Belle

I sometimes think I expect too much - i change my mind about this all the time. But I do know something: other people's expectations are just as big/if not a bigger problem. People thinking you're being rude when you say you can't go for coffee or that sit down lunch is going to be nigh on impossible. I feel quite antisocial sometimes, saying no so much! But anything that invovles sitting down or e.g. anything longer than 10mins travel in the buggy is really tricky for my youngest. obviously it's lovely to be asked for lunches etc, but it's funny - my mum is always suprised by how often we take or try to take our boys out to restaurants etc. We don't normally do this out of choice - there's the pitstop lunch in the park cafe, which we can just about manage - or the more formal thing which for whatever reason we've not been able to get out of! I'm sure there will be people on here who say they did this as a child but my mum maintains she'd never have attempted it (also thinks it's a waste of money but that's the Scot in her ;) - I wonder if we are mad to even try it. A couple of years ago, heavily pregnant with my second and with my first aged around 2.5 yrs, I had to go to a family picnic in a big London park. I just knew it was going to be a nightmare, chasing around after him the whole time with just a huge expanse of park and few limits (and a big old bump hindering me at every step). My husband was away, so I specifically invited a family member to stay as an extra helper (even with her help and the help of the other adults, it was hard work - I doubt I sat down for more than 15 minutes in total). Now that I'm older and wiser, I think I'd just say no. It's a fairly short period of time they're like this, if it was for a big birthday or something obviously I'd find a way to do something or make a compromise but I think sometimes it's ok to say actually that's going to be too hard for us this time. What's the best way to get into the woods?

totally right about finding something focused Knomester - when I can face it, my older son loves to bake with me, and loves to garden with his dad. Also loves arty/crafty things. The trouble is am often so knackered by the two of them I get into a vicious circle of not having the energy to plan an activity like this, but then of course things get worse as they get wilder. Am intrigued by the Woods but also scared of one of them running off, yes. And yes, we've gone out a lot in all weathers but am also a bit sick of the parks at the moment, because of the youngest really, so we're spending lots of time in soft play places. AGree it's not just a boy thing, have def met girls who are the same! uptime, what about little rascals? It's amazing. It's Bellingham which is about 15/20mins drive or you can get a train there from Peckham Rye. It's about ?4 to get in but so worth it. mUch bigger than Peckham. Annoyingly cafe is closed though. Might be a good halfway option between Peckham/Gambados? Or what about Brockwell Park for a change of park - great playground there now. I really want to go but it's a bit of a hassle with the 2 - waiting till term starts. Also loved the pole vaulting and fox! Now I think of it my eldest does have crazy ideas and thoughts, which explains the nightmares. Life is never ever dull, that's for sure. Totally empathise about post 6 months having to give up on a lot of the standard baby meet ups and then ditto the toddler groups. I quit tumble tots after my son kept being told off for not sitting down at circle time and going anti clockwise instead of clockwise. He wasn't even 2 ffs! Have skipped this second time around as no NCT group, no time to try to go to groups etc - prob for the best!

Was thinking the same midivydale, though sense none of us would finish more than one sentence at a time before dashing off ;) REally like those sentiments Anna27, and Mellors also v encouraging words, I had no idea there were so many of us :) My youngest has escaped a couple of times from the picnic area but not thankfully as far as the exercise bit, that is pretty impressive. Totally agree best to avoid situations you know will be stressful. Somehow we still end up with a fair few of these, and my god they make me tear my hair out, but I'm getting better at saying no to people even if it seems rude. It's hard as I must admit it's tempting to give in to too much telly/iPad at home just to buy some peace, chance to get stuff done without thinking one of them may kill themselves if I look the other way. But I know that screen time is probably just exacerbating the problem. In terms of sleep, my first was on the whole a good and reliable sleeper and still needs 11-12 hours a night, though recently has been having bad nightmares which is another thread - but my second is nearly 2 and only just regularly sleeping through, and def needs less sleep than his big brother. So don't think there is a correlation. This thread has made me feel much better!

