Sanne Panne

Two daughters, two years apart. Toddler M is nearly 2.5 years old, baby S is 5.5 months old. I'm at home with them, M goes to nursery a few afternoon sessions a week and we do a playgroup on Thursday mornings so yes we are at home quite a bit but there's something nice to do every day. Baby S is very easy and laid back and hardly cries. I do hold her a lot but it's not a situation in which I need to attend to a needy baby all the time. She's also mostly bottle fed now so there are no long breastfeeding sessions that would contribute to the jealousy. M used to be ok with S until S was about 4 months old. Since then, she's been trying to squeeze ("big hug" she says, yeah right, suffocate you mean ;)), hit and generally bother her. Initially I would let her do it as long as S wasn't too bothered and then I would gently move her away from the baby but M is so strong that I fear she could really hurt her. I'm pretty sure her intentions are just to bother/upset me and her sister because negative attention is better than no attention but with her dockworker type approach she could really hurt her. What's the best approach? M is very strong with language which may sometimes make us overestimate her emotional maturity. I've tried reasoning with her, gently distracting her as mentioned above and lately we've been a lot tougher - whenever she'd hit her sister I would drag her to her room and leave her there for 10 minutes. Does the trick for an hour or so of good behaviour but she just comes back with a vengeance. M generally seems easily bored and doesn't like to play alone much so I try to engage in play and arts/crafts with her but I can't do it all the time. How do we improve her behaviour? Should be we tougher or gentler? What has worked for you in dealing with sibling jealousy?

Great, 100% it is with some pre-agreed holiday dates.

Thanks Mellors, I like the idea of pre-agreeing to adapt to each other's holidays and paying the rest 100%. Is everyone else doing the same?

We're preparing the contract for our new nanny, using the nannytax standard contract. What percentage of a nanny's pay do you pay (or is fair to pay) a nanny when you go on holiday (without her)? We don't travel much but there may be a week here and a few days there when we won't need her. Is anything below 100% pay being cheap? I don't want to be cheap. I just want to know what's common practice :)

They charge 4 weeks pay, some others charge 5, it's expensive indeed but you do get good exposure. I signed up, got a bunch of good CVs through but eventually found someone really great through this good old forum. I'd do both - sign up with the agency and keep an eye open (and/or post an ad) here too.

Sorry you're not having your home birth but I'm sure things will go well in King's. Hope it goes smoothly, thinking about you, all the best of luck!!!

A grumpy "no soliciting" sign takes care of 50% of those... supergolden88 Wrote: > Other pet hate: cold callers calling to sell me > insurance/tv packages/energy packages etc.

Hope she gets better soon. And yes, bit late but yes EU citizens should be seen and generally treated for free.

HSBC because it was easy to apply online and it's my bank anyway (not that that seems to make a difference)...

> Write the Christmas chores (that you'd be > comfortable with someone else doing) on scraps of > paper and put them in a hat. Each guest has to > pick a chore out of a hat. Bit of a game and it > keeps them busy/useful. ...and mark the chore you want and offer to pick from the hat first.

That makes sense about the leaving disruption gwod. It just felt a little odd to me but I know it's way too soon to judge. And as I said in my original post, I'm not looking for learning outcomes in every single thing they do at all. It just didn't come across as very involved and that does matter to me.

Holy Montessori! Picked my 2.5 year old daughter up today and saw the teacher turn the pages of a Charlie and Lola book (?!) while playing the accompanying audio tape (?!). What ever happened to READING a book if you're a school teacher? I'm not a hardcore Montessori follower at all, my choice was more convenience/reference/location movivated - I do like the Montessori idea for the early years to some extent and the 2-3 year olds really don't need to be academically challenged for all I'm concerned but what ever happened to reading a book? Isn't that what kids need at this age? What's the difference with the telly at this point - the teacher turns the pages rather than the telly making the pictures move? I know I'm being too anal but is this really normal? Edited to say that we are relatively new so I'm probably judging too early and based on very limited 'evidence'...

at 4.5 months post partum I've only lost 4 of the 13 kilos I have to lose to get back to my (healthy but not thin) pre-pregnancy weight (13 kilos is what I measured after the immediate postnatal weight loss stopped). So I'm now aiming for the 9 months on, 9 months off goal ;) Signed up for WW online, haven't logged in once. Must do that again. It does work when you take the points tracking seriously.

For those reading this and really not wanting their kids to get it... you can get a private vaccine (Harley Street, around ?50-?75). Not saying it's better, or even good, but just that the option exists in case you want to avoid it.

Indeed it's the kids whose parents systematically don't react to their toddlers smashing plastic hammers into other toddlers' cheeks that bother me. I don't actually dare to tell those kids off because I think their parents are going to hit me with a real hammer. I once told a toddler off after he smacked my daughter against a wall in our own home and his mum hasn't talked to me since. Not saying who was wrong or right but things can get VERY sensitive when you get involved in other kids' behaviour...

Yes vagueman, she's toilet training (done for wees, just waiting for the poo confidence to build up although she doesn't mention the tummy around the time she needs to go). So that could definitely have to do with it!

Great idea, thanks!

I'm so sorry you're having such a tough year. Just wanted to wish you lots of strength and good outcomes for the next few weeks xxx

My 2y4m old tells me about once a day that her tummy hurts. She's very good with language but it's still hard to get her to give real answers, e.g. if you ask her "did you go to the playground today?" she'll usually answer yes because she likes the playground. She seems perfectly happy and healthy (no constipation, nothing) and I think it may just be part of her way to get a conversation going - she's into the Saturday splurge page of the hungry caterpillar at the moment (his tummy hurts at the end) and when her baby sister cries I often say she cries because she's tired, hungry or... because her tummy hurts. What questions can I ask a toddler to get a better idea of whether her tummy actually hurts?

My 2 year old daughter likes the playroom in the Florence. "Mum, I want to go to the pub, I want to go to the pub, can we go to the pub please?"

In the US, pet stain removers are popular for potty training accidents on the carpet... I don't have any pets so not sure if those products exist here?

I always trust the Kellymom site, here's a page about reusing breast milk, looks like it's ok if you keep it at room temperature: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/reusing-expressedmilk.html

Crumpet was lovely! We didn't have time in the afternoon so we couldn't go to the 1 o'clock club. Thanks for the advice. And we came home with a ukelele from the music shop... Northcote road is dangerous!

Leaving SE London without a visa tomorrow... is there a nice toddler play area in Clapham? (forgive me, not 100% ED related but it may be of some interest). Thanks!

Got the Houdini Stop and it's great.