, though that can help too, but on a practical level so that they take your fears into account when planning for the birth). PM me if you want any advice, I felt v similarly to you early on in my second pregnancy, and there are steps I didn't take which I wish I had (but some I did which were helpful too).

yes, they were filming when we were there a couple of months ago, they didn't approach us but the family next to us were miked up. We couldn't agree on whether we'd have done it if we'd been approached! I think it is an amazingly well made programme.

I had heard of the inhalation argument with first son and didn't use it. But with second he's suffered more from the effects of dampness after wiping (baby wipes do leave the whole area pretty wet I guess) and I can't face MORE laundry with reuseable wipes to dry, so have started using some Simple baby powder occasionally. Am I right in thinking modern baby powder is talc-free?