Sanne Panne

My 3yo (3 years 3 months) is very keen to stop wearing nappies at night. She keeps telling me she wants to go without so I decided to give it a try two weeks ago. I did all the obvious things: no drinking after 6:30pm unless thirsty, a good pee at bedtime, no pyjama bottoms on in bed. I even put her on the potty half asleep at 10pm. It generally went well when she managed to actually pee at 10pm but whenever she was too sleepy to pee (or I skipped it) she would wet her bed. Lot of laundry. Convinced her to go back to pull ups (in a way that couldn't possibly affect her self esteem) but she complains every night. She's been potty trained at daytime for a year now so I understand she feels ready. I once read you can't really "night train" a child, that you just need to wait for some hormonal change that will make them wake when they need to pee. What are your views and experience? Advice? Thanks!

Great feedback thanks so much Fidgetsmum and Fuchsia. I'm pretty obsessed with tooth brushing so it would make me very happy to know her teeth are clean when she goes to bed ;) S loves cheese so much that she will almost certainly get enough from pulses/veg and cheese if we skip milk altogether but do give cheese. I'm tempted to only do goat's cheese for a while as she's had wet poos for a few weeks now and neither GP nor paediatrician could find anything wrong - they suspected a temporary lactose intolerance as a result of a few consecutive bugs and teething. Hm, so... just water and a bread based breakfast or oatly-based porridge in the morning, then a cup of formula with lunch, slowly mixed in with and then replaced by oatly or even water. Then water with dinner and a bottle of formula at night, diluted at the same rate as the lunchtime cup so she doesn't find us out heheh and then tooth brushing, and one day replace the bedtime bottle with a bedtime straw cup and then.. one day... a straw cup after bathtime and no more bottle at night. By then she'll be 12 and telling me she doesn't need a bedtime story anymore either ;) Seriously this should be doable over the course of a month or maybe two. I hope. Still open to more input, but nice to have a bit of a plan already!

Interesting, why no rice milk? For the salt?

Good idea, I think we'll start by cutting out the morning (immediately after waking up) bottle entirely because that's just our habit, not something she asks for. So she'll have more breakfast. Then at lunch time, give formula in a sippy cup. At bedtime, formula in a bottle. And one night just try giving it in a straw cup. I would prefer not giving anything at bedtime because of the sugars on her teeth. I'd like to move to formula or liquid porridge after bath time, then tooth brushing, and then some way to get her to bed happily without the bottle. Maybe it's worth diluting the bedtime bottle so it becomes less interesting but she still has the association for a while. Hm. Thanks for the feedback, all other/complimentary ideas welcome, we'll take the best of all worlds :)

Short version: How to stop giving 3 bottles of formula a day to a nearly 16 month old? Long version: With our first we stopped giving formula at about 12 months, she happily went straight to cow's milk in a straw cup. She didn't need "feeding to sleep" as she was such a dummy addict that knowing that the dummy was waiting for her in her cot was enough to happily get her to bed. With our second, who is almost 16 months now, things have been a bit different. She's not keen on cow's milk and it's not great timing to switch now as she's had a few bugs and currently doesn't tolerate cheese very well so I'm not too keen on milk. I know milk isn't as great as we used to think anyway, organic or not. She still has 3 bottles (2 full and 2 halves spread over the day) per 24 hours. I'm not against formula but it's expensive (we use ready formula from Hipp... too lazy to do the water boiling, mixing etc ritual) and I know it's not good for the palate to drink from a bottle for too long. What's the best strategy? We'll cut the daytime ones out first and wait a bit with the bedtime one. Also not sure how to get her to nap in her cot without the bottle. We don't literally feed her to sleep, she goes to bed mostly awake but the bottle in a dark bedroom is such a part of the ritual. She doesn't need it when she naps in the buggy Mon-Thur. And what to replace it with. She nearly gags on Rice Dream, pushes Oatly away and doesn't care for cow's milk. Maybe formula in a straw cup during the day, mix it with one of the above "milks" and slowly reduce the amount of formula? And do the same with the bedtime feed but give it in a bottle for another while? And which product would you pick, milk, rice dream or oatly? Or just give water? I'm not keen on soy in large amounts especially for kids. I have the idea she needs some kind of white drink for the calcium. She doesn't like yoghurt much but she'd eat a pound of cheese a day if we let her (currently cut out due to wet poos). Any tips for a smooth transition welcome!

Thanks for all the great ideas! I booked tickets to the Snowman. Will keep the others in mind for next year...

