Belle

Yes sorry - I read the post and thought 'yes I'll be there' but failed to post as much! Def coming. 8ish sounds good. I'm v near the Mag so can aim to get there promptly to hold the table if that helps.

aw Fuschia your twins sound so sweet - sorry and patting each other!!! Hmm - plant pot is indoors! But I get the point. I guess I do need to think about the carrot/stick approach but it's so hard to know if it's sinking in. when he throws his stuff off highchair have started not giving it back straight away (if it's something like his drink that can be given back that is).

Can anyone give me advice on this... Basically we're at the stage where I think that my little boy knows what's going on - knows that some things are 'not allowed' for instance (eg his dummy is restricted to sleeping time but often he'll retrieve one from under the cot and scurry off giggling guiltily when I see what he's done) - but of course it's not like we're conversing or anything. My problem is should I - and if so how - be trying to guide his behaviour a bit. I do instinctively tell him off/adopt firm tones etc when he throws stuff off high chair (can really tell sometimes this is for effect). Equally I do tell him not to grab his wee friends' toy/dummy/food - but should I even bother doing this when he doesn't take any notice and for all I know doesn't understand what I'm saying? I'm just wondering when or how you start with the disclipline. Didn't really want to use that word as it has harsher connotations than what I'm talking about: I mean gentle guidance really! i guess I don't want to turn around when he's 2 and realise I should have been instilling a sense of what's right all the way along, yet at t his stage I do feel a bit silly (and frustrated) saying 'No don't pull out the soil from the plant pot and eat it'. parents of older children (or those at same stage) - what did you do?

that's pretty much how me and my husband feel. It just IS a drag - well a lot of the time - not for everyone I know, I mean there are plenty people who do seem to loooove it all but lord it's hard. I spent the first six months basically telling all my childless friends to stay that way! I think that's the thing - there is a big difference between loving your child, and loving being a parent. Keef Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > > I absolutely adore my daughter, but not sure I'd > say I "enjoy" being a parent, as it's a drag, and > maybe I'm selfish. I sometimes think there is > something wrong with me, as everyone else seems to > think it's absolutely the best thing ever. > > That said, I guess it'll get more fun as she gets > older, and it becomes more fun... Still though, > the thought of having 6!!! :-S

None! Just kidding...am hoping we'll be happy with two, if we make it that far (just one at moment).

That is so true. I must say I found my midwife (from the lanes) v comforting when I finally called it a day on trying with the bf, I was scared to tell her but she was v reassuring. But yes I wish it wasn't so much about one camp or the other but more of a middle way.

Keef - think maybe you're doing what you're accusing others of - I don't see these posts as defensive. if you read my post i had a bit of a mixed time with the course as the making friends bit was the bit that didn't work out - was just saying that I'd question whether you can get the same info elsewhere. The view that NCT isn't worth it is just as valid as any other view and it's quite often voiced on here, don't think people are jumping on the poster - just saying what their experience was.

yep i must say when people say they can get the info elsewhere I'm amazed - I thought I'd read up loads but actually i learned a lot in my course, and that was even with missing the last two classes thanks to my son making an early appearance. I also think there's somethign to be said for the mental preparation (as much as you can prepare that is!) that the course gives you. My teacher was full of little tips and answered all our questions (silly and serious) - can't think where else I'd have got that. For me the dating service side of it was the one bit that didn't work out yet I'd still recommend it.

anna - sorry, I missed that point in the OP's message, my mistake.

baby-led weaning - it will be messy but you will get to eat a meal now and again...apart from some weaning spoons for yoghurt and the odd fruit puree pot (we did blw but supplemented a bit) and long sleeved bibs from jojo maman bebe we didn't have to buy any equipment either.

As well as echoing what others have said, I'd add that given the important role you've had in this lady's life, I should think it would mean a lot to her to see you again before she goes to Switzerland. You don't have to see it as giving your blessing to what she's doing but more as taking an opportunity to properly say goodbye to someone you have cared for (in both senses of the word). My father-in-law died very suddenly about a month ago and it breaks my heart that we didn't have the chance to say goodbye, to tell him he has been a wonderful father and father-in-law and grandpa.

must say my pre-eclampsia experience was mixed bumpkin - took them a while to notice that things like flashing lights, crippling headaches, v swollen ankles and feeling too weak to lift my head off the pillow were probably signs of pre-eclampsia kicking in a bit rather than the aircon etc. I'd no idea it could carry on for a bit after the birth so stupidly didn't connect these things to having pre eclampsia (was also diagnosed late on). they did once bleep an obstetrician for me but he didn't see me for another 36 hrs! So i woudl say push push push and yes even if it's someone not directly connected eg a paediatrician, enlist their help - we did this too and he saved us. We were also moved to a privcate room for the last two nights partly I think because I was on the verge of discharging myself. it meant my hubbie could stay and help which was good as my baby did not sleep at all at night for the first few weeks.

