Belle

mrs S - sertraline is the drug I have taken, in my experience (and that of several people I know) it's very good and works pretty quickly too. As great as the Brierley are, it doesn't sound like they're going to be able to sort this maybe as quickly as you'd like? I agree with your husband and/or Saffron re going back to GP or failing that A&E for a referral and pretty much requesting drugs if you feel the need. It's a bit outrageous that someone in your situation is not being seen more quickly in my opinion. If it's helpful - maybe take your husband with you to the GP appointment to help you make your case more strongly? I did this a couple of times and found it helpful and it kind of made me stick to my guns more. I think in situations like this you need to be really definite about what you are feeling, and what you need. because it all about budgets (in my experience), and the professionals having to work out who really 'needs' help, I have found myself almost playing down my situation in the past because I felt that's what they wanted to hear. Don't do that.

I didn't because I don't think I was actually depressed during pregnancy, just a bit stressed - so it didn't warrant it - but I would have done, and would have pushed to if I felt it did warrant it. And actually, if I were ever to have a 3rd (which I won't!) I would definitely request pre-emptive Anti-Depressants in the final weeks, which can be done, because I've had PND twice now and I would want to avoid it if I could (chances of recurrence would be very high). I did some research into this at the time and it is done in some cases. Sadly the NHS is so overburdened that e.g. CBT just wasn't available as I wasn't classed a severe enough case during pregnancy (not being technically depressed, as I said), but I believe that if I'd had it during pregnancy I could have helped prevent depression after the birth. So do push push push for whatever you can get. And if you have any kind of private medical insurance, use that.

what I found with the brierley is that they tend to refer you to the perinatal unit at Kings for stuff like this or suggest you contact your GP if it's urgent. I can PM you more details if you're interested. I do know that medication during pregnancy is an option - it's all about weighing everything up basically. I think antenatal depression is less known about than postnatal depression but can be just as debilitating. I'd suggest contacting your named midwife or GP asap, this isn't something you should just have to endure - there may be ways of alleviating it for you. Do PM if you want to talk.

It's a tricky one that. I have friends who are atheist and I know they generally aren't keen on church events. But they came to my wedding, and I suppose I would have been hurt if they chosen not to on principle, if I'm being honest. I'd hope they could just ignore the liturgy, enjoy the vows/music and celebrate their friends' happiness. But I've just remembered that one person who was Jewish refused to come because of the church element. It wasn't anyone particularly close to us but I think I was a bit suprised more than anything. I would happily go to a ceremony of any or no faith, if the couple mattered to me. Went to a humanist ceremony in Scotland once and it was lovely. But, I think christenings are different. Technically, you are asking godparents and the wider congregation to take vows with you that relate completely to the Christian faith (whereas you could say that the congregation's contribution in a marriage ceremony is more about supporting the couple). There were definitely people who I'd have considered as godparents for both my children, but I knew it would make them uncomfortable to ask them to stand up in church and make those commitments in a Christian context, so I wouldn't dream of asking that of them. Even though there will be no other 'churchy' element of the role.

on the christening thing, married in church - I have to declare an interest as I did both but don't regularly attend. But I think I'd probably say I am lapsed something (a mix of catholic/episcopal which is the Scottish version of the Anglican church). I have certain beliefs, and it felt important to me to be married in a church. It was also specifically the church where we had my dad's funeral (I guess some would say morbid - for me it was important). I can't exactly explain why I chose the church, and why we went for christenings for both kids in any articulate way, because I'm not sure what I believe. But I can categorically state it wasn't for a picture perfect wedding (there are many, many venues which would have been far more picturesque than the place we got married) or to get presents for the kids (we only asked godparents and close family to attend, and even then only if they were around, and I'm pretty confident they all knew gifts were not expected). The person who christened both my sons is close to us (not through his church role), and also did the sermon at our wedding. Aside from my personal experience, I'm of the view that if it's ok with whoever is doing the ceremony, it doesn't really matter how discernibly religious the people involved are. A good wedding is a good wedding... particularly if it finishes with a ceilidh ;)

Is the tae kwon do a drop in class? am really interestd in something like this for my 4 year old but want to trial it first.

I have always liked this idea but rather than do anything permanent, I bought some blackboard wall sticker stuff, and after one botched attempt got a really nice sized piece on our fridge door (which is actually a cupboard door as fridge is encased if you see what I mean). Similar to workingmummy's set up in that I scribble lists etc at the top and my 4 yr old draws at handle height. I have some left over I might put on the doors of the kids' fitted wardrobes as it's worked so well. Not dusty so far, and cleans well if you use a damp cloth. I like the idea I can take it down if I get fed up.

Oh my god jollybaby!!! I have noticed a few dirty looks when I've done the same, (sometimes it really helps to let off steam by sending a message to your partner or friend saying 'arrgghhh' esp if attempting not to rise to it!) - but that is another level!! Can't understand why you were worthy of criticism but using the c-word in front of a toddler was fine?!! I've been there many, many times. One particular time, when had a 2.8yr old and newborn with horrendous reflux, we all 3 ended up in tears trying to negotiate over a prescription at Sainsbury's pharmacy. happy days...

