The Nappy Lady

This is just insane. We know that Kings (and other maternity wards) are struggling to cope with the number of births in the area - that they were set up to support a much lower number of births per year than the current rate, and yet they have just closed down a team that were highly acclaimed and used as an example to many other midwifery practices across the country. I just don't understand this at all. Molly

I just want to add to this - the bleedin obvious, but anyway....every baby is very, very different, and Snowboarder (and others) it isn't you doing stuff wrong that makes them what they are, it is just 'how they are'. The reason this is all so hard is because this is not one 'magic' answer to the whole sleep issue. My first slept 10 to 12 hours a night 10 weeks old (gosh I say that now and can't believe it). She was in her own room from 1 week old, never co-slept and has always been a deep, deep sleeper. Thankfully we always put it down to luck, no anything clever we did, and knew we wouldn't be so lucky again....so no surprise that our second is still waking at least once a night at 14 months old, still semi co-sleeping (was full time for the first few months), and I can't really imagine a time when I will ever get an entire nights sleep again. As a parent of 2 though, the worst is when you have a night with both of them up for various reasons...thankfully rare, but last night I didn't get more than 2 hours sleep in one go thanks to various night time wanderings. Molly

Thanks Pickle, I like the vibe at the Plough, glad we're not going somewhere so loud we can't talk (great if dancing, but not so good for first time socialising)! I too should be there from 8pm, mobile number below if anyone wants/needs to call me. Molly

We have a book voucher to spend on some new books for our 5 year old girl...any suggestions? Whilst I am at it, here are some books we already have (which may give you an idea of the type of thing we like), and also ones I would recommend to others as Christmas is approaching; Captain Flynn and the Pirate Dinosaurs and subsequent stories Tyrannasaurus Drip Dirty Berty When Mummy Turned Into a Monster (every Mum should have a copy of this, it's great) Stick Man Gruffalo etc. Molly

Me too - more general gymnastic type stuff for a 5 year old... I may be able to suggest a venue too, though not sure whether you'd need equipement on site, would be some, but maybe not the right stuff. PM me if interested. Molly

Lovely news veryseriousgirl...well done. :)) xxx

I reckon HH's suggestion for the day time nap routine is worth a try for you Snowboarder... can't be worse than how things are right now?? Naps stop (as far as I can recall) between the age of 2 and 3 I think, but they all vary, and even now at 5 O will sometimes crash out in the middle of a film or something if we've had a really busy and active morning. When she first dropped her daytime nap there was the odd time she quite literally fell asleep at the table, with a mouthfull of food, which we'd have to prise out before putting her to bed - didn't think they could actually do that! So funny. M

I too let my babies nap downstairs in the day at first, but moved them up to their cots from around 3 months old (unless cuddling on the settee....hard to resist when they are tiny!!). For me the biggest breakthrough was having the confidence to recognise when they were ready to nap, and putting them in the cot sleepy, but not asleep. If you can crack that it makes a big difference. It is so hard to hear them cry, and sometimes when you put them down they sound so distressed, yet 2 minutes later they can be fast asleep. I was a lot better at that 2nd time around. I find they always sleep much better at home in their cots than out in the buggy, once past the newborn stage. I do my best to keep the morning busy so that by around 12/12.30 ish they will be tired and ready to sleep. When it goes well (not every day) the nap will then be 2 to 3 hours - I usually wake her after 2.5 hours at most otherwise it can impact bedtime. But life isn't perfect. At 14 months my youngest is still waking at around 4am and crying. If I go to her she will 'throw herself' around to get down to my chest wanting to be breast fed, and often I cave in and end up spending the rest of the night in the spare bed in her room with her, but last night it took her an hour or so to settle back down, then we slept until 7.30am so not ideal. Sometimes she settles back to sleep without me going in and I keep hoping we have cracked it, but then we seem to regress again. I am inclined to start to leave her now because it isn't distressed crying so much as annoyance. Maybe I should try sitting by the cot and telling her it is sleep time etc, but I suspect that would make her even more furious! She does understand a lot now though as when in bed with me I tell her 'go to sleep or I will put you back in your cot' and bless her, she lies down next to me and grumbles but tries to go to sleep! I keep thinking it can't be too much longer, I could really do without the broken nights (though I know it is nothing compared to what some of you are coping with). Molly

Do lego do anything, I bet they do and their stuff is usually good.

