The Nappy Lady

Sillywoman - we are in the same boat - hubby just over the limit so we'll lose child benefit, but I only work part time, and actually it is really only to 'keep my hand in' until DD2 starts school - little left after I've paid childcare costs. We can cope without the money, although it is a big help with cost of childcare for our little one so I can actually go out to work 3 days a week, BUT I am so cross, like you, that a couple who both work and are each under the threshold, but with a much greater total income will not lose the benefit whilst we will. What I don't understand is this; If they are going to take away our benefit based on my hubby's income (details of which they will get via Inland Revenue I presume), why can they not get details of our total JOINT income, and then apply the rule of who does and does not get the benefit? I accept we need to accept the loss, but not the way it has been applied so unfairly. I have been trying to work out whether we'd be better off if I got a job back in the City part time, and hubby went part time so we are both under the threshold, share childcare between us around work hours, so no childcare costs and then still get child benefit. I suspect we would be, and how daft is that? I think the whole thing is being rushed through and done really badly. If you want people to knuckle down and accept the hard times in order to help get the country back on track then at least implement the change in a sensible and fair way.

I think salad is a really tricky thing to get them to eat. Has anyone else discovered tomoberries in Sainsburys? They are tiny tomatoes, about the size of a Blueberry.....suddenly my big girl, who refused raw tomato no matter what bribes I offered has decided she likes them, but ONLY these little tiny ones....I reckon it's a start. Partly they like the fact you can pop them in your mouth, and then make them go 'POP' when you crunch down on them with your molars!! My two year old will eat loads of breakfast, but only if I sit down next to her with MY bowl of muesli, complete with fresh banana and grapes chopped into it. I think she ends up eating more of it than I do (but then I eat her porridge). Other than that my main bribery involves holding Pepper Pig to ransom (does that make me a bad person?). Well done Pickle! GSJ57 I will DEFINITELY be using your trick in about 10 years time.

Yes, all I have read suggests planned C section experience much better/different from an emergency one. Really hope you find a happy medium Snowboarder, whatever you decide. Xx

littlemissindulgence, this is 100% totally normal, and usually starts pretty much as soon as babies start to roll. They do get over it and become compliant again later on - you can literally say "come here and have your nappy changed" and they will toddle over to you and lie down (good times :)) ......) at least most of the time, if not always. In the meantime, you have a few options, you can try doing it the gentle way - by offering her normally 'banned' toys when on the change mat - and change regularly - in order to distract her. Turn change time into a general tickle game etc. but to be totally honest here is what I would recommend; To change nappy; Sit on floor on your bottom with legs out in front of you, in a V shape. Place baby at right angles to you, with your thigh over her chest to pin her down, and her feet in the direction of your other leg. You can then change her quickly and easily, with both hands free, without her moving, and even if she protests it will all be a lot quicker and less frustrating/traumatic than the general baby rolling and crawling away, poo everywhere, stressed out red sweaty Mummy thing.... Usually you only have to do it for a week or two and they stop playing up about nappy changes anyway because they realise you've got them beaten! One of the best tips I've ever been given, handed down through generations of Nappy Ladies! I know it probably sounds a bit harsh, but I promise you it is the way to go - and hopefully a few others on here that I've told about it before will post in a while to back me up on it. Let me know how you get on, or if you're not sure exactly what I mean re how to do it, feel free to ask. Molly

cate - yes, the garden waste and food waste all go together in the big brown bin. It will all will be composted (the food bags are degradable. It will all end up as lovely, top quality compost for some happy plants and worms to reside in!

Well said Sparkle - my nappies almost always dry out on the line, or on a radiator rack (lovely fast drying in the winter with guaranteed heat source via the rads!). The TD option is really for stuff like jeans etc. that take AGES in the winter on an airer in the middle of the kitchen, good to have the option if I get really fed up of waiting for stuff to dry. Also, if you have a suitable place for one a Sheila's Maid is brilliant - one of those wooden racks that hangs off the ceiling and you can raise and lower it as needed. Oh to have a utility with one of those in - my idea of heaven (sad or what).

