The Nappy Lady

jcw, a lot of families move out the year in the final year of primary school - I have heard of year 6 being half the size when school returns in September in some instances. This also has an effect on primary school OFSTED reports. I guess it just comes down to luck as to whether your childrens friends stay or go - from my daughters school (Ivydale) pupils seem to go to any one of 18 secondary schools in the area so if we stay here she is going to end up making as many new friends as she loses I think.

Simonthebeaver we've just got our first f&f railcard & started to do more visits by train now our two are 2 & 6, agree I'd have found it tricky until now.

Zoe, Precious is one of mine too! Also 'Slipping through my fingers' by Abba - sorry if already posted can't follow all the links from my phone. It makes me cry every time I listen to it......Loving this thread, was going to share a couple of poems my Mum wrote, one after each daughter was born - will dig them out later.... Edited to add....ahhh Gwod, well done, posted the link to the exact song just moments before I wrote this!

Snigger....Mellors, that's hilarious....yes, I have days like that too, though usually feel better post 10am & a strong coffee >:D< Edited to add, maybe we need some other badges that say "I'm a Mummy on the edge"?

....oh and one that says FEDD just for Keef and Iain Easy of course......

My thoughts on this; If the badge/ribbon or whatever is on a buggy, but you are inside at a playgroup without buggy then that doesn't really work. I love the ribbon idea, but I think it would have to be something unique - if it were the breast cancer badge I wouldn't go up to another girl and say 'Hello, are you wearing that because of the ED Forum Mum's thread', but if I saw someone wearing something that was subtle, but distinctive enough to be pretty sure it was 'our sign' I would definitely approach them. So, not sure where that leaves us? I'm thinking either we buy a roll or distinctive ribbon (blue/red/purple with white dots or whatever) and a pack of little gold safety pins and make our own, OR we go for a badge that is distinctive but unique. I would wear one that said "I like biscuits" or "Do you like biscuits?" as I think all this says is that I've read the thread and am happy to be approached, not that I am a sad loser (???!!!), but equally it could just be a badge with a cartoon baby on it, or a smiley face, or anything....a secret sign....the letters FEDM (Friendly East Dulwich Mum)....oooh, getting flashbacks to my days of wishing I was in the Secret Seven now. LOL. :))

Yes, we got ours from there too, really good choice of trees.

Pickle....I'm so cold....can I squeeze myself into your suitcase????? ;-)

It depends a bit of what the future holds, but I find the car is essential for me at times because of how full my life is - e.g. sometimes on a work day my schedule is; Do school run with the girls on foot Walk back home, drive toddler to childminders, with dog in boot ready. Straight out of childminders (by the park) and walk the dog for half an hour Back into the car, drive home to drop off the dog, Straight back out the door to drive to work in order to be there for 10am Finish work at 3.15pm Drive home for 3.30pm school run on foot Bring DD1 back from school, then possibly take her to Beavers/Gymnastics or whatever in the car - fairly essential in the winter when it is dark/raining etc. During or after said club, or from home drive with DD1 to pick up toddler from childminder Drive back home just in time for dinner, or playtime etc. pre bath and bed. Phew...now when the dog isn't in the equation I will often cycle with toddler in the bike seat to drop her off and go straight on to work, and when I'm not working so no time pressure I will walk the dog to the park etc. but this isn't always possible. I genuinely aim to only use the car when I feel I have to, and even so it is a lot more often that I would like. I guess what I am trying to say is that certainly as life gets busier and more hectic, and more children, plus maybe work comes back into the equation for you, you may well be very glad of having at least the option of a car. As others have said, I would try to pass your test now if you can, as in the future it will only be harder with less free time for the lessons, and probably less cash to invest in it too. Good luck!

Ooh, I like that idea, could ice lots of flowers on the top of the cake so butterflies are floating over them, nice one Gwod, may steal that one for next year!

I always google whatever cake I'm making for images and then copy the one I feel I can manage - i.e. do a Goggle search on 'Butterfly Birthday Cake' and you should find lots of images. I had to do a Tiger cake for my daughter this year, and was really amazed by how well it came out, even if more like the cartoon tiger off the Frosties (?) adverts than a real one. You can order fondant icing in any colour you like on line and it is very easy to use, though probably for a butterfly using sparkly glitter stuff and sweets will work better anyway. Don't be too hard on yourself, I think the little ones always love whatever we produce, and don't notice the flaws that we see ourselves. Good luck!

