The Nappy Lady

I let the housework slip for a year, only doing what I could when I could, with hubby pitching in when it got so bad he couldn't stand it (not dirt but stuff all over the place etc). and you know what....when I got back onto a weekly cleaning schedule (by putting baby with a childminder for the day), the house went straight back to normal.....so nothing was lost. Frankly it makes me wonder why I bother so much about it. Cleaning can wait, babies can't...and your kids wont look back and remember what an awful childhood they had because the house was a mess, but would remember if Mum was always busy cleaning and never had time to play/read a book/cook with them etc. That's what I keep telling myself anyway! Molly

gwod, Very interesting - did you mix bottles and breast from day 1 and did they accept any teat on the bottle? So funny the way each baby can be so different. Molly

Hi ClareC, It is almost certainly a growth spurt, entirely normal and usually lasts a few days at a time. It will happen on and off and few times in the coming weeks. The best thing to do is just settle in with a good book or some DVDs and feed away. Make the most of it because in a years time you wont get 5 minutes to sit and relax believe me (spend most days running after my toddler and it is exhausting!). General advice is to wait to introduce a bottle at 6 weeks because if you do it earlier it can cause nipple confusion. My personal experience is that by 6 weeks my daughter was so used to breast feeding she simply would not take a bottle. With No.2 I tried with a bottle sooner, but she still rejected it. If you are determined enough I think you can persevere and find a nipple (edited to say sorry, I mean a teat) that suits your baby, but I could never be bothered frankly. All the sterlising, mixing up feeds etc. just seems so much more hassle than breast feeding which is always there, on tap and the right temperature. But I appreciate there are reasons why people do need to be able to give bottle feeds too. Your body will adapt to your daughter's demands, and will produce more milk for her, so don't worry about that. As you say you can see she is growing and doing fine, so no reason to worry, or to think you HAVE to top her up with a bottle (unless she is failing to thrive and you are given medical advice to do so, which is an entirely different matter). All babies are different too when it comes to breast feeding, my first would feed for an hour, then go 3-4 hours. My 2nd was a 'snacker' she'd be on and off the breast all the time - a 15 minute feed, a half hour sleep, wake up for another 15 minute feed. It seemed to work for her though - the Midwife had to weigh her 3 times when she came to check her at a week old because she couldn't believe my little 7'10 bundle of joy had put on so much weight so fast - by 3 weeks old she was an ounch short of 10lbs! Hope this reassures you a bit. Molly

Hi anna_r First time around I had very sore nipples for the first week or so - used to wince and count to 10 when baby latched on, and remember wearing those breast shells to keep fabric from touching them and to let air get to them. After a 4 year gap I suspected it would be as sore all over again - given that have something attached to your nipple for heaven knows how many hours a day but it wasn't anything like as bad. I don't remember any real soreness at all this time around thank goodness. I think maybe (racking my brain) one nipple was bit tender on one day, but that would be about it. I got the afterpains 2nd time around - your uterus has to work a lot harder to contract down and breastfeeding stimulates this, so pain can often be worse when feeding. Make sure you've got plenty of paracetamol in the house just incase. Mine woke me in the night a couple of times - felt like very bad period pain - and I had to get up and go and take some paracetamol - so annoying when baby is sleeping and you still end up waking up for some other reason. It only lasted a few days though - maybe 4 or 5 after the birth. They do get worse with each baby you have (so my Mum says - she's had 6!!), because each time it is harder work for the uterus to contract back down to it's normal(ish) size. Molly x

No worries, I do hope things improve soon, must be horrible and frustrating to have your baby being woken up by the work. Molly

Aw, poor girl, glad to hear she is better now, and (sort of) letting you brush her teeth! :))

Lorraine, Baby C was like this a couple of weeks back too, and guess what??......last night I discovered she has a molar!!!! So.....8 teeth at the front and 1 huge molar at the back. How random! Maybe B is on a mission to sprout a few more pegs. Molly xx

