Belle

Hi - weds mornings ideal for me as toddler in nursery, but also happy to come monday afternoons if that suits people better.

Tomo - your baby sounds like my first son was - he had reflux but wasn't bad at nights, just clearly was upset when he was sick, which was pretty often. in our case, we were v fortunate that time as gaviscon did the trick (and he was bottle fed so it was easy to administer) and really seemed to stop the pain. he was still sick right up until he was about a year old, though less as his milk intake dropped down, but it just didn't bother him once we got the gaviscon going. Second son a different story as is well recorded on this forum! Completely agree with Midivydale about not worrying whether it sounds 'bad' enough, all these things are tough regardless. And yes totally up for a reflux parents meet! Maybe we should start a separate thread? Would be great to share tips/sympathy and hopefully success stories - at 7 months my baby is such a happy guy, still regularly sick but it totally doesn't bother him and weaning has been relatively straightforward. I'd never have believed it when he was 8 weeks or so, it was very tough back then.

seems really hard to find gymnastics for pre schoolers - noticed that backflippers only do 2-4yrold classes in barnes and petersham. Does anyone know about the Alleyn's gymnastics classes? sorry for hijack...

agree work may be a big factor. i have had moments of feeling like this, and if I'd had a career i loved (I had stopped enjoying it pre kids) I think going back would have sorted me out. Also, is there anything aside from work you are keen to do or try out? even if it's some new form of exercise? I sometimes feel like there's nothing outside family/kids/home for me, and think it would be a good thing to have a passion or interest that is unrelated. Also - I'm not sure what age your little one is but personally I have only found parenthood consistently rewarding in the last six months or so since my son turned 3. I know it's different for everyone but I find the exchanges we have now and the very ostensible way he is developing and communicating much more fulfilling than those early leaps and bounds in the first year or two. So hang in there...

Good point Ondine. BST - totally agree with everything you said above. I read the blog and it jolted me not just in terms of how I behave around my children, but as someone else alluded to above, with adults and when doing anything else. One of the reasons I enjoy The Killing and all the other Scandinavian crime progs around is that we do have to totally focus on it - makes you realise how much of the time is spent with divided attention, scanning things online with half an eye on your food/tv/friend/or yes, child. The other night on a rare meal out with friends I realised I was opening Facebook to 'check in' whilst chatting with a good friend who I've only seen 3 times this year. Really shameful! I totally agree we don't need more guilt, but I don't think the blog should be interpreted that way. After all, the blogger is writing online! And I agree that e.g. iphones, the forum, facebook have helped keep me sane during parenthood. Like you Pebbles, I certainly use the laptop whilst the kids are watching TV, but I feel that as I'm still interacting when appropriate and sitting in the room with him, that's fine - it's more akin to Pickle's reference to parents reading morning papers. I guess the difference though between browsing online and reading a paper is that the latter is finite. I also think it's true that we spend more quality time with our kids doing activities. It also occurred to me when reading the post that I just as often find myself having to ignore/put off my kids' request when I'm doing housework, or attending to one whilst having to leave the other. I hear myself saying 'i'm busy' when I'm cleaning the kitchen or whatever, and do feel bad, but then surely it's a much smaller proportion of distracted time than previous generations.

ps there is the Albrighton Centre - not sure if this is Sure Start/Children's centre but seems to be similar? That's on Dog Kennel Hill, and I think Ivydale has a children's centre, but perhaps others on here can advise.

hi Bet01 and welcome to ED! Just to say Goose green playground is v good - East Dulwich Road, jsut before the stretch with Locale on - and has an area particulary suited to little ones. Peckham Rye Park & Dulwich park are both lovely, with playgrounds but also duckponds and lots of different areas to explore. There is the One O Clock club at Peckham Rye too, this is mentioned on the EdTots website (has been a while since I've been so not sure on the latest with opening times etc). There is a small playground next to Sainsburys on Dog Kennel Hill which isn't amazing but is dead handy for taking toddlers to after stressful shopping trips...slightly further afield there's the Horniman Museum (short bus ride up towards Forest Hill and a do-able walk back downhill) with good aquarium, music room and Busy Bees story time for little ones. In warmer weather the sandpit and playground opposite are also great. Also a short bus ride/do-able walk away are Ruskin Park next to Kings College hospital and Brockwell Park in herne hill, the latter also has a one o clock club and fab water play in warmer weather. Basically it's a fab area for kids! The only think we do lack is a big soft play warehouse or something for those rainy days, but there are good playgroups etc.

