Mrs TP

Your say your employer is refusing this but do not state who exactly at the organisation. If it is your boss then complain to their boss or the HR/personnel dept if there is one. If you don't get anywhere then file a formal grievance to the same people. There should be someone in your organisation who can advise you of how this is done. Don't be afraid of fighting for your rights. Your are not an inconvenience and are legally entitled to this leave. As a working parent it is not always about the money (although I guess that is why we work) but there are occasions when time off when you want it can be more valuable. I had 28 days leave holiday and bank holidays accrued during mat leave owing and was due back to work 12 Dec 09. I wanted to use some of the leave to take me through to 11 Jan 2010. This was agreed but it still left me with a chunk of accrued leave to use later in 2010. Our HR dept told me I had to return from mat leave earlier than 12 Dec to use up more accrued leave in 2009, as I was only allowed to carry 5 days over into 2010. I complained that this meant entitlement to 52 wks mat leave plus accrued leave was not being evenly rolled out and was dependent upon the time of year your baby was born. The HR person wouldn't budge and so I complained to the most senior director in my dept who sorted it out. You soon become to realise that your colleagues are not always clued up on the specifics of mat leave and parental rights do check out the site recommended by Vik above - it presents the facts v. clearly. Good luck Mrs TP

Thanks to all for comments and advice. My union (Unite) is being fantastically helpful and I am happy with their suggested ways forward. All v. draining but on the plus side the stress is helping me shed those last few pounds of baby weight!

Little H - could you please tell me which solicitor you used in the end and what happened (PM if you prefer). I was phoned today whilst on mat leave and also told my job is one of 10 at risk of redundancy and that we are now beginning a consultation phase for staff to provide feed-back on proposed restructuring and redundancies. I have recently put in a request for flexible working and had a meeting at work to discuss this last week and they are supposed to come back to me with a decision by Friday. When I asked how this affected my request I was told that it was irrelevant as my job no longer exists - that doesn't sound like consultation or 'at risk' to me but more like a forgone conclusion. Any other comments welcome.

I was amazed we managed to avoid the whole nit & lice thing until my daughter was 7. We were struck this summer. The adult lice are easy enough to get rid of and can be combed out, killed off with the various shampoos etc but it is the nits / eggs that are the real problem as they are not killed by the shampoos and are difficult to comb out even with the specialist combs. You need to pick the nits out - wash the hair and whilst wet part it every single way you can and look for all the little buggers and just pick them out with your nails / tweezers - sounds disgusting but becomes weirdly therapeutic. Don't be fooled by the whole 'white nits' thing either, they are only white when hatched and it is just the egg shell / casing remaining. Whilst the louse is forming in the egg they are brown and oval shaped - Google image them - cause first time around I thought it was bits of pollen in my daughter's hair. I am the biggest wimp ever and was mortified when I realised we had been infested but checking through her v. thick hair on several consecutive nights and they were soon gone. Didn't even spread to siblings or me thankfully. Good luck but will soon be gone if you are vigilant.

Just found one very soggy, Iggle Piggle in Adys Road outside the school and his blanket further along outside the vicarage. They are both now in our washing machine getting spruced up and will be snuggling up to the radiator later. Anyone missing them? Mrs TP

Pack one bag for you and one bag for the baby. Highly likely that your partner will be put in charge of dressing the newborn for the first time and you don't really want him spilling your smalls (or bigs as mine were) all over the place whilst trying to find the baby vests at the bottom of the huge suitcase with all your combined stuff. Take everything everyone says. Hopefully you won't need half of it in hosp and it will be all fresh and ready when needed at home in the following few days. Good luck.

Our middle daughter went through a terrible biting / hitting stage at around 18mths. Mainly directed at her older sister and in frustration. We would say a sharp 'no' pick her up, put her in the playpen and leave the room until the screaming and sobs subsided. Didn't take long for the penny to drop.

Used a playpen for my eldest two and about to re-assemble it for nos 3 who is almost 8mths old and rolling all over the place. Playpens do have a door / gate, which you shut when you have to leave the room and open again when you are around, so the wee one can roam in and out. Great also for chucking tons of toys in when doing a quick tidy up. We have a Baby Dan metal one but noticed they now also do a wooden one, which looks fab.

