DJKillaQueen Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Of far more interest to me (in the nurture debate) > is some evidence that shows that during childhood, > and in some adults too, the brain deals with > extreme trauma in some peopple, by turning that > trauma into a pleasurable experience. It's one > theory behind why some abused children become > themselves abusers. In some rape victims for > example, rape instead of continuing to be a > traumatic memory will become a fantasy - not one > that they want to act out necessarily - but the > psychological switch is made all the same. i can say in at least one case i know this to be the case. my child was abused and the abuser themself was abused as a child. they said the same - that their abusive experience became confused over time and they began to feel guilty because when they thought of their abuse, they felt pleasure as well as pain or grief. they also said they began to fantasize about the abuse in a positive way and were conflicted about their abuser, even though they knew it was wrong, hence the guilt. in their case the abuse they inflcited on my child was the same thing they themself haad suffered and spent years fantasizing about so it did become something they acted out during stressful periods. i should also say that they spent a great deal of time fighting the negative thoughts and that what they fantasized about was not regarding children. so not all child abusers have a direct attraction to children, there are many factors ie control, opportunity, anger, no sexual boundaries... i honestly think a huge part of the answer lies in two things.. 1) to get rid of the stigma around abuse on a family/community/culture level so enabling the secrecy to disappear 2) to get into the head of the abuser and find out what causes the crime to occur. this would be from many angles including i suppose, biology/nurture/psychology i have no idea how to do this but i know that i had he chance to talk to the abuser in my case and hear the process of how he can to do what he did. not an easy listen but those kind of conversations give insight into the mentality behind the crime. we have enough anger and uproar, what is needed is a non emotive approach i think.. i also agree that paranioa and over protectiveness doesn't do much good, most abuse happens with those who are trusted and thus we are not concerned about those individuals and don't protect against them as we honestly shouldn't have to. we can arm ourselves and our children (thos who are old enough to understand..) with knowledge but the sad fact is that it may only prevent repeat incidents, not the initial attacks.. sorry for rambling, i hope that was a valid contribution