Yep - my first was 7 days late, second was 8 days late. I actually wish they wouldn't give an exact EDD, but rather a 'likely due period' so you didn't fixate on a date (at least the first time around...2nd time I was sure I'd be late anyway). I actually told people I was due 'in early October' and wouldn't give an exact date for that very reason! I have a theory that you can't say pregnancy is 40 weeks, each woman is different, I'm sure for me 41 weeks is normal, for another woman 39 weeks might be, but having only had two I guess I haven't tested the theory fully! I reckon they come when they are ready and there isn't much you can do to help that, except lots of walking, which generally helps to get the head down, and increase pressure on the cervix. Walking sideways up a hill, or up and down stairs is said to help open the hips in a different way. I walked around Nunhead Cemetary for 3 hours the day I gave birth to my 2nd! Very happy memories, chatting with my sister and getting excited as the early indications seemed to progress. I do have a bottle of Castor Oil here, still sealed with a late in 2011 expiry date if anyone gets desperate. I was prepared to take that rather than go in for induction if it came to it, but thankfully never got that far.....having read up on it on the internet it does seem to work, but isn't very pleasant I don't think. Can also be used for constipation though! Would be good to find a home for it! Molly

Do you think it is a nasty ulcer? They can be so painful. Hope you manage to see someone and get him sorted soon, poor little man.

Excellent thanks, will feed that back to her. Yes - they do a reclining top seat now too, that's what I saw with the newborn triplets. A big improvement I'd say, will still take them up to 4/5 years old.... Molly x

Melbourne Groover - how do you find the 'sitting up' position? My friend is pregnant with her 2nd, and is going to have a gap of less than 2 years. Loves the look of this buggy, but is concerned that it is too reclined even in most sitting up position. She currently has a Mammas & Pappas, which is a heavy and clunky thing, but her daughter loves it because she can sit bolt upright (rather like they do in the Bugaboo when it is at its most upright). Edited to say - did you order it from the company in NZ and get it shipped over? Molly

Sorry Belle, no magic fixes for this. Would it work having a mattress by the cot so you can lie next to him / pat his back etc. to settle him without actually picking up and having to put down again? Odd he doesn't settle once in bed with you, that usually seems to work for us, though the odd time it doesn't it really drives me potty (usually only if 6am onwards, when I want to sleep on and madam decides it is morning.....6am is not morning in my book). Really hope it is just a phase and that he gets back on track soon. Molly

If it ends up being as fab as the new Ivydale Children's Centre it will be wonderful...have to say ours took a lot longer than it was supposed to...even after it was finished it seemed to be another couple of months at least...more I think before we finally got in. But well worth the wait! Molly

Couldn't you just hang around Peckham Rye Park Cafe one weekend and talk to a few parents / ask to try their buggys?!! I know it sounds a bit loony, but I'm sure they would be very understanding, and you may get some more honest opinions. I guess you may only get a limited selection though - lots of Phil and Teds and the odd McLaren double! One of the Mum's at school has just had triplets and I saw her buggy the other day - amazing - it is one of those I have posted about before, a double, with another seat that fits on the handle facing towards the parent...you can get the same thing as a single forward facing with the clip on seat at handle level (see link below). I think it is such a clever idea, all 3 babies looked really comfortable. Expensive though, shame a few others don't start developing similar at sensible prices. I guess for triplets it would be worth it though, can you imagine trying to get out the door with them! Eugh. http://www.gobubbago.com.au/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=31&products_id=26 Edited to say, with shipping to UK it costs about ?600, which I don't think is bad really, given price of Phil & Teds, or things like Bugaboo's with the 'full kit'. Just watched the demo video and am so impressed, now think it is even more clever (with the storage that turns into a bag etc.). Almost worth having another baby for (?) Molly

Nice idea about an evening performance - our school fayre was 3.30 to 6.30pm the other evening and I think the nativity could easily be at 6ish another year, and maybe it would mean more parents could make it. This is one of those times when I am SO GLAD I have the flexibility to be there without having to go through major negotiations as I would have done in my old life when I worked in the City. Thank you sillywoman and Anne, I will suggest this to the school for another year. Molly