Contrary to the last, my younger son was a nightmare on a recent beach holiday - takes off down the beach, sounds fun - not in thirty plus degrees heat it wasn't, not after a big lunch especially ;) and weirdly at another beach he just wanted to run OFF the beach towards the little marina and/or roads/cars etc. Argh. I basically need an enormous well fenced field. Finding P Rye picnic area quite good as allows scope to roam without the worry of completely losing him or him running into the stream or road (has tried, repeatedly). Dulwich Park I agree is great for running around, but i find with my 4 year old to keep (half) an eye on it's too hard. I'm quite looking forward to the elder one going to school next month so I can really let the little one go for it, to be honest. Queen Mab, I too sometimes wonder what I've done/not done but 4.5 years on, with 2 children exactly like this, I've realised it's not me, it's definitely THEM!

I think it varies - I know for instance Dulwich Village infants hasn't done this in the past (that may have changed)? Teachers I know from other areas are always impressed about the schools which do it here which makes me think it's not something you get in every school.

I've looked into this in the past b ut the ones I've found haven't worked for us timings-wise - think there's one which runs at the Albrighton centre possibly, if you do a search for tae kwondo on here it should come up. I think martial arts are perfect for this kind of kid. And totally relate to everything you're saying above by the way. I wish my son could just run it off in the park but it seems he needs more focus, more to occupy him as he gets older.

My son is starting on mon 9th sept, and I'm pretty sure that's the earliest for Reception but that the rest of the school is back the week before - so if nothing else, would have thought you could call the w/c 2nd to check specific details. The teacher visits are happening that week too. Goodrich has a Twitter feed so could also be worth Tweeting them?!

I'm sure I read an article about an agency that was set up to provide housesitters - will see if I can find it.

Snowboarder, J still sometimes does this to test me, usually when he knows I can't do much about it as looking after T. Awful and can be so scary. He has run off into the undergrowth at P Rye Park before when I've had T in the buggy - genuinely horrible dilemma of who to stay with. I agree, could do with some more practical tips about how letting it be might work, the woman who wrote the blog sounded like in that instance a friend held the baby so she could indulge him by letting him run around the zoo, but would love to know how to apply it in everyday life. Today I took my almost 2 year old to the park and thought ok, we'll let you go wherever you want. But that's only feasible for a small part of a weekend, not something can do normally. Squash court - yes, or maybe trampoline!

Emski Wrote: > I realised I was only saying negative things to > her when trying to counter the bad behaviour > (Don't speak to me like that, Don't be > disobedient, You need to listen to me etc etc). > The harder I tried to stamp out the naughtiness, > the bigger the stand-off. So now we're trying the > opposite - reward charts, loads of cuddles and > attention. I'm not always great at this, but I think you're right about it - we had a conversation with my son's preschool teacher and she said somethign along these lines - it made me realise that I tell my son off for tiny little things but don't do the reverse i.e. praise him for all the little things he does. When I remember I'm trying this approach more and think it does help.

As mum to two boys who could certainly be described as 'high energy', I found myself for the billionth time yesterday looking on a little enviously in a setting where my nearly 2 year old would ideally have remained seated, and just WOULD NOT sit still but wanted to run and run, and all around I could see kids his age sitting/standing near parents quietly. This happened with my older son and things only improved when I just accepted that this was who he is, plus of course he just got older and can now be trusted not to run off across Peckham Rye Common (most of the time!). I've been googling this morning and found this, which I thought might be comforting to anyone in a similar position! http://www.themotherhuddle.com/raising-a-high-energy-child/ Despite having been 'that mum' once already, i'd forgotten all over again that we are not alone!

I love DKH Adventure Playground! When we've been my son hasn't really paid any attention to the building, he's been interested purely in the outdoors stuff, but can see for older kids partiuclarly it could come into its own.

Planning our first holiday abroad in school holidays this October half term (gulp). It's only a week so don't want to travel too far, plus youngest will be just 2 and not the sitting still type so long plane journeys out anyway. Anyone have any recommendations? Was thinking about Princess Yaiza in the Canaries but think might be scarily expensive. And we don't necessarily need all the extras - a communal pool/chance of a bit of socialising (for the kids really) would be good.

