djfitz

Ibiza is a great destination for families (in spite of what the general perception might be!), especially in late September and October when it's cooler and the club season has finished. We've been going for years, including with our 2 little 'uns. You could stay practically anywhere, but if you're going to avoid anywhere, I guess it should be San Antonio - it's the least family friendly. Santa Eularia is great for restaurants. The East Coast is best for lots of beaches and proximity to big towns (Sta Eularia, Ibiza etc). South coast (eg San Jose / Josep / Joseph) esp Cala Vadella are great beaches with views of Es Vedra and beach side restaurants with good food. North Coast a bit remote with fewer beaches, but more fishing villages etc. If you need more info but a slightly biased point of view (I think Ibiza is a terrific spot) let me know. PS the dj in djfitz is not disc jockey ;)

Unlikely related (but I'll stir things up anyway;) ) The machine at the Sainsbury's Local up at the Plough has been out of order, saying: "We are unable to return your card" with frightening regularity. Practically every time I've been up there for the last week to get cash it's said it. Is this a fraud issue or are customers inserting cards coated with jam or other delicious doughnut fillings? The people have a right to know!

And to get back to the original post briefly... We have a new postie up our end and we seem to be getting all of our mail now. Mostly untampered with! And he's a nice chap... working so hard over the Christmas... two deliveries a day. Bless!

What are you on about? Seriously. What's your point? Are you seriously asking us not to generalise after you've had a good rant about Gypsies 'in general'? Or are you pretending to be ironical. How did we get from the postie in the brown bag to Luton v Millwall in the 1980's? The internet is a wonderful thing...

A mum from SouthEast London is washing the dishes when her daughter walks into the kitchen. "Mum, why are your hands so soft?" asks the curious child. To which mum replies: "Cos I'm only fackin' thirteen, innit!"

Three guys meet for pints every Friday night and every Friday night they make up some stupid dare or other. One Friday night, just before they leave the pub, they debate which ridiculous dare they should make. "I know", said one of them. "When you go home tonight you have to do the first thing your wife tells you to do. There and then. No questions asked" "Brilliant", "Agreed" the others chime, and off they go, into the night to meet next week. The following Friday the three turn up in their local. They look like shit. Dirty clothes, greasy hair, none have washed all week. They sit in silence for hours with gloom hanging over their heads. No-one wants to talk about what happened the previous friday night. Eventually one of them picks up the courage: "Right. I got home last Friday and there's the wife doing the dishes so I thought I'd give her a hand. I drop a plate on the floor and she goes 'Well smash the whole fucking place up, why don't you'. I went bezerk. Thrashed the kitchen and sitting room and spent most of the night up on the roof with a sledge hammer. The house is wrecked" The second bloke says: " You think that's bad? I was in the sitting room having a smoke when some ash fell on the carpet. 'That's great' says the wife, 'Set the whole place on fire, why don't you'. So out I got a can of petrol, doused the walls and carpet and set it alight. The kids barely got out alive. The wife wants a divorce and I'm living in a hostel. My life is shit" "You think that's bad?!!" says the third. "You know how having a couple of jars makes me randy? When I got in form the pub last friday I went straight upstairs and climbed into bed beside the wife. I dropped the hand and started feeling her fanny. 'Right' She said, 'You can cut that out for a start!'"

If you go down to the woods today... sorry, couldn't resist ;-)

Well, that's loosened it at any rate.

Consider it done! (I was originally going to ask Matron for my tea and my fags but thought better of it. Obviously)

Never mind all this doctors versus nurses business, where is Matron with my tea and ashtray?

Anna, we all know that the smile from a pretty nurse and a nice hot cup of tea does more good than internal fixation, interventional radiology, and massive transfusions combined!

Smoking Swine, maybe?

(in case you didn't know, it's a documentary jobbie on BBC1 09:15 every weekday for the next couple of weeks)

What do the fine people of East Dulwich make of this insight into the works of our local Hospital. (I, for once, shall keep my inane "opinions" to myself)

Irish

I was wondering about those kids! All that hand holding and hugging and skipping about the place... Honestly. You'd think they'd keep it to themselves.

Asset Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > and while we're at it what about those > inconsiderate people in wheelchairs taking up the > pavements and pushing their way round shops. > sheesh they should get out and walk. Yeah! Why are all their parking spaces right outside the doors of shops, too. They don't even have to walk from the car to the shop ffs! They can use their other 'Wheels'. Shouldn't they be made park further away so I don't have to walk so far?

I think she meant Patronise in the context of "A Patron of the Arts", not slag them off.

Excellent idea. Two brothels it is!

If trance n dance is yer thang, Above & Beyond do a jolly good knees up of a Saturday night. Follow this for the Podcast just click the top right corner link (anjunabeats.nu)

Psalms 9.99 And, lo, God said unto me "When the peoples of Swiss get around to makingeth the clock, and that, There shall be seven days in a week, just like my working week. In each day shall be 24 units that are not just yours or mine. They shall be ours with a silent H. Of these 24 you should spend 8 sleeping, 8 working, and 8 'doing stuff'. During that 8 of work, you should have half of one for midday repast and a quater each before and afternoon - for parayer or tea. Fag breaks don't count. Any work after the eight hour or the fifth day gets time and a half for the first 5 hours and double thereafter. Let it be so unto the peoples of Judea and beyond but if anyone's looking for me I'll be out for the afternoon" God

God said so. It's in the Bible.

This year I'm going to leave my clocks as they are and carry on as before. I expect to be fired by Wednesday.

BTW if anyone is going to The Dog today, could they please bring a bottle of water or a can of coke or something for poor Jason. He's still at the bar and hasn't been served yet and he's parched. Bless!

On Woodwarde Road? That would be ace!