Ted Max

I'm not sure if there is record of Joseph swaddling the infant Messiah in a papoose for the flight into Egpyt. But I'm pretty sure he and Mary wore matching sandals and were heard bemoaning the lack of free WiFi in the Inn as they queued for their Lar-tays (decaf for her, she's breastfeeding, and if that offends you then you're the ones with the issues, Magi).

No wonder Herod wanted rid.

He lived next door to a friend of mine once who tells this story. Soon after Souness moved in she [my friend] was coming back from walking her dog and saw him unloading his car outside his house. She thought, "I'll go in and introduce myself, as we live next door. Make him know he's welcome".

"Hello" she said.

"Get your dog off my drive," said Graeme.

End of conversation.

.

Can you Amazon something direct to her address, using the US (.com) site? It might seem a bit impersonal but you could explain the situation.

Are selfish people rude? Yes

Are rude people annoying? Yes.

Can you tell if someone is rude or selfish by the buggy they buy, if they use a papoose, or at what age they have children? No.

SOME OF THESE WOMEN ARE QUITE FIT BUT THEY WON'T EVEN LOOK AT ME, EVEN THOUGH I HAVE A GIG WRITING ON A NATIONAL MAGAZINE AND THEY SHOULD BE GLAD OF MY PRESENCE. IT MUST BE BECAUSE THEY ARE SELFISH, INFERTILE OLD BOOTS, AND NOT BECAUSE I AM A SMALL RED FACED MAN WITH EGG ON MY JACKET AND NON-MATCHING LACES.

For some reason, this thread title made me think...

http://www.varietychildrenscharity.org/images/photos/sue_sunshine_coach_small.jpg

And that woman in the green has perfect hair.

http://astierandco.karmaos.com/Image/EngrenagesSaison2.png

Spiral's pretty good. Very simplistically, a sort of French The Wire (but with subtitles).

http://cricri5965.unblog.fr/files/2008/12/1212224854engrenagesprpl.jpg

Ha ha, brilliant. Ban the buggies! I think you're onto something. Inspirational stuff. Let's meet up, I think I love you. Can I bring my mum? No? Your mum? Fair enough.

Buggies. Ban them. Awesome. Two hours! Not enough.

9-11 People (idiots) with buggies

11-1 The retired, those requiring assistance, the halt and the lame

1-3 People in work clothes, muddy boots and no shirts

3-5 Lone females, key workers and pizza delivery boys

5-12 Stubbly men in Gap jeans, sunglasses and lager. And their molls.

Still no post. I'm starting think I may have created a rod for my own back.

I expect the parakeets in our local parks would taste of leftover cheese sandwich and maize-based snacks. So you'd probably want something quite spicy to perk that up a bit.

Or else roast, and then serve as part of a cold collation with some pickles and sweet young lettuce.

Diet. Lifestyle. Training methods. Luck. Not playing a lot. Better physio. Softer/ harder training pitches. More luck on the horses.

I've no idea if any of these are relevant, but they all could be.

But I guess I'm lumbered with him.

It goes against the grain, but I think I'll make a complaint. My postman is as thick as a plank.

I hope my post arrives soon. Until recently, I used to have no problems getting wood.

I blame the Latvian casuals they're employing - they should have used Poles.

There's a lot at stake, here.

I have ordered a post, but it has not arrived. Has anyone seen it? It's about 6' long and 4x4" wide. It's a wooden post, with a sharp bit at one end.

David Attenborough's always on my telly moaning about how there's too many people in the world these days. Hurry up and make it one less, then, old man.

I was promised a free Nelson Mandela, and did I get one when I bought the record? Did I arses.

I like that Harry from McFly, though. He's seems a nice boy.

David Attenborough is a dreamy swoonboat.

Horace Walpole?

Hetty Wainthrop?

Harriet Walter?

When I'm reading my letters on Ceefax, I mute the TV and stream music from my N97, which I have side-loaded from my Airbook, running a fileshare to ceefax.msc/seed, which is free sourced out of a DRM-free collective in Helsinki.

So there's no way my license fees should be paying for *Bob*'s broadband, (and 19 Freeview boxes) as I'm not using the BBC's linear, outdated platform to access audio.