Think midivydale is right- once they reach toddler age a mani/pedi would be quite tricky! Does the bumps and babes nct group still run on a Friday morning over on Red Post Hill? That would be ideal if so - or what about tapping in to NCT mums and babies informal meet ups, a lot of those tend to happen in people's houses especially early on and I'd have thought a therapist would be a welcome addition!

Another vote for Warren Evans - we got the single low one in blue (my son's choice!) and never had a bedguard. Just about to buy our 3rd WE bed, for our spare room - can't rate them highly enough - so straightforward, they just come and assemble and then go, all very quickly! Mattresses are super comfortable too.

hi Elliebee. My 2 are a similar age - we are spending a lot of time at Peckham Rye One o clock club this holiday (open every day except Wednesday, free). I work part time but will be there on Friday morning and probably many more days this holidays! PM me if you want more details - realise it might be a bit further than you were looking for, but if you fancy a trip over let me know.

It's funny, I'm more with you Otta (and I'm a woman!). I have never been sentimental about the kids' younger days much, maybe the pics of them as newborns because they were SO tiny, but other than that, as I've documented often here, I did not enjoy the baby days much at all first time round, and second time round terrible reflux put paid to my dreams of a babymoon second time lucky. I do try not to wish the time away, but I too don't think I could go back to step 1 and find myself looking forward to the next year or so in both children's cases, imagining (rightly or wrongly) that life may get slightly easier then. I do have that slightly irrational broodiness which perhaps is a female (biological?) trait but mostly I just think about how hard it was/is when they can't communicate, run off the whole time, scream all night, never sleep...I'm not overwhelmed with nostalgia!

Does anyone know if it's open in the holidays? I know there was a fun day there yesterday but forgot to check opening times.

Do they offer half days?

Not at all! Was a lovely thing to read. Summer holidays are hard! Will deffo PM as we're on the lookout for a babysitter.

Do you do babysitting Anapau? Would love to have someone like you babysit my kids. So nice to hear this - came at a good time, and I bet there are loads of other ED mums and dads feeling the same!

Meant to post on here yesterday about this - I've checked out the Facebook page and there are some great pieces there, I have a 4 year old who would be keen on the dinosaur pics in particular! it's great to see another home grown business. Really nice paintings. Good luck!

Me too - brilliant visit there today. Thankyou!

school nurseries tend to say children have to be potty trained - so that's for kids age 3 and up. Even so, I think you can challenge this (am sure a regular poster had this issue in fact and may have posted about it). It's different with daycare type nurseries. My experience with a nursery school where my oldest went 2 mornings a week was that they were really suppoortive of potty-training - there was no mention of going back to nappies, and it so happened that several were potty training at the same time so they did a big sticker chart for them and trooped them all off to the toilets several times a day. From memory my son had a few accidents there and they just dealt with this in a very matter of fact way. I don't recall any poo accidents but am sure they'd have dealt with them the same way. I was very grateful for their support actually. I would absolutely talk to them and make your feelings known re how you want them to handle the potty training.

I'd say just keep your mind/options open if possible - it's do-able but as with everything in parenting, you can't predict how things will go and it's different for everyone. My second baby was such a horrendous sleeper, and had terrible reflux - for the first year we had many many nights when he woke every 40 mins. We were very fortunate that we already had son 1 settled in nursery a couple of mornings a week - and I was SO grateful for that time! As well as a help to me, it reassured me that he was getting some of the stimulation and activity he really needed. He was going stir crazy but I just couldn't get things together to even get out as much as he needed me to in the first few months. That's kind of the other end of the spectrum from it all going well, I don't mean it in a scare mongering way but just if further down the line you feel you need help, don't beat yourself up about it! I think though at 17mths your son's needs won't be necessarily along sociable lines (i.e. nursery) so it may well be that e.g. a cleaner who might be happy to also watch him once in a while so you can grab a nap when the baby naps? One other tip my midwife gave me for handling 2, pair up with other mums in the same position - it makes life so much easier in playgrounds etc, I remember doing t his early on with a good forumite friend and she was able watch the older two while I quickly fed my baby & kept an eye on her sleeping bub - to this day it's so much more easier this way. Divide and conquer basically ;)