Yeah littleEDfamily we're slowly growing out of the toddler/preschool years (with our eldest) but not quite there yet. Can't wait for that gentle sibling-caring 4.5 year old to emerge ;)

It's not always easy to tell the difference between delaying techniques and real fears. I'd say cut the obvious delaying techniques short because once you start there's no end to it ("do you have all the stuffed animals and dolls you need? No? Shall I go and get Teddy now? Are you sure you have everything you need now so you won't need to call me again for missing toys? And if one is still missing can it wait till the morning?"). I'm not sure if accommodating all fear/development based requests in the exact way your child asks you to is a good strategy as she may not know how to put her needs into words... even if you can't figure out what exactly is the root of the request you can propose a few alternatives to e.g. sleeping in your bed and see if your child reacts genuinely positively to the idea. We always have a chat before we read the bedtime story when there is some kind of regression around going to or staying in bed. I usually suggest some "rules" to our 3yo, see how she feels about them and then we end the chat with questions to confirm that we agree. "If you can't sleep what do you do?" - "I think about something happy like the beach and going to Holland to see cousins x and y and z". "And if you feel very sad even after thinking about your cousins?" - "then I call you." "If you think it's too dark, do you call mama?" - "No I switch the light on and mama will switch it back off when she goes to bed" "If you have a bad dream and you're scared what do you do?" - "I call you" "If you're on the potty and you've done a poo what do you do?" - "I call you" "Can you call me if you hurt yourself at night?" - "Yes! And when I have a lot of blood!" (no idea where she got that from). "And if it's just a tiny bit of pain from the scratch you got on your knee earlier today?" - "Then I don't call you". Whatever the content of the chat, the "do we agree on what's ok tonight" reassurance seems to really help. I guess it depends a bit on your child's age to what extent you can rationalise about all this... About the curtains and especially the door: we did give in to that because I think it has to do with fear of being left alone. But when she started singing in her room every night and morning, waking everyone up at 6:30am we told her that singing was fine but only with the door shut - just for the noise, not because we didn't want it open. If she wanted it open, fine but no loud playing. Once or twice we closed it because she was too noisy playing. Now we're back to closing the door out of habit and she doesn't mind anymore. It was clearly a phase. I think it passed faster because we didn't suppress it.

Praise is great but be careful to avoid excessive use of it for everyday things. It can work wonders when you do it for a while until the desired "task" becomes a habit again, e.g. tooth brushing. First of all, be prepared to get a big NO after 3 times, kids aren't stupid! Even two year olds can sense when you're patronising them. Secondly, if you keep praising for everyday things you risk either devaluation of praise or a blown up sense of self entitlement. So let's say... all things in moderation ;)

I don't think you necessarily need to be very tough at toddler age (definitely don't remove his comforter) but you do need to be consistent (if that's what you mean by strict). Maybe you are already! I notice that when I don't follow through I really end up paying for it longer term. Simple example - saw woman and child in the local shop, child wasn't behaving, womand said "ok that's it, you're really not getting that juice now", two minutes later woman and child leave shop, child drinking juice. I guess many of us have been there, I definitely have, but that's the thing that backfires the most. Even with very little ones. This is an obvious example but there are many more subtle situations that the child will unknowingly use to test you out and drive you absolutely nuts. I know this isn't the solution to your problems but definitely one to keep in mind when you "observe" yourself.

My mother in law wants to take my 3yo to a show in December. It should ideally be on a Saturday or Sunday. What's on this winter? Where do I look? Thinking about panto or some other interactive format, or a kids musical, I actually have NO idea. Doesn't have to be Christmassy but it's fine if it is. Can you introduce me to the world of shows for little ones? Anywhere in London is fine.

I also wash towels and bedding at 60C and the rest at 30 or 40 depending on stains. I do think the actual risk of catching something dangerous through a laundry that you won't catch through normal contact within a family is probably very small. If norovirus only spread through contact with poo we wouldn't all get it so easily although I understand that you may want to exclude as much risk as possible with a newborn or somebody of weak overall health. Good point about the hygiene of the washing machine itself though!

I had it done 6 times in the late '70s (not for hearing issues but for chronic ear infections and related pressure issues) - don't remember much of it except a fondness of the ENT doctor who was great with kids. I also remember being a bit disorientated and nauseous after the operation (even after being dismissed from the "waking up room") so maybe carry her in your arms on your way home. Check her pillow in the morning for a few weeks after the op to see if the grommets haven't come out. Maybe technology has improved and maybe they aren't likely to come out if the ear isn't infected in the first place - could be worth asking the ENT doc. Good luck!!!