Rogue Apostrophe - fair point that not everyone has the leak problem, I was commenting really on this thread, where leaks were mentioned as a common problem until people found a brand that suited them, and also my own experience with my first daughter, who was in disposables for the first 8-10 weeks of her life. I had major leaks pretty much every day with her, where as once in cloth I only had 3 leaks in the rest of the first year and was truly amazed by the containment. Whenever I do nappy talks and ask for a show of hands I'd say 8 out of 10 parents are experiencing something similar problems and think it is normal to change an entire outfit (and sometimes throw it away!) at least once a day. My experience was that if you are out and about with a small baby and you get a leak like that it can be a real nightmare, and it was the main reason I decided to use cloth nappies full time, and not just at home as I'd initially planned. I'm really pleased that you at least tried cloth nappies, and appreciate, as I said earlier that they are not for everyone (each of us can only do what we can on the environmental front). I did manage to continue to use them, even after going back to work full time when my first was 10 months old, and through until potty training, but it did require some organisation - packing her bag the night before for the childminder, and putting the nappy wash on every 2nd night, but I am naturally quite an organised person, so it worked OK for me. The first 6 months is the time you go through the biggest volume of nappies & wipes, and hopefully most of us do not go back to work until nearer the year, so it is worth thinking about cloth for that first year, even if you switch to disposables later because it makes life easier. Apart from anything else it saves a lot of money (good given that a lot of us are about to lose our child benefit). ?700 to ?1,000 per child on disposables vs. an average of ?250 on cloth total (covers future children too) and ?400 over 3 years on wet wipes versus ?7.50 on washable wipes total (again covers future children). Anyway, apologies again, no intention of hijacking the thread, but I think it is good to weigh up all options. I think cost and lack of leaks are big pros!

Cate, you have to telephone to request the small brown kitchen caddy that the bags go with. The number is listed early on in this thread, or on the leaflet you got about the trial. You can use the newspaper bags if you want, or the blue boxes, but you don't need to sort out all the plastic/paper/cans/glass any more you can just put it all together into the bag/blue box (or request a larger blue wheelie bin (as mentioned on page 5 of this thread), though at the moment the helpline don't seem to be clued up on this, so you may want to wait a day or so for the message to filter through.....

sallyw - I'm confused as to why you think recycling our food waste into compost that can be used in this country is a bad thing? That is the only change to the existing recycling scheme. Re the plastic & paper waste - do you know for sure that Southwark waste ends up in 3rd world countries (not arguing, just asking the question)? I've been to see where our general waste (from the green bins - do wish they were not green sigh, so confusing) goes, and given that Southwark are charged by weight for disposing of it, which filters through to council taxes etc. I'd have thought we would all want to reduce that as much as possible. As for landfill - well given that we live on an island I'm sure you don't think that is the answer either. Sophiesofa - re the paper & other waste. Certainly those within the trial don't have to sort any of it any more, I don't know for the rest of you, but maybe James will be able to clarify? James - would love to know where all our recycled paper, plastic etc. goes to before and after processing....if you happen to know?

Hope not Alieh! I do think when you go looking on the internet you'll often find negative stuff - and more people will be bothered to go back to put a negative post up than a positive one. Fast spin speed is a definite bonus, I agree, wouldn't be without that option now.

Yes, I have a friend (family of 6) who has the LG with the steam cycle and she loves it. I very nearly bought it, but some of the reviews I found on line worried me a bit in terms of the machine having some mechanics that were not very robust. But of course you can almost always find bad reviews about anything if you look hard enough (though couldn't find any about the Meiles anywhere...that almost swayed me, and what finally made my mind up were two reviews I found by actual washing machine engineers - both of whom said every machine except the Meile is pretty much built to be scrapped after 2-3 years use, and that Meile are the only ones you can repair without fail. The LG was definitly a close runner up for me though.

Phew - thanks. I know cloth isn't for everyone but can't help but feel depressed sometimes about the waste & wondered if people really were chucking nappies because they had 1 wee on them. I've tried not to post on this thread (sitting on my hands!!) but....if anyone does want to try cloth I have kit you can borrow for free - enough to use for an entire day (all pristine stuff if you're wondering!). I promise you that leaks will be a thing of the past - disposables really are RUBBISH by comparison, which is the main reason I won't use them - nothing convenient about poo all over clothes in my opinion! Also if Southwark do implement 2 weekly bin collections everywhere after the trial bins with disposables in are going to get really yucky. Sorry - will slip away now - hangs head in shame at being unable to keep trap shut during this discussion......

