Belle

...everything the others have said, and this: my older son is v boyish but also asked for (and got) a baby annabell for his 4th birthday, picked out nail varnish for my birthday (and got to try it at his request) and LOVES to help me pick my clothes out. I'm very lucky to have some lovely little girls in my life through friends & family but am also realising that it's not so much boys and girls, it's a huge wide amazing spectrum of children. For my part, I felt like you post scan and was glad I'd found out as I had a chance to get my head around it, and then like PollyD above was just so happy when he was born because he was him.

Also Unicorn Theatre might have something good on wh ile they're with you - v handy as London Bridge.

Museum of London Docklands (get there from Peckham Rye-Canada Water then short tube journey) is great, and v do-able for that age, has a play area too - they'd prob be too big for soft play but other fun stuff to do and easy cafe with pirate lunch packs. Second Battersea Park - really lovely Park. Also not sure if anyone's said it but Crystal Palace Park - great playground and the dinosaurs! plus easy on bus. nearer to home Brockwell Park has an AMAZING playground and next to it is the water & sand play, on a warm day that could be you all day if you take a packed lunch. Sorry if I'm repeating other suggestions, posting in haste! Mooching around East D on a Saturday is nice too even for that age kid I think - my 4 yo loves the market. pedaloes on dulwcih park pond? Trip to Hope & Greenwood and their own ration books to spend on sweets for t he week? have fun!

thanks for that tip Bellenden Bear - we're going this weekend but not taking my younger son in (21 months) - so were ho[ping there'd be a good playground nearby where my husband can take him. Jenny, which day are you going? will look out for you!

Hi there, haven't read all the posts but what jumped out at me was that I think at around this age we def dropped the morning nap - he was definitely waking earlier and earlier, knowing he could make up for it with the morning nap. I think we phased it out (will try to remember more helpful details) possibly over Christmas or sometime when we had a few days off i.e. could afford to change the routine (it's hard when you're in that vicious cycle of early -start/early nap). I'm pretty sure I posted on here about 4.30 type starts not that long before, though I probably didn't make the connection (too tired!). anyway T is still an early waker, but we have a rule that we don't go in till after 6, and, touch wood, even on early waking days it's not usually before 5.30. Often now when we leave him he'll go back to sleep till 6ish. Obviously if he was upset we'd go in. I did stop co-sleeping a bit before dropping the nap, which helped with night-wakes, but it sounds like that's a separate issue. Mind you, I did find that he would always wake earlier when in with me for some reason. Anyway my advice would be to try to go down to the one nap. PM or text me if you want to talk more or meet up - summer hols coming soon and I know J would love to see baby I!

Agree Gone Girl is a good read but like the poster above I felt it fizzled out a bit and got ridiculous. I thought 'before i go to sleep' a much better thriller, if you are after one. Also the new Maggie O Farrell - think is instructions for a heatwave? - not her best but still v readable and great holiday book.

Kate Atkinson's Life after Life - I loved it. Where'd you go Bernadette by Maria Semple is really good too. When I was on holiday I tried some of Nora Ephron's writing fo r the first time and loved it - essays work quite well for holiday, and don't be misled by 'essay' as they're all v easy reads! I read 'Things I hate about my neck', and then got her novel 'Heartburn' on my kindle and really liked it too (it's pretty obviously autobiographical).

Me too, it was great - 4.5 yr old had a great time. Look forward to return visits.

I would have thought Bessemer, Dulwich Village Infants and Goose Green. May even Dog Kennel Hill? But think it has a fairly small catchment. Too far for Heber on current intakes. For secondary, Charter pretty close...other secondaries in the area aren't on proximity as far as I know, so less relevant.

Thanks all! and Helena am so glad you caught this! yes do Pm, interested to hear. Thanks too for all the PMs which are so much appreciated and w hich I'll reply to! Saffron - no, not raised it with a GP yet - am about to change practice so guess will do after we do that. Am not particularly keen to rush towards diagnosis or medication but like you say I just need to find ways of helping him (and us!) cope. One of the things that's prompted me to revisit this thread is that in quick succession my mum, brother and mother in law (who all see him with varying regularity and have different views generally on his behaviour) each raised his behaviour, and his impulsiveness, particularly in the context of danger. e.g. on holiday when paddling with his grandma he suddenly just bolted into the sea, got swept over by a huge wave, plunged underwater and was completely drenched, not to mention terrified. At 4.5 I just wouldn't expect him to be doing things like that somehow. Reading through the PMs people have sent me has been so reassuring and helpful, just knowing that there are plenty people out there who've experienced the same thing and it's not necessarily just a badly brought up child (which is how I can feel at times!). helena/fapl you raise interesting points about what is normal, and also the bearing school/preschool can have. To be honest as t his is ED we just felt v lucky to get a place in a nearby school, which we are v happy with, and I'd sort of been h oping/assuming that starting reception might be the making of him, in the same way that school nursery for the better part of a year has been really positive. But maybe that was a bit naive, and I should talk to his teacher about our concerns, once we're assigned one. I will also ask his nursery teachers about it. And thanks too for all the info re Sunshine House, I will definitely seek a referral there.

subscription to a magazine? one she likes but doesn't necessarily buy regularly? is such a nice pressie as you have just forgotten about it when a new one comes through the door...I somehow make mine last for ages because I only ever get time to read a few pages in one go!

and saffron too!