Sillywoman, your post brought a tear to my eye, especially the bit about the codeword to use at baby groups (I really felt for Gussy when I read that bit in her post too....Gussy, come and join me one Friday at my local group if you like, I will talk to you)..... The irony in all this is I realise that I sit there feeling too shy to talk to the Mums I don't know at baby group, when in all likelihood they are sitting there feeling equally lonely and too shy to speak to me. What a crazy world we live in. Mind you, I rarely get to sit and talk to anyone for long these days as I have to dive after C and stop her from painting another child / trashing the carefully built block tower / stealing a toy / eating playdoh etc. etc........

Hmmmm, I'm really lucky with my MIL (and her husband) she is a wonderful lady, happy to help out, and generally very supportive. Last time my childminder was on holiday she drove up to pick little C (then about 20 months) up and took her back to Kent with her for 2 nights, then brought her back to me later in the week. She's always been good about having the children, and when O was 4 she had her for an entire week so we could go to Spain and have a 'proper' holiday (though I was about 8 months pregnant, so not partying much! They then flew out to Spain with O to join us for the 2nd week, and because she is naturally an early riser she was always happy to be up with O in the mornings. Little things can make such a big difference. My own Mum is 20 years older than my MIL, and at 81 finds it hard to help as much as she would like to. I know it frustrates her, and at times I get frustrated that she doesn't seem to notice simple ways to help me any more (partly I guess because I remember just how dynamic she was not so long ago). I know that any lack of help now is down to her age rather than lack of willingness. When I ask she will always do her best, but sometimes I am too proud (stupid and stubborn) to actually say, "please can you do X". I know she looks at what my MIL does to help and feels sad that she can't do the same any more, sometimes I wish I'd got on with having the children sooner so she could have been more involved. The other thing I find with my Mum is that she has forgotten what it is like to have little children around to a certain extent as there really aren't any other toddlers in the family now, and I think this is probably true of a lot of Grandparents, they just don't remember what it is like trying to cope with a young family. I am very lucky, because I also have a wonderful Sister who is 10 years older and adores my girls (as she only had boys herself) she are surrogate daughters to her really, and a doting Godmother, who visits very regularly. Not to mention a great support network amongst our neighbours and other school Mum's. It is amazing what a difference it can make just having someone you can leave the children with for 5 minutes whilst you dash off for that loaf of bread you forgot, or to make you a cup of tea and a 10 minute chat when you've had a really bad day. I think it is incredibly hard these days when families are often so far apart, we are raising children without the traditional network of family around us to provide the support we all need. What I have found though, is that it is a very common problem in London, and if you are lucky you will hopefully be able to develop what we tend to call a 'London family' - local friends and neighbours who will provide at least some of that support. We had a head start because we have lived in this house for 15 years now, so were well established before the girls came along, but I think it is something that works really well, and if your children do get in at the local school this can really help. Of course you don't 'click' with everyone you meet, but if you can find a couple of families close by that you connect with it can make a big difference. We have one family over the road who also have 2 girls and the children do sleepovers sometimes at weekends, so we'll have their girls one weekend, overnight and through until midday the next day, and then they will have ours the next. We are just about getting to the point where little C will be able to be included, so we really will be able to get back to having a full on lie in again when ours go to theirs...can't wait! For those of you who really don't get any help or support I think you are amazing to cope, truly.

Well, I'd estimate that I'd only have about 1 black back of 'general' waste, so I'd fit that in a single blue box I guess, in a tied up bag, or in the top of my converted main bin in a tied up bag, and take it out on collection day, but not sure if they would take it then. This is the problem isn't it - avoiding the bin men getting confused if we all start doing different stuff.