LOL yep had huge washing machine thread going in here when my ten year old whirlpool broke last year (or early this year can't remember now). After A LOT of deliberation I've ended up with the Meile washer dryer. It isn't huge capacity, but washes brilliantly, is guaranteed parts & labour for 5 years and is the most highly Environmentally rated machine I could find. I don't often tumble dry, but it is good to have the option & it is the only washer/dryer I'd invest in as I know they generally have a bad reputation for going wrong. We are a family of 4 with 1 in cloth nappies still (do shout if you need help on that front), and I find the 5kg capacity fine. Hope this helps, do ask if more questions. Oh, just to add - it is a lot of money I know, but I reckon it will pay off in the long term as these machines seem to pretty much last for ever. Not sure if buying washer & dryer as separate items would be any less expensive, if space in posh new utitity is not a huge issue!! Molly

Would you really throw a disposable away because it has 1 wee on it......really?

I went through a phase with my then 5 year old where EVERY day when I picked her up from school we'd have tantrums, sulking or shouting, or sitting down on the pavement refusing to move etc. (where I'd keep going and leave her behind if safe to do so!). All this of course in front of all the other parents/friends who were also collecting their children. I'd get to school all pleased to see her and 10 minutes or so later I'd be at home feeling fed up, demoralised, upset with her, and as if I was a bad Mummy. It was awful. It was often because she had 'arranged' after school playdates with friends etc. with no consultation with me that couldn't go ahead of course. It got better slowly, but then we had a couple of incidents this year when they started back. I had to sit down with her and really talk through how horrible it was, how it made me feel etc. I also said that if it continued all after school play dates would stop for good, and also that all play dates had to be by prior arrangement, not on the spur of the moment. This really has done the trick (phew). I haven't had a single issue since then, and she's clearly making an effort - running to hug me when I pick her up etc. That's the GOOD thing about this age, at least you can reason with them and explain things more, but we still have some major emotional highs and lows. Meanwhile, her little sister, 2 this Sunday (yay) is taking it all in and learning fast :-S

Hiya, check out the activity schedule on this link; http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?29,527698 Hope it helps! Molly

It is really confusing, but I'm told we are just supposed to click on the links which were our main reasons for using cloth nappies on that page that the link goes too - it isn't obvious I agree. I gather they can then measure the number of click throughs done over the past few days for each category. Hope that helps. I was baffled too, seems it has all been done in a rush (as with most things council/government related it seems). Molly

sanity girl - we started out saying Mum & Dad had to have a 'big cuddle' and have taken it gently from there if that helps! Two more books I've got that are good; There's a House Inside my Mummy (more as a discussion point to get siblings into the mindset for having a new baby in the house) Usborne Flip-Flaps Book - How are babies made? This is a more grown up book, but fine for a 5/6 year old. You could read it to a younger child and just pick out the bits you wanted to. It has lift up flaps with things like a picture of a Mum with a bump, and you lift the flap to see the bump much bigger...or baby in the womb at 6 weeks, lift the flap to see baby at 8 weeks etc. ISBN for that one is 978-0-7460-2502-4 Whilst on the subject - though this is a slightly different thing, this Babette Cole book is also great (though we still skip a couple of bits at the moment) - all about growing up, and what happens at puberty etc; http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hair-Funny-Places-Babette-Cole/dp/0099266261 Molly

Just found the entire book on line as a slide show....check it out...sooo funny....especially the page "some ways that Mummies & Daddies fit together".... http://www.authorstream.com/Presentation/kidsqueen-117992-mummy-laid-egg-book-teaching-education-ppt-powerpoint/

Yep - same here. Having 2nd baby when her big sister was just over 4 years old prompted a lot of questions! She wasn't here when C was born (sleepover across the road), but saw the pool go up, and the photographs - not graphic, just showing me in pool holding C, with cord still attached etc. She took it all in her stride (though didn't like the umbilical stump at all - was all keen to change nappies initially, then didn't want to do it 'til the cord had dropped off)! This is a FANTASTIC book I can highly recommend; http://www.ciao.co.uk/Mummy_Laid_an_Egg_Babette_Cole__5291997 You're welcome to borrow my copy if you like to see how you find it. It explains it all in a funny, gentle way. I found little ones seem to take in just as much as they need to, and the rest kind of bypasses them until they are ready for it. I'm so with Chantelle on this - if you simply grow up 'knowing' it is never a big deal really. Good luck!