Yep, I think 17 months is really young! My 16 mth old gets what 'no' means but can barely speak himself, and I would have a really hard time trying to explain it in anything but the most simple terms. I tend to just say 'no, that hurts, be gentle' but that's as far as I'd go in terms of reprimand and I certainly wouldn't look to 'punishment'. I agree with early posters saying they'd move the child away a bit just in practical terms, to stop them biting more kids. Sometimes i have to e.g. move my younger son away from where my son is playing with his lego if he's trying to wreck it. I'll say something brief when I do this but I don't go into 'this is why I'm moving you etc'. Maybe I'm underestimating him and I'm sure some kids this age will understand more than him, and some less.

I wouldn't recommend DMC, I'm on the verge of leaving them after constant trials and tribulations - I have several times been refused appointments on the day for relatively important things or had repeat prescription requests not completed leaving me short of essential medication. I hear good things about forest hill road practice, not sure if that's an option for you? Sorry I know you're more posting about the mastitis but just think that when things get sorted it's easy to leave the ongoing issue (the poor service from the health centre) but worth sorting to avoid the headache next time. Poor you - it's a really stressful time as it is. I had a terrible fever/flu when my second was 2 weeks old, and again at 3 months, not mastitis but I can relate in terms of the fever and having to cope with toddler at the same time. Horrid.

Awww! that's lovely. Def going to order it now.

I think I need to get that book - WorkingMummy let us know as and when you do get a chance to use it.

Lots of people rave about Sandy Balls - I'd love to go. For the name alone!

wispa, twirl...

rich tea! although actually I don't really dunk. I do like to dunk chocolate bars sometimes, but that's another thread...

Second Babu Vadamalayan at the private dept of Kings (Guthrie clinic) - he's very matter of fact and just gets on with sorting it out, was such a relief to be taken seriously when we first went there with our younger son. We saw him off and on throughout our son's first year. But the good news is after our first visit the medication and formula he prescribed stopped the pain. Not overnight but there was an obvious and marked improvement. Hang in there - it's so tough but every day they get bigger, it gets a bit better.

Thanks all for t hese very useful and interesting responses. I did check out Winston's Wish website which had a few good points I've used. Am still struggling a little as my son is now periodically saying 'but I don't want all the people to die!'. And of course, he's particularly concerned about members of the family dying, especially his little brother. I've tried to be reassuring but honest - i.e., for most of us we'll be old/have been ill first, and it's not like everyone dies at once (because I think that's how he was imagining it!), but of course I've had to honestly answer his questions like 'do babies die' (yes, not very often, but they do and it's very very sad). But I've stopped short at talking about spirits/souls -I guess I do have a vague idea of wanting to say death is not necessarily the end, we carry people with us and people have different extents of how far to take that concept, but I just can't get my head around saying that to a nearly 4 year old! And I don't want to impose my ideas too much. He is very literal and one previous misunderstanding over heaven (not a concept introduced by me!) led to him thinking his dead relatives live in Canada, as he'd heard us saying someone called 'Evan' lived there!!

We saw two in our back garden today, mid morning, having a scrap/getting amourous, hard to say which.

I've been looking at martinhal and thought not as dear as I'd imagined? But I was looking for earlier dates than you. April/May time.

Interested to know everyone's approach to this - how/when - (though am guessing most, like me, just kind of wait till it comes up or the child asks). We've had a few chats about death in the past as both my sons' granddads are dead. recently it's become clear he's a bit confused & thinks it's like washing dirty clothes i.e. at some point they'll be ok again. He's not quite 4 so obviously pretty young to get the concept...I have used a line a friend uses, about people's bodies stopping working, it usually being when you're v old etc. But just now he's been asking me, do children die, do all the people die, will I did - so of course I've had to be honest but in as reassuring terms as possible. He was very upset though seems to have now refocused on Peppa Pig so clearly not that upset.* scratch that - just asked 'do people really really not come back to normal?' Just curious to know how/if everyone else is dealing with this? NB am v studiously avoiding talk of heaven etc, for a number of reasons. he's already gone through a phase of thinking his granddads have just moved to a new house (!) - quite like that metaphor actually!! Sorry if this has been posted on before, didn't fancy a search for 'death'!

I like it - v v easy to install, and once I'd figured out to use it with my son standing so he's inside the handlebar, if you see what i mean, it didn't mean I had to walk with it slightly to one side, and can walk reasonably normally. But I too am 5'3 and my taller husband doesn't find it so easy. I think you'd get that with any buggyboard though.

I've used Gemma at Kuki and thought she was fab. So has my mum!

Hi Pantalaimon - i think you'll get loads of useful replies if you post this in the family room :) lots of experienced fliers-with-babies there.

I didn't after my first as didn't feel I could do the job part-time, and lots of other reasons, and didn't want to be full time. Instead I freelanced a bit when he got a bit older. But I've recently gone back around a year after my second, to the same job (nearly 4 years later), part-time. Enjoying it, though finding i inevitably do work on days I'm not paid. In many ways it's like I've never been away. I feel fortunate to have had a long stint at home and then gone back at a senior level.

Yeah I'm in a similar position and am a bit unsure about the hormonal aspect though I know it's meant to be much lighter than if on the pill. TBH am looking at more permanent measures!