Have the green baby one - it's for the buggy but in the early days with my second I used it in other places including bouncy chair and also the Phil & Teds cocoon to make it cosy. No need to buy two. It was a gift but think it was ?38-40. Whatever you do be careful how you wash it - I had a shaped one from JoJo for my first, washed it at 40 and it shrunk, looks like a teddy bear now! Green & Baby do a sheepskin shampoo but I guess main thing is to do on a delicates or cold wash.

I'd def see your GP or the walk in clinic - you might need antibiotics, if you do the GP will make sure they're ones you can take in pregnancy.

aw thankyou forum! reassuring as always. And thanks for the PMs too. Reading these responses makes me think about perhaps putting off looking for a label/diagnosis for a couple of years, and focusing on getting his preschooling right instead. And I take on board that some kids are just spirited, and he may be just that. HH - funnily enough I nearly put in the subject header 'Helena are you out there' as had a feeling you'd have both personal/professional insight to share on this! I agree, in some ways there would be some validation in knowing my gut feeling that he is more extreme than many others is right. Also, and without sounding like an annoying overly indulgent mum, I do sometimes feel that he is not in control of his behaviour, and it's less about naughtiness and more that he really has lost it and actually is scaring himself - yet I end up apologising for him and doing him down to others, which isn't necessarily the right thing to do. As such, Saffron's point about comforting the child once they've passed into the emotional stage and the anger has burned out is a good one, and one of the v few approaches i am having any luck with. Thanks again for all the advice & PMs.

3 and a quarter. He goes to nursery some mornings, they acknowledge he's a handful but we haven't seriously discussed anything more yet. Mind you as he's only there for half a day at at time, although they see some tantrums I'm not sure they see the full gamut that I do. My mum's a teacher and agrees he can be extreme but doesn't think as yet it's necessarilly ADHD. Think will go and talk to a sympathetic GP. It's been making me question next steps re nursery/preschool - Goose Green nursery say their ratio is something like 1:11 which I gather is normal for school nursery, am sure it's fine for most kids but not sure how he'd cope give some of his meltdowns.

Does anyone have experiences with ADHD that they'd be willing to share (PM me if you prefer?)? I am constantly debating with myself whether my son is just highly strung and very energetic, or whether it's something more. have spoken to the health visitor about it but the help on offer in Southwark is quite general - parenting courses etc - so am not quite sure what I'd do to get a diagnosis/support. It may on the other hand just be that I've done a bad job of instilling any disclipine, so maybe am subconsciously making excuses! But I'd be interested to hear people's stories nonetheless.

bluesuperted Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > This is a weird one and most people may know > already, but if you are self employed and don't > earn much money (e.g. I'm a SAHM who does a small > amount of marketing consultancy from home but not > usually enough to pay tax) yet think there is a > chance you will have a(nother) baby then > definitely register as SE and keep paying your > *FULL* NI contributions and do not opt out and get > a small exemptions certificate. I pay full NI > every month, it's a few pounds a week and it means > next time I get pregnant I will definitely be > entitled to Maternity Allowance which is like Stat > Mat Pay for the Self-Employed - ?100ish a year for > almost ?5k maternity pay when the time arises... > good deal! Yes - I did this, in similar circumstances (i.e. fairly low freelance earnings) and it's been a godsend since I've had baby number 2! I try to always buy Sainsburys babywipes - something like ?3 for a pack of 4, 80 wipes in each, much better value than e.g. pampers and I think they're better. Ditto their nappy sacks, so cheap. I also buy the majority of my kids' clothes there, particularly things I know will get really stained (e.g. am weaning baby number 2 so no point putting him in expensive tops!).Although saying that, I do notice that the older the age you're buying for, the less differential in clothes prices between Sainsburys/Asda and e.g. M&S. Sainsburys does periodic offers on baby products and clothes, so worth looking out for those too. My husband is much more astute than I am on e.g. utilities, and uses Moneysavingsexpert and also uswitch to make sure we're on the best deals. With uswitch, I think you get a case of Virgin wine whenever you change utilities, pretty good! I recently sold my old iPhone back to O2 after I'd upgraded, got ?94 for it... And finally - sell everything once you stop using it, it's a great feeling. Look out for cheap/free offers on the forum, we have had so many bargains for the price of a bottle of wine. And look out for flash sales online etc - actually worth those annoying marketing emails, e.g. I did a big shop online at Gap recently and got t-shirts for the kids for ?3 each. Having said all that I am a terrible economist! Really need to try more at it e.g. menu planning but can't find the time/energy.

