Self harm..

[Elliekp]

...Reaons why and what can be done?

Any experiences dealing with this? Either yourself or someone close?

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Ellie, you might get a better response in the Lounge - they can treat serious subjects with respect in there (most of the time).

Some of the reasons a person self-harms is to relieve an intense pressure - whether that's low self-esteem, or perfectionism or a whole raft of causes.

Treatment could be successful through CBT.

[SteveT]

PGC wot's CBT?

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Sorry - Cognitive Behaviour Therapy.

[Keef]

In my opinion, CBT is just a sticking plaster, doesn't really get to the route of a problem, just helps to deal with it. There is definitely a place for it, but I think there is too much of a trend towards it as a cure all at the moment.

Regarding self harm, my ex from when I was younger (18 - 23) was a big cutter of arms and legs. She'd tell me it was a release, a "silent scream" if you will. There was nothing suicidal about it, and it wasn't a "cry for help" as such (there were times when it was, and it got to the point where she'd use it to blackmail me emotionally, but mostly not).

Basically, it was something she felt she had control of, when, in her eyes, everything else was out of her control.

Fortunately, after me, she got a bloke who was a bit more firm with her, and she sorted it out. Looking back, I think I may have been killing her with kindness, and should have taken a firmer stance, but that isn't really me.

[PeckhamRose]

Keef that's a wonderful and useful posting.

Even biting/picking nails is a form of self harm.

The psychology of it all is relatively easy to understand, but trying to break the habit is not.

CBT does have its place for some, the 'right' form of relationship works for others,

and somehow finding it within yourself over time to be stronger and emotionally self sufficient is another.

I have self harmed and sometimes still do, and the power thing explanation makes sense for me.

"Secretary" anyone? This is a brilliantly intelligent film about finding the right sort of relationship for the right people (with or without the connecting problems). (All most people may remember is that it was about Dominant / submissive relationships but in fact it was much more intelligent than that and I could talk anyone through any and every single scene and character motivation in that film!)

She self harmed, He felt guilty about wanting to Dominate, and ALL she needed was someone strong to say "You will never do that again".

[Chick]

Rose,

How wonderfully honest of you. CBT at the Maudsley helped my daughter through a big crisis.

Cheers

Chick

[ClaireinSE22]

Ellie - you don't say what sort of self-harm you mean...cutting is the most common and sadly there seems to be a culture of cutting amongst some groups of adolescents (some even post self-harm photos online)NONETHELESS it should always be taken seriously as the suicide risk of self-harmers is 50-100 times of the general population. You don't say if your query is on your own behalf or on behalf of someone you care about - either way this isn't the place to get advice - please contact the

National Self Harm Network (have website so you can Google) helpline.

[Mick Mac]

PeckhamRose Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Keef that's a wonderful and useful posting.

>

>

> "Secretary" anyone? This is a brilliantly

> intelligent film about finding the right sort of

> relationship for the right people (with or without

> the connecting problems). (All most people may

> remember is that it was about Dominant /

> submissive relationships but in fact it was much

> more intelligent than that and I could talk anyone

> through any and every single scene and character

> motivation in that film!)

> She self harmed, He felt guilty about wanting to

> Dominate, and ALL she needed was someone strong to

> say "You will never do that again".

Secretary is a great film. James Spader character is fantastic. Did he feel guilty?

[Keef]

I think he felt guilty. Not sure I thought it was a great film though, but anyway, we're heading off topic.

[BelowtheBelt]

Or maybe it's just because the person is a plain nuts ??

[BigOne]

Issuing free razor blades and a quick cremation service thereafter ?