Generally working really well for me, I haven't run out of the bags to line my kitchen caddy, but if I did would be happy to pick some up next time I do a supermarket shop to see me through until more are delivered, as they are not expensive - less than 5p each. Eventually we HAVE to have either a blue wheelie bin, or the facility to convert our existing green bin, but I can understand why this needed to wait until after the pilot. Yet again this week I was left with quite a bit of paper, plastic containers etc. strewn across my pavement after the recycling team had been along. I'm sure having to deal with the blue boxes adds to this problem of dropped rubbish. One thing I am VERY happy about is that after having Saturday morning bin collections for the past 10+ year, everything is now collected on a Wednesday, so I have at least got the vague chance of a lie in one of these days - thank you for that, I must say I felt it was about time we had a rota change!

Hope you got hold of them Goldilocks. I always left messages on the office number, and only used the pager when I was in labour, but I think you can use it at other times, you just don't say in the 'in Labour, Urgent' bit when you leave the message!

I remember when my first daughter was about a month old walking her around the park and seeing other Mum's sitting together with their little ones and feeling SO lonely. I realised I needed to make some friends and fast, and was really lucky to meet a great group of girls via the Townley Road Clinic parenting sessions. Looking back I don't know what I'd have done without them, and still keep in touch with a fair few of them even now 6 years on. I know from discussions we've had since then that they thought I was massively confident, which I really didn't feel at the time, and actually I felt quite intimidated by some of them, so I suspect it is a fairly common to experience these self doubts, especially when you are thrown into the 'new world order' that comes along with a newborn baby. Facebook is the thing that has really made me realise how 'small' my world is these days. It is hard to think what to post other than stuff to do with my girls. I've thrown myself into being a Mum so completely, and between that and work there isn't really any space, or energy in my life to do other stuff. I'm always up for the EDF Family Room Drinks, but when it comes to it I am just to tired to go sometimes. I think what I hate most these days is that I very rarely feel that I am totally on top of anything. I'm juggling so many balls, I sort of run the home, but it could be cleaner, the meals I prepare could be better & more varied, the girls could be played with more/read to more/helped with school work more. I always seem to be late for everything.......it seems to be a case of just scraping by mostly rather than doing a really good job of anything. I try to turn this around and congratulate myself on all the stuff I AM getting done, but when tired, full of a head cold (as I am right now), or harrassed it is hard to put a positive spin on things! Thank goodness though for good friends, and this Family Room, both of whom remind me that all this is normal, and that very few parents feel any different.

Is Christ Church the one at the top of Barry Road, by the Plough etc?

Thanks Ali, that's good to know. Would imagine by 'hot' 60 degrees would be fine - is that the temp you went with?

Dear Mumum, Next demo is Wednesday 15th December, 10am at Ivydale Surestart Centre in Nunhead (entrance is on Bellwood Road, just off Ivydale Road). After that it will be 20th January 2011 (eek). Between now and then would recommend an on line visit to www.thenappylady.co.uk and complete the Tailored Advice Questionnaire to get help on which nappies are best for you. Then when you come to see me you can see all the options, but take particular note of the ones you've had recommended. All info you could ever want on dry pailing, washing & using cloth nappies is on the website, plus links to You Tube demo videos. Dry pailing just means keeping in a nappy bucket without any liquid in it (so i.e. not soaking). These days because we mostly use shaped nappies with elastic, velcro etc. it is better for the nappies not to be left soaking - things like nappysan tend to attack elastic etc. it was different back in the days when everyone used flat terry squares. Call or text me in the days leading up to the December (or January) demo just to double check it is on. Best wishes, Molly 07977 130318

Yes, once a month, or for me only needed to do twice in 4 years of nappy use. Don't want to get into the Eco debate but consider manufacture, packing, shipping, landfill/disposal costs. Posies environmental footprint is HUGE.

A 90 degree wash without any detergent can often fix it. Would def check bumg website as it is a common but easy to fix problem. Be careful not to use anything that might damage waterproof outer given it is all part of the nappy - some chemicals can wreak havoc. Bumg should have good advice though.

Kristymac, this is why I am holding off - little one is only just 2 & I figure better if she catches it when older, but having had 1 family holiday badly disrupted by CP it is a worry. My eldest was fine when she had it at 25 months - not poorly at all, just infectious but each child is different and some really suffer with it I know.

Pebbles. If he gets itchy give liquid Piriton. Am debating g whether now is the time to try to get the dreaded CP over and done with as it is hanging over our heads too, so to speak. Molly

I think if reflux babies normal show a lot of distress as very painful, but worth checking.