ha ha, that is classic! annoyingly it only ever seems to be me, my husband or various items of furniture which bear the brunt here!

glad to hear it, midivydale, hope you get some more decent stretches as they help both physically and psychologically (i.e. there is hope!) am away so haven't been able to post but just wanted to say am sorry you had some less than helpful PMs, I had wondered/feared that some might take that approach, but it's so nice that on the whole the posts here have been v supportive and I hope they've been helpful in some way. Omeprazole: we got DMC to prescribe the suspension for quite a while but as someone has said, it's such a hassle with the timings etc that we've recently switched basck to the losec mups. Babu told us most parents find the syrup easier to administer but I must say we actually find the mups easier! and you can mix with a bit of orange juice to help. It is a bit of a hassle dispersing the tablets etc but it means when e.g you travel it's a lot more convenient, and there's not the use by issue. Anyway whichever you choose/try out, you should be able to get either prescribed by your doctor and sourced through a good chemist (we use Lloyds). They def do get better - basically the medicine will ease it but mainly it is time and growth which will help. My son is still quite sick but it doesn't bother him, he's very sunny - no screaming anymore - and though not a great sleeper still, he is def doing longer and longer stretches. hang in there...and as Fuschia says , use any support you can get, and use us if we can help! I'm back next week so do PM if you'd like to meet up. Hey Strawbs and us should form a 2012 reflux support group!

Yes, I was at a wedding once where the woman next to me let her toddler bang cutlery off wine glasses all through the speeches, so I couldn't hear a word of them - that DID annoy me, in my book if your child is noisy at an inappropriate point you remove them. We kept our son quiet during the speeches at a wedding last year as long as we could (feeding him sweets basically) and as soon as he started making noise my husband took him out.

Hi, I have asthma, controlled by two preventative drugs and also salbutamol as needed. IN my first pregnancy it was fine, neither better nor worse, but in my second pregnancy I had two very nasty chest infections in quick succession (albeit earlier in the pregnancy than you are now - think was about 16 weeks or so). I took antibiotics, increased inhaled steroids and then took oral steroids (prednisalone) for the second infection. The GP checked it all out and was v reassuring, and we both agreed it was more important that the baby had a mum with functioning lungs at that stage. However I don't know how effects differ in late pregnancy? I was relaxed as I've take prednisalone quite a lot in my time so wasn't too bothered, but I did read some of the things you mention online and was worried for a bit. But as I say, in the end I concurred with the GP that the main thing was to get my breathing sorted out. I'd go back to your doctor and talk through your concerns if I were you. Good luck, I know how hard it is as pregnancy is wearing enough as it is!

Just realised have rambled and not addressed the OP's question. Was a bit confused as it sounded like they'd made an exception - but then said not to bring the kids to the ceremony or the reception?? so isn't that the same as saying they're not invited or am I missing something? I do totally agree with previous posters that if you don't feel comfortable, you shouldn't go - but bear in mind that it's a way off, and you may be more comfortable with the idea then? You doln't have to decide just yet...

I don't really have a problem with it, it's not what we did when we got married but I respect the couple's choice to do the day their way - as long as they respect their guests' prerogative to not attend if the rule makes life difficult for them. The first time I encountered it (also pre kids) I was quite shocked, but I've been to quite a few now so more used to it. I probably wouldn't have known about the bfing issue pre babies, though as I say we welcomed kids to our wedding...if for whatever reason I had gone for a child-free day, I'd hope any friends in that situation would have approached me to explain, and then exceptions could be made. For me weddings are really about families and all ages, but as I say I do totally get that it's up to the individual. And as it happens I relish the chance to let my hair down at weddings sans children - we left my then 9 mth old for two nights for a wedding and we had a great time, but I know not everyone would feel comfortable with that. We had a situation when I was pregnant with my second when our babysitting arrangements for a child free wedding fell t hrough - so in the end I went on my own. I've done one wedding with my older son since he reached toddlerhood and it was b****y hard work, would not want to repeat it if I possibly could, till he is a lot older! After about 2yrs old, I think weddings are really hard work for the parents and children, unless the couple getting married can afford to really make provision for the kids - and no reason why they should. I did see this done really well at a wedding we went to in France last year, ironically without our toddler! I remember being quite annoyed at my own wedding that a mum came up to me as we were about to be announced at our reception asking for a highchair. She asked and then said 'oh you look lovely, anyway is there one?' - I did feel frankly parents shd have checked beforehand or brought travel highchairs. I still feel like that now, after children.