Very true (though no first hand experience as I couldn't get either of mine to take a bottle!). But I think F was only trying to say that it can lead to problems, not that it definitely will if you see what I mean. Anyway, I'm not really placed to advise on this because I was one of the lucky ones who found the whole process very easy, other than the usual painful nipples etc. for the first week or two first time around. It almost felt like my baby's had read a manual whilst in the womb and knew exactly what to do, I swear in her own way baby O was saying "come on Mum, just give me the nipple and I'll teach you how to do it"! I have a friend with twins who exclusively breast fed for the first 2 weeks, and was almost on her knees. At which point she introduced one bottle of formula at bedtime which her other half gave while she expressed. He then gave the expressed milk at the next feed, which left her able to sleep from 9pm until about 2am when they would 'swap shifts'. It made all the difference and allowed her to get some much needed sleep. One of the biggest learning curves in parenthood is however much you plan how you are going to do it all beforehand you never really know for sure until they come along and blow your best laid plans apart eh! 2nd time around I thought I 'knew' how I parent, but I find I've done some stuff completely differently this time, which has further confirmed my suspicions that there is never a right and wrong way, just a way you choose to do it. Molly

I think PollyD what she means is that it can be a slippery slope because when baby has a growth spurt you may give more bottle because the baby is demanding it, but that can mean your breast milk declines more and more, so you end up 100% bottle feeding, which may not be what you wanted to happen. Knowing Fuschia I don't think she intended to cause any guilt, I think she was just trying to present both sides of the argument. If you are not armed with all the facts it can be hard to make a rationale decision (hard enough anyway I know when hormones and guilt are raging). It is such a difficult and sensitive subject, and I think we all walk a very fine line, trying to show support to someone who is trying to succeed with breast feeding, whilst also saying it is OK to go with bottle feeding instead if in the end that is necessary. I do know what you mean about F's post, but I think it is one of those posts that can be read differently depending on your mindset when you are reading it. Given that Anna and Iain are getting professional help now I'm sure they will be OK, and whatever they end up doing will be right for them. Hopefully Ian will only take what he wants from this thread back to Anna anyway. I don't think we should turn this thread into a "pros and cons" of breast vs bottle debate because that isn't what Iain's original post was about, and anyway it is always going to be an emotive subject with a lot of strong views. Molly

Could you go and ask the builders/site foreman? Provided you explain in a nice/non aggressive way I would have thought they'd be helpful. Molly

Brierly Office: 020 3299 6163 only manned during the morning I think, but leave a message on the a'phone if no one there and they will get back to you. Molly :)) x

L see my earlier post re lying them down between your legs, it does work honest. If C behaves I reward her by letting her then "do" teeth herself. She likes to stand on a step at the sink pretending to brush then spit into sink like her big Sis. Very funny to watch. M x

Iain, you seem like such a lovely hubby, Anna is a lucky lady. It is heartwarming to see your posts on here doing all you can to help her with new Mum issues. Really hope you both get sorted, I was also going to suggest Claire Kevdis at Kings as I know she has sorted out so many ladies who have been struggling. Really hope things improve quickly for you, breastfeeding can be such a joy once you've got it sussed. Hang in there Anna! Molly xx

Hi all, For those that don't know, you can donate breast milk to Kings for the Special Care Baby Unit. It is very easy to do this - once baby is born you go along and have a blood test, then they give you 4oz sterilised plastic bottles which you pop your expressed milk into and keep in the freezer. You can top up the bottle until it is full, even if expressing over several days or weeks. When you feel you are running short of freezer space you just 'phone them and they come and collect at a time to suit you. You can also donate milk you've got stored but don't think you are going to use yourself (still need to have the blood test done). Please consider doing this if you can. Receiving breast milk can make the difference between life and death for the premature and seriously ill babies, generally they only need a tiny amount - about 6 drops an hour in some cases, so even a few ounces of milk will be greatly valued. The ladies that run the milk bank are very friendly and would be delighted to chat on the telephone if you would like to know more. The contact number is 020 3299 3038. Just leave a message if no one is there and they will call you back. Molly

Can I gently suggest you stop posting all over the East Dulwich Forum, I suspect you are going to feel the sharp end of Admin before long if you carry on - 3 posts on the main discussion page within minutes of each other, all on the same subject. Oh dear. Molly

alieh, If no one else offers, I have a Mothercare one you can borrow, more or less like this one (slightly older version but virtually identical). http://www.mothercare.com/Mothercare-Travel-Cot-Cloud/dp/B002HEQCFO/sr=1-9/qid=1264795514/ref=sr_1_9/279-0952012-6868668?_encoding=UTF8&m=A2LBKNDJ2KZUGQ&n=42769041&mcb=core I'm in Nunhead, so if you get offered one that is closer for you to pick up no worries, but otherwise just give me a bell, I'm in tomorrow from midday onwards for a pick up. 020 7358 1990 Molly x

Excellent news!