Anna75 - whilst I agree with some of what you're saying, as a fellow formula feeder (incidentally check out the Fearless Formula Feeder blog as it's v good on this stuff - pro choice rather than anti breastfeeding/pro formula, and v well informed http://fearlessformulafeeder.blogspot.com/ ) - I do think to be fair to the original poster that they were asking for input on breastfeeding counselling and what does and doesn't work. So it's kind of a given that those responding are probably keen to breastfeed - in which case I think they should be given all the help they might want. Personally it didn't work out for me and I do have strong views about feeding and choice, but that's for another thread.

we went away when my little boy was four months and in addition to things other have mentioned we took: playmat few toys bouncy chair suntan cream/sunhat etc portable black out blind sling 2-3 grobags baby monitor (easy to forget) calpol Sounds crazy and we couldn't believe we packed the car so full but all those t hings got used! We thought we were mad to take bouncy chair/playmat but at t hat stage our little boy spent most of his time in one or the other so these really kept him happy.

I've heard that th ey've made real improvements to the post natal care there recently so take heart! I know someone who visited a friend there recently and thought it seemed pretty good on the ward. Main thing is as others have said get someone else to be your 'advocate' - I found what little assertiveness I have deserted me in those hazy post natal days so needed my husband to do the bossing for me when necessary.

hee hee, tonight is the best so far - FFJTC gets to show off his cooking skills and then everyone gets the meat wrong in the test. "Pork? No, that's lamb." Think he took it quite personally. Also check out FFGTDB's proud expression as he looks on whilst FFJ cooks.

Did anyone see FFG's interview about his Peckham/Nunhead days in Southwark Life? There were a good few gems in that.

it is on FX at the moment - I think 4 showed it a bit after the whole first season was on FX so yep would make sense if season 2 comes to 4 soon too. They do repeat it later in the week (realise too late for first couple of episodes though).

ooh something I did find useful was the point that if you're near a hospital (which we are here obv) and do need to be taken in - it can actually be quicker or certainly no slower than getting moved to theatre whilst in hospital, as they can prep theatre etc while you're being brought in, will ring ahead to tell them they're bringing you in etc. haven't put this well but th ink someone articulated it better on the homebirth group thread.

hi, I went through this - t hough in the end had to have my baby in hospital. What upset me most was when my mum told friends of her's what my plans were - particularly 'medical' friends - and they were negative about it. I did consider sending her the homebirth website to look at (not sure of exact url, but sure it'll come up if you google it - it's a UK site I think) - but in the end I actually opted to just not talk about it with her and focus more on talking about the pregnancy/future baby, and I urged her not to tell other people my plans as they'd potentially upset her with their reaction. In the end I think she decided to just let me make my own decisions. Exactly like you though, am v close to my mum and she's generally not a bossy mum so I did find it hard, but I just kept reminding her that t his would hardly be an option on the NHS if it wasn't a safe thing to do - and that if any of those involved at the birth: midwife, me, the dad, had doubts, we'd transfer to hospital. Hope this helps, B

yep def - it does work out a bit cheaper to get the litre cartons of SMA but still of course dearer than the powder. We just took the decision that if there was any element of the whole baby maelstrom we could actually make easier, we'd do it (within reason!). It's only for six months, then you're using less milk and after he was 11 months he was onto cows milk.

I'd love to come but am the last in our household to succumb to the vomiting virus (yesterday) so think we s hould stay put for the next day or so. haven't tried bread of life cafe.

must admit that's one of the reasons we stuck with the ready made stuff. Just seemed easier.

It's funny though as from what I've heard the drinking in pregnancy thing in France is way more taboo than it is here. I do think some of her views are (perhaps deliberately) extreme, but it's helpful to see different points of view on parenthood.

Apenn - I never heated my baby's bottles, partly because we started off with donor milk in hospital which was always just defrosted so barely room temperature! I have to say it's my single biggest tip for parents that basically babies don't need it warmed - and there's no real reason for doing it. As you say parents have always done it as a comfort thing, but if your baby will take a room temp bottle then you save yourself so much time (and fewer of those moments where the baby is starving and screaming!). apenn Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > > I read in a book (So That's What They're For that > you don't actually need to heat formula. It's > just done because it's closer to a breastfeed > experience. If your baby will accept the formula > cold or at room temp, apparently this is fine. > The book even recommended that if you can get your > baby to accept it this way all the better since it > will make life easier. Don't know if there are > any mums out there who've done this? > > Regarding breasfeeding cafes, there is also one on > Barry Rd on Mondays (never been). Here's a link > to the breasfeeding support sheet I received from > my workshop at Kings with details for all the > local cafes and helpline numbers: > > http://www.southwarkpct.nhs.uk/documents/5333.pdf > > And looks like all the same info on the NCT > website: > http://www.nctpregnancyandbabycare.com/in-your-are > a/southwark/slbfeed/support > > Best, > -A