If a week's wages is the norm for an xmas bonus, would it be stingy to give it roughly pro rated to the time worked, e.g. half for someone who started in summer? We don't get bonuses ourselves and already decided to keep the family xmas celebration extremely simple this year (1 small present for everyone) because it's been an expensive year. I do want to make sure our (great) nanny doesn't take offence if we only give her 1/2 a week's pay though. Maybe promise to give the other half at the appraisal?

KatsuQueen Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Hi, we went through this with Minikatsu at exactly > the same age. (I think it is pretty common and a > developmental thing). What worked for us was, > giving him his own spoon and letting him do > whatever he wanted with the food, while sneaking > food into his mouth with another spoon whenever > possible. Same here! Keep them busy with finger foods. Either get more of the same food in with a second spoon or, during a fussy phase, keep them busy with breadsticks and raisins and sneak some spinach in. A week later they'll be wolfing down mango with a fork + two hands. Or stuffing their mouths with fusilli and pesto. Just be there to strategically add whatever you think is missing, be it calories or nutrients or both. Good luck... some days this works a treat and some other days just suck. I think that once you accept that you're ready to live a happier life ;)

We've probably dealt with thrush too, also no white rings. Still not 100% sure if it was thrush but the last thing we used before it cleared up was Daktarin (not sure if it exists in the UK, we were elsewhere, it's pretty much the same as Canesten). And yes, bare bottoms. Old towels on the floor will absorb most baby "output" pretty well. And probiotic powder in formula or in food helps stabilise the gut again. Health Matters sell it. Udo's choice infant probiotic, in the fridge in the back of the shop.

Momo's LSD song!

We've mostly done without the vtech stuff due to an extremely battery-operated-baby-toy-noise intolerant husband. The nice thing is that when you go somewhere else where they do have the vtech type toys the kids looove it and you don't need to worry about entertaining them for an hour. If you do buy them they will get bored with them pretty quickly. You could consider getting things you might normally get for an older child. Only when we had our second baby did we realise how nice playdough is for a one year old. Same with a glue stick and some paper. Washable felt tips. Duplo. A train track. A cookery set (e.g. a colander and some spoons from your own kitchen plus some dry pasta). And a continuously changing collection of recycling materials such as empty kitchen rolls, yogurt pots and shampoo bottles. I'm not miss creative at all but these things really do seem to keep kids busy much longer than some of the more advanced toys do!

Go for a walk with him in the buggy a bit after the time he normally naps and see if he falls asleep - does he normally stay asleep if you come home and park the buggy in the corridor?

Just checked, you can do it online, https://www.eadmissions.org.uk/eAdmissions/app

Don't we get notified by the council and sent an application form automatically during the academic year before the child is due to start or do we need to take the initiative ourselves?

Well it improved over the weekend but now it's all liquid again. Only difference is she had a small amount of cheese and probiotic yoghurt yesterday. But she used to devour dairy without the slightest problem for months and months. She started having a snotty cold yesterday too but that can't be related to something that started 16 days ago. Called the GP, stool results all good. Possible causes are temporary lactose intolerance post infection. Or toddler's diarrhoea. Nice! We have an appointment tomorrow.

No wise input here but I love your attitude. It's probably just "any" obsession/admiration but it's sooo important that there's no parental prejudice... if it doesn't apply to him then it'll contribute to him being a more tolerant child to others who will have same sex interests on the long run. Sorry, as I said, I can't speculate as I don't have any relevant experience (yet).

Mine had the same, she was a bit more "spitty" prior to weaning than her elder sister was (and whenever she did spit milk up it was clearly gagging and not "stomach centered" and when we weaned her she would gag quite frequently. It wasn't extreme though (max 50%), somehow jars were worse than home prepared food as the texture is so even - we had fewer problems with pastina (e.g. alphabet pasta or other finely cut up normal pasta) in a "wet" sauce. That would slide down without a problem whereas smooth yet slightly crumbly purees made her gag a lot as they get stuck on the tongue. We just waited it out and it slowly got better. She now shoves broccoli into her mouth like there's no tomorrow. She also has a very long tongue, not sure if that has anything to do with it, e.g. if the food gets on the back of the tongue when a spoonful of food is taken and the tongue is retracted it gets deeper into the throat before being mixed with saliva... but that's nonsense of course because a long tongue is long at the front not at the back, ok I really don't know what I'm talking about. Ignore this paragraph or just laugh at it.

I believe it's different now compared to 2 years ago. It's not the same as in most red books, the GP practices now have a different strategy. I don't remember the details but my 14mo got 2 jabs at 12mo and needs to come back soon (must check when) for an additional jab or two.