Sounds like totally the right decision for you Clare. Re being scared, I expect by the time you are 38 weeks preggers you will (like most I know) be desperate to go into labour and get the baby out so don't worry. Labour can be an amazing, positive, wonderful experience so do try to keep that in mind and don't listen to (or watch) anything that may lead you to think otherwise. Yes, it is painful, but not like being ill or breaking a leg because the pain has a purpose and a wonderful reward at the end of it all. If you are feeling really nervous it may be worth investigating some hypno birthing classes to help you relax when the time comes? Best tip I was ever given was to 'count my breaths' during each contraction, which gives you a focus, and also helps you to get through each one...so for instance my contractions in my first labour lasted 8 breaths, but when I got to the 4th breath it would be at its peak and rather than thinking "Oh boy I can't do this" I could think "it's OK, I'm at 4, by 5 it will be dropping off again"....and it always did. Strange as it sounds, I really envy you as my labour and births were so amazing, I'd do it all again tomorrow if I could. Anyway, decision made and so now I guess you can get on with enjoying the rest of your pregnancy! Best wishes, Molly

Hi Puffin, I read an article the other day about a couple who have just had a baby through PGD due to a family history of EB (severe skin condition). It was in a magazine in the Doctors Surgery, something like South of the River I think...all about healthcare in this part of London - was in the first couple of pages. It sounds like a really positive thing. Good luck, I do hope it works out for you. Molly

Crikey, now I feel bad for sounding like a competitive Mummy with the whole home made costume thing...which I'm not at all, I guess I'm just being nostalgic about it, and as I can (sort of) sew I quite like the idea of having a go at making something. I may well be dashing to Sainsburys in a panic this time next week if it all goes pear shaped! Can't believe anyone would spend fifty odd pounds on a bridesmaids dress though, for a nativity...really??? Craigy - do you mean it was 25% off at Sainsburys? If so that's a bargain. I think these days it is cheaper to buy like that than to pay for fabric to make at home yourself anyway. I randomly had some white and silver sparkly fabric hanging about in the dressing up box, so going to see if I can do anything with it. Molly

I had both my girls at home, so no hospital experience, but have to say that having gone through labour twice the thought of getting in a car to get to hospital at that stage in my labour makes me shudder. ClareC, I'm not suggesting you go for a home birth as you said in your OP that you felt scared, in which case being at home is not going to be right for you, but it is really interesting that one common thread in these posts is that the journey to hospital is not fun when in established labour, and being as close to your chosen place of birth as possible is a very important consideration. I really think you need to give that point a lot of thought. In my first labour I HAD (and yes I really do mean HAD) to be standing bent forwards over a chair, or later on my knees during each contraction....if I had to get in a car it would have been with me kneeling on the back seat. I honestly feel that it can have a detrimental impact on your labour having to get in a car and get to the place you are going to give birth (though equally, if once in hospital you feel 'safer' then the journey is of course worth it). For me being at home, in my 'safe' environment let me fully concentrate on my labour, no distractions and the same midwives with me from start to finish. You need to get into your own headspace when you are labouring, and once in it if you can stay there it makes a big difference (and you body will help by releasing the necessary hormones etc. as you go along). If you are in hospital I'd say the most important thing is not WHERE you are, but WHO you have with you...and how good they are at 'protecting you' - i.e. knowing how you want to labour, and dealing with any problems, queries from the hospital staff etc. so you can stay focussed. I want to stress I am not ANTI hospital births, I think every woman should be free to labour where they feel most relaxed, safe and secure. But because of overcrowing, and the need to 'move women through' the labour wards I think not being admitted until the last minute is less than ideal, but of course necessary. Traipsing back and forth to hospital if you have a long early labour, only to be turned away and told to 'come back later' must be horrendous. Just remember it is YOUR labour, whichever hospital you are in. Good luck! Molly

Sanity Girl, I reckon you have to buy the wings, they would be evil to make....it's just I've got some that I picked up in a jumble sale YEARS AGO (I'm a bit sad about stuff like this and am prone to forward planning)....they are proper feather ones, very nice but will probably get totally trashed. Tinsel Halo is essential - I agree. I am sadly over excited by all of this, even the costume making. CurlyKaren, the nativity is a week on Thursday (16th I think that is), so not too bad on the notice front I guess, though I guess a bit longer would have been nice....but hey, you know, us Mum's don't have anything better to do in the run up to Christmas do we...... :-S

Hello!!!???

I'd try the Brierley practice - again probably fully booked, but they have a waiting list, and I have heard of Mum's getting a place, even in the last weeks of their pregnancy. They work as a team too, but aim for you to meet all 3 or 4 midwives in the team before your birth. They were amazing for me, can't recommend them highly enough. 020 3299 6163 is their office number, usually staffed in the morning until midday ish I think, but if need be leave a message and they will call you back. Molly

Yes, yes, and a thousand times yes!!!!