Back in the days when I had a cleaner (dreamy sigh), I paid her for 3 hours but she only actually did 2 hours, and it always slightly annoyed me. I used to try to leave a list of 'extra' things to be done if there was time. I think it is really difficult to find someone who cleans well, and to the standard you would do it yourself. In the end, at that time I decided she did a decent job, and given what I was paying her I'd live with it. I suspect it is fairly common practice. I do envy those of you who have fantastic cleaners who do always go the extra mile.

As you may be aware Defra is undertaking a review of UK waste policies. The new coalition government says it wants the UK to reduce its waste. We believe that raising awareness of real nappies is an important way of achieving this. RNfL is responding to Defra?s call for evidence and we are inviting you to participate. Please visit this link and click on your top reasons for choosing real nappies. http://www.realnappiesforlondon.org.uk/why/ The deadline for calls for evidence is Wednesday 7th October so if you?d like to vote please do it NOW. It will only take a few seconds. If you are in touch with other people who may like to participate please pass on this email. We want to demonstrate just how many people care about real nappies, are happy to use them and the reasons why. If you have more detailed comments you?d like me to include please email me: [email protected] Many thanks Hilary (from Real Nappies for London Voucher Scheme).

I got mine at The Baby Show at Olympia - but they are the same as these; http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Alphabet-Bean-Bags--Little-Bags-of-Fun--Great-Resource!_W0QQitemZ330452218797QQcmdZViewItem?rvr_id=149418926644&rvr_id=149418926644&cguid=1ea779cc1290a0aad3e5baa5ffccb865 Just did a Google to find them. I got mine on an offer - buy 1 bag and get the other bag half price, you may find something similar on line if you hunt around. Molly x

I don't think anyone is endorsing drinking, or access to alcohol/drugs at that age, they are just saying it is possible that they may come across these things at a party, or elsewhere. Maybe inevitable is the wrong word. I hope it never happens at a party under my roof, but equally I can't imagine searching every 14 year old girl who comes into my house for a sleepover with my daughter etc. I don't think you can rely on controlling the situations and environments they get into, better to try to educate your child on what is right and wrong, and 'why' doing this stuff is wrong/dangerous etc. Sometimes the only way a young person learns is to find out for themselves. I well remember a girl who was top of the class, and considered to be a 'goody goody' getting so drunk she ended up in casualty on a drip. Horrible, but I never, ever saw her drunk again. Again, I'm not endorsing this, and really hope I never see, or know a 14 year old who ends up in that kind of mess.

My experience of this (with great knowledge now I've done it twice!! :-S) is that 2nd time around the tantrums are much, much easier to ignore/be chilled out about. It is all about control, and also getting your attention. These days I almost always just put her down and walk away. Within moments she's usually coming to me, saying sorry and doing what I wanted her to do in the first place without any problems. It doesn't always work, but I'd say I have an 85% success rate with this approach. I really wasn't brave or confident enough first time around and pandered a lot more, and in the end it just drags the tantrum out for longer. When I know she's very tired, or genuinely upset I find diversion works best - for examply if she's saying "No" about doing something - say going in the bath - rather than get into a dialogue about why she needs to get in etc. I will just ignore what she's saying and do something like getting a favourite doll and putting it in and saying "ooooh, dolly what a lovely bath you're having, shall I wash your bottom now" etc. etc.....next thing I know C will be there saying "My Dolly, I do it" or similar having forgotten all about the battle she was gearing up for. The thing I HATE is when I'm in the kitchen trying to get breakfast done pre school run, or dinner out the way etc. and she starts holding my legs and whining for a cuddle/carry etc. The other day I said "I don't like that noise, if you're going to cry go and sit in the hall" and bless her if she didn't go and sit on the bottom step of the stairs and have a good cry....(making me feel awful of course). Still, food on the table soon after and I called her and offered a cuddle, dried her eyes, and 2 minutes later she was sitting up and eating dinner as happy as larry. Such mood swings in quick succession, it is hard to know if you're coming or going sometimes isn't it. Terrible 2's definitely start at about 18 months in my opinion, and they are exhausting. All I can say is.....they do come out the other side....my lovely 6 year old is proof of that (most of the time)!