husband dressed 6 month old in 3 year old's jacket the other day - it nearly fitted... the names thing is terrible, we are not helped by having 3 3 letter monosyllabic abbreviations in our household, which I freely mix up regularly.

well said hellosailor. And just to be clear I was v much joking with my suggestion that mums of good sleepers should lie! I didn't have any of the nice EDF mums in mind when I said that...more thinking of the types you get on e.g. Babycentre, posting about sleep 'problems' and then it turns out their baby is suddenly 'only' sleeping 11 hours a night having previously slept 13...gah! As you say Hellosailor, it is never static. My eldest slept well from 3-9 months, then terribly from 9-16 months, and has had his moments off and on since then. And lordy, he has always been challenging in his waking hours, so yes I think it all balances out. Agree with Saffron this has been a nice & diverse thread. GillandJoe I hope you get some sleep...

ruth - when we were trying to find a new single for baby number 2, after decided i hated the P&T in single mode, I had this dilemma. Have actually had both as had a v old XT I got free on the forum for holidays so could compare. Looked at them both in John Lewis and whilst the XT looked good and I know what its advantages are etc, the babyjogger won out hands down. I absolutely love it and we both wish we'd got it at the start for son number 1. We actually got the old model on sale at Halfords, but I believe the new model has some improvements. The sun canopy is brilliant, it lies practically flat, and the fold is awesome. The only thing it took me a bit of time to get used to is that it is longer than a maclaren (as is virtually any other buggy) but it's still pretty neat and easy on buses etc. It feels comfier than a maclaren and T takes most of his naps in it (stationary), so it must be fairly sleep inducing considering how badly he sleeps in his cot at night! Oh, also, crucially, because of the handle it's a lot easier to handle if you've got a toddler you're trying to grab/hold hands with - can do one handed steer. You do have to buy the raincover separately but that's a pretty small drawback. AND you can get a babyjogger toddler step which am considering at the moment.If you already have a Quest/triumph I'd also say a babyjogger would be a better choice.

Yes! saw that Hadley Freeman piece the other day. Thought it was spot on. The mail continues to get brilliant marketing mileage by spinning it out - saw another article from her husband's perspective online today.

My little one is a bit over six months and nowhere near sleeping through - did get one amazing night but he was teasing us I think! the trouble in our case is that it is not hunger that's waking him, it's either reflux or the legacy of when it was particularly painful, and there's no quick fix to settle him. Sometimes it's every 40-60 minutes and I am beyond exhausted, and have certainly (and unashamedly) tried a very soft/gentle form of sleep training (sort of shush pat but v brief and leaving for up to 5 mins to cry) as I felt the problem was getting worse by me going in to see him the minute I heard him. You're def not alone. Ironically, my first was a pretty good sleeper in the first year or so (did a dream feed of sorts at 11 and would then go through till 6ish from 12 weeks on) and I always tried to keep quiet about that as a lot of my peers had babies who were not sleeping well at all. As such, it really annoys me when people overshare about their great sleepers! Seriously , can't they lie/play it down for us??! I do get all the theory behind sleep patterns etc, and I think if it's a straightforward matter of doing several nightfeeds, that's one thing. But I think if you have lived through really horrendous sleep you can appreciate that it's not something everyone can cope with! I personally found co-sleeping didn't help - do it occasionally at 5am but if he wakes earlier than that he will be just as disturbed in with us. Though again, if it was purely a feeding thing I can see this would be a practical approach. REalise none of this particularly helpful except to show sympathy really. I find lack of sleep turns me into a complete monster, and a good rest cannot be underrated. Hope you manage to get some soon.

we used two fisherprice ones (one upstairs and one downstairs) and found he was happy with that...slings, we ahd a baby bjorn to start with, then switched to a beco gemini, which is similar in style so v easy to use plus upright, quite dear but you can look out for special offers and the resale value will be good. Also can be hired from the slumberoo website if you want to try before you buy.