Ah Rob, I see - sorry, I misread your post and wanted to make sure others knew that you can get (some) rear facing seats without doing the mail order thing. Great that you got that level of help and support even without buying from Les, he has gone up even more in my estimation now! Molly

Hi Rob, I think the selling situation has changed now as I also have a Britax (probably same one as you) and you can get them from a place in Petts Wood (Bromley Way). I give details in my other thread - link above. It was brilliant as the man there has had TWO training courses on how to fit the seats, is knowledgeable about the different ones they stock - 3 different ones when I went, and generally offers a fantastic service. Best to telephone first to check they have stock in, and then book an appointment as choosing and fitting can take up to an hour. He even said I could return if we buy a new car, or when turning the seat to forward facing at 3 years plus and he would fit it again for me, which I think is really brilliant. He really does seem to care about the process 100%. Your friends website is what convinced me to go rear facing, please pass on my thanks to them if you ever get the chance. I really appreciate knowing about this issue and can't believe it isn't better publicised. I'm sure in a few years time it will be, but it should be happening NOW. Molly

Yes, I find the two brush approach works well. Also, if all else fails a very good tip is sit on floor with legs open and lie them between your legs with head in your lap...they then tend to open their mouth for you so you can brush. Not always easy with a toddler, but I find the approach of "Mummy does it first, then you can have a go.....and if you play me up I will MAKE it happen (so they cry and you can then clean them) works. Sounds mean I know, but when it comes to looking after their teeth I reckon it's worth it, and they soon get the message. Molly

Ah yes, very good point nunheadmum, we've had that happen more than once too, especially if leaving soon after a meal. If going anywhere early morning we now leave without breakfast and then have something later (or get up in time to leave a good hour or more between eating and travelling). Nightmare. When booking flights I actually try to go for ones that will potentially also make for easy travelling to and from the airport, avoiding peak times etc. too. Molly

Further to this thread from when I got the Britax Multi-Tech; http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?29,375554,375607#msg-375607 I promised an update on how C got on with staying rear facing. So far totally fine, she's been in the seat for a couple of months at least now and seems very happy in it. Really behaves just the same way as always - and certainly no change from how she was during the couple of months she spent in my old forward facing seat that had been her big sisters before I invested in this upgrade. I did wonder if switching for rear facing to forward facing and then back again would lead to issues but it hasn't at all (phew). I guess the only downside of the seat, if I had to find one is that because it fits in so much more securely - using the usual 3 point harness, plus straps that go down around the front passenger seat AND a leg that goes down into the footwell it would take longer (and more effort) to move from one car to another. Hence I have kept hold of my old seat for any emergencies when I might need to put her in another car quickly (unlikely to happen but you never know). It isn't that you can't move it, it would just be more hassle. I think if we had a newer car with Isofix this wouldn't be an issue as you can get Isofix rear facing seats that I imagine click in and out more easily. Hope this is helpful. Molly

This thread reminds me...last year when we flew to Spain with Easyjet, at check in we were asked if we had a baby car seat to check through....we didn't....but the Easyjet check in lady said they will take baby car seats, travel cots etc. free of charge as essential items! Has anyone else come across this? I was amazed as I thought Easyjet charged for EVERYTHING extra. Not sure I'd want to trust my 'best' car seat to the luggage handlers, but we do have a spare one for relatives etc. that I'd risk, and I know Soup Dragon do zip up travel bags for car seats. Has anyone ever flown Easyjet and taken a car seat with them? Worth it if you have a hire car at the other end I reckon. Molly

Oh dear, something else for me to worry/feel guilty about in the future then....guess I will be switching to the 'Big Teeth' version...sigh.....

Hi Newgirl, You may want to take a look at this thread; http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?29,343465,343744#msg-343744 My daughter is now in Year 1 and we are very happy with the school, I would say it is consistently improving and performing at least on a par with Goodrich. I really love the 'vibe' of the school, not too big, very friendly, very creative and with enthusiastic staff. I can almost see my little girl 'growing mentally' day by day at the moment, sounds naff probably and I imagine it is probably fairly common at this age when suddenly they are reading with confidence, starting to understand maths etc. but it is also very reassuring to see her happy and thriving, with lots of friends etc. I had a friend who was moving and looked at Shelbury Road, but having checked catchment zones it seems likely to be a bit of a school black hole, being too far away from both Goodrich and Ivydale, so I would be wary of this area - she phoned and spoke to the relevant schools, which you could do too if you want to double check. Why not go and look around Ivydale? They are always very welcoming and it may help to reassure you. Hope this helps. Molly