Did anyone see the protesters outside the entrance yesterday? Is it true they were there to liberate the budgies and string up ringmaster Norman? If so they have my full support as the budgies are rubbish. On the plus side, the horses were brilliant. Their disposition and appearance reflects the excellent care they receive.

Lion

BeccaL - it has to be done and be sure to buy your little one one of the light-up toys they sell as you go in so she can wave it around when they switch the lights off at the beginning. My bigger girls are 8 & 5 and we have been the last two years running - they were ecstatic when they saw this year's posters. Have just booked using the code Mellors recommended - fab thanks. Norman (the Ringmaster) and his budgies can be a bit dull but there are usually some excellent acrobatics and fun slapstick. Enjoy.

auction

For some reason I was thinking about Jenny Eclair's column in this the other day and realised we haven't had an issue for months (Nutbrook SE15). Probably not had one this year but used to pop through the door every month for 5+yrs before that.

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Camilla

Been happy with Next for my two girls at primary school. Wash well, last v. well. Can't remember exact price but certainly competitive with M&S. (Skirts are more of a problem for me - have tried supermarket through to John Lewis and all go bobbly quite quickly. However, recently changed from navy to grey as school permits either and the grey seem to stay in better condition longer - got the drop waist box pleat from M&S.) Do buy plenty of uniform - it is amazing how much they can get through in just one week. A good game is identifying what they had for lunch via the stains. Good luck to your little one (and you). Mrs TP

Hi Steph Your best bets are the free nurseries Mellors mentions above as you can get the 'proper' free place thing. All the other nurseries are private in one form or another and have slightly different ways of dealing with the gov't free entitlement (which is called 'Nursery Education Grant' or 'NEG'). My experience from Gumboots is that they calculate the full rate for the days you choose and then you get a discount of NEG money depending on how many sessions your child attends. Much as you have to book full days at Gumboots they count a session as a morning or afternoon. We did 3 full days or 6 full sessions and so were eligible for the maximum 5 sessions of 2.5hrs discount. If you only did one day that would be two sessions and so 5hrs free but as the full day there is 9.75hrs you would still have to pay for 4.75hrs. This is quite simplistic and Gumboots calculates it in a slighty diff way, as it has the option to opt out of NEG due to its none profit status but does implement it to a certain degree. I have heard stories of other private nurseries encouraging parents not to reclaim their NEG discount so the nursery itself can keep it and put it towards extra resources for the children. Essentially you need to speak to the diff nurseries to find out there exact policy. Hope this helps. Mrs TP PS Loved Gumboots as most staff are mothers themselves and have masses of experience of every type of child. It can seem daunting to new parents but if you take the time to initiate conversation with the staff they are lovely and very helpful.

Eynesford, Kent about 15 miles from East Dulwich. Google it, v. pretty and great pub opposite the ford for lunch. About a mile away is Lullingstone Roman Villa where you could also pass an hr. Have fun. Mrs TP

I had a door to door cold call from 'Kemi' of AVIVA Health Insurance today trying to flog me insurance by using scare-mongering tactics that swine flu was in the area. Has anyone else had this sales approach used on them and is it legal? Did anyone get a business card from them?

I called into Grass Roots earlier in the week for a take away sandwich. I was the only customer and it still took the two staff (one started to make the sandwich and the other finished it off) over 10 mins to produce it. They got the order wrong and used diff bread to what I asked for (slices rather than baguette). Almost lost the will to live waiting for it and couldn't face complaining and waiting for a fresh order. It wasn't that nice either as they used some sort of long life pesto rather than fresh. They also tried to over-charge me and I had to point out the correct price. Apparently, the guy in the kitchen is related to the previous owners and hasn't learnt from their mistakes of dreadfully poor service. Also noticed the cold drinks fridge wasn't working / switched on.

Yes I saw them too. One of them looked to come down v. quickly - hope it was a happy landing.