I'm resurrecting this thread because I'm more than a year on and am still (at times) wondering about this. Son is now nearly 4 1/2, goes to school nursery & starts reception in September. Following this thread last year I did as I think I posted I would, a kind of 'watch and wait' strategy, plus started him last Sept at school nursery which he settled into very quickly and was largely successful. however we seem in the last few months to have moved into another really difficult phase, and for the first time the descriptors of ADHD are really making sense, particularly the 'impulsiveness' strand. There are times when he literally can't seem to stop himself doing something, and often this involves something highly dangerous. So that might be - scooting in front of a moving car, because i've specifically said not to - running on the road in the same scenario - breaking things almost compulsively - and most recently, hitting/pushing which hasn't been a very regular feature of his behaviour till now. Basically all that energy he's always had is starting to turn a bit aggressive which really concerns me. I have tried the whole spectrum in terms of disclipine - time out, carrot and stick, reward chart, removing favoured toys, removing promised treats etc, promising rewards for good behaviour - but it is as though he is possessed and utterly beyoned reason at times. And nursery, who have up until now insisted he gets along well there, have started saying he's not listening, playing up, quite hyper etc. I'm not looking for labels but I am looking for context. I did a few searches online and found other parents with v similar (and same age) children which is kind of making me feel this is not necessarily about my crap parenting! So to that end, Helena (if you're there), cuppatea, charlotte and BST I'd really value yours and anyone else's personal and professional experiences!

I think I may try another chemist then, though longer term will probably switch GPs anyway. I've had prescriptions which weren't on the express system with Lloyds but which still haven't been done (i.e. it was DMC's fault) - despite having allowed more than the minimum 48 hours etc, and that's just inexcusable. Once, ok - but 3 or 4 times in as many months is ridiculous. In fairness, my husband sent a complaint in and got a very swift and detailed response from the practise manager. Like you midivydale I've been on the brink of tears at times, it's extremely stressful not being able to get medication you know your child needs, especially when you have jumped through all the appropriate hoops.

I find their relationship with Lloyds on express prescriptions quite flawed. Almost every time I go to pick up a prescription it is late or has gone missing, with both sides blaming each other (i.e. DMC saying it was filled and picked up by Lloyds, and Lloyds claiming it hadn't been done by DMC). I'm quite sick of it. I've also never been told about the onsite pharmacy which is a bit annoying as on several occasions (due to their cock up) I've had children and myself run out of important medication. Infuriating. Agree there are a couple of nice receptionists and individual doctors but the overall system isn't working, for us anyway.

I don't iron any more, but for a while I did do my husband's shirts, on the basis that he does 90% of the cooking, which I don't enjoy, and he hates ironing, which I don't hate , it was a good deal. I feel like the house is always messy and with jobs needing done but a while back my husband just said 'we have 2 small kids - what do we expect?' and now I just try and remember that and relax a bit if I start stressing about it.

Aw Midivydale, that sounds like the perfect solution. I'm so sorry about your news though. Hope the trip goes ok. Meet up when you are back? xxx

if your husband wears shirts that's a lot of washing too...my kids PJs never seem to last rmore than one wear because they get covered in breakfast stuff. It IS neverending, esp if your kids are of the messy type...

Yes, I must admit I'd have a long list of TV viewing, maybe a pile of books too.

Is magic moments a minimum of 2 mornings?

Adelle - Oaktree nursey on Tell Grove does. I think that My Favourite Nursery does too, but it's apparently got a big waiting list. Possible Little Jungle too? And The Villa? Others may know. I used and loved Oaktree a couple of mornings a week for 2 years, for my older son - was great. It's since changed a bit and is now more of a daycare facility, but still offering half days - I've only seen good feedback though since we left.

Any thoughts on how they compare with Sitters? I've been meaning to try them (sitters) for ages but interested if there are any differences.

anyone know if there any of those intensive swim school things planned this half term? My 4 year old is desperate for lessons but we never manage to get onto the Dulwich or Peckham classes, so thought might try this instead.

Just read t hrough the other replies - totally agree re deep drawers, have had them in 2 houses now and love them, also wish I had more. I've had in several places (not by choice - never done anywhere up as such) annoying cupboards which go round a corner/too far back and so the back just doesn't get used or ends up as a repository for stuff you think you've lost. One other thought I'd suggest (poss obvious) - some of the things I'd have done even a year ago to cater f or the kids, I now see aren't necessary - i.e. it's worth planning slightly longer term than just the crawling/toddling stage if that makes sense, as it really doesn't last long! Also our mutual non foruming/non FBing pal will have loads of insight/Pinterest ideas for this!

if you have any space at all, get an American style fridge. We don't think we can squeeze one in to ours, but had one once (pre kids, rental property - not ours sadly!) and LOVED it, and have had them in holiday properties since kids and found them brilliant. I'm not at home at the moment but can check out our kitchen fittings on return - they're all v good and the surface is quite unusual. Mix of wood and white gloss which seems to work well.