How many children would you have...

[Fuschia]

if money and space wasn't an issue.

Have you got the number of children you always desired?

[anna75]

interesting question - money, space, age, limited time and attention for more children, all these aspects will impact it. Il be interested to see what people think.

I always thought the ideal family would be - B, G, G

I do however know someone who had 5 children. The middle ones were triplets and were premature hence she had 5 children under 3 years old at one point!

[sillywoman]

5 or 6. If . . . .

[malcol]

Done at 3. Time, money, space do not feature in my need/wish to stop I just can't bare the idea of being pregnant again!!

[Belle]

None! Just kidding...am hoping we'll be happy with two, if we make it that far (just one at moment).

[Ant]

Wanted 3, got 3, for which I feel very lucky. The thought of any more fills me with horror.

[snowboarder]

I always thought I would have 2 little girls.....I currently have 1 boy!! If I ever recover from his first year maybe he'll get a brother or sister, but no more than 1 I don't think. My husband is one of three and hates it....so it's 2 or 4.....

[malcol]

It's odd this notion that 3 is bad number...middle child syndrome and all that. I am one of two as is my husband and we both wanted more than two as we could see the down side of being just 'one of two'. Personally I think the number of children you have and their future childhood experience is much more to do with the parenting and love that the child/children experience than how many siblings they may or may not have.

[Smiler]

Three would be our ideal (Mr Smiler is a happy middle child and I would have liked more siblings). But have had some problems trying to have our second child and will be very happy if all continues to go well with my current pregnancy and we are able to have our second.

An even bigger factor for me, though, than money/space/fertility issues is the sleep deprivation. I have never, at any point, felt OK or even halfway OK since the birth of our daughter two years ago. Am like a zombie/blob-like marshmallow in brain and body, and sleep is still a problem. Assuming a similar experience with any future kids, two more kids with two years of bad sleeping each could potentially tot up to six years of sleep deprivation. Not to mention over-lapping night wake-ups between them. Don't think we could take it! Fingers crossed for a dream-sleeper this time, then we may reconsider...

Being pregnant with a toddler is also even harder than I thought, especially changing filthy nappies and dealing with vomiting bugs etc. when have nausea - bleugh!

[Polly D]

2, so 1 more. And though space and money very useful, I would need more sleep and energy to have any more than that.

[littleEDfamily]

Oh Smiler - I really do feel for you!! I love the idea of 4 grown up children (2 girls, 2 boys) who all get on famously well and come to visit for my delicious Sunday lunches. So my 'fantasy' would be 4.

The reality is: I had one because I wanted kids (in that sort of vague way you want kids, not knowing quite why) and then we are having a second because I thought she would benefit from a sibling, and once again thought in some vague way that another one was the right thing to do. I am hoping once we have two, I will be blessed with strong feelings to stick at 2, as a 3 child family brings all sorts of new practical requirements I just can't quite cope with. And I am done with giving up beer for months on end; it's frankly no way to live!

[crystal7]

3 (GBG) but OH only wants 2 (we have 1 girl at the mo). Not sure who'll win...

[sillywoman]

Polly D Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> And though space and money very

> useful, I would need more sleep and energy to have

> any more than that.

To my mind limitless money would = more sleep & energy! :))

[The Nappy Lady]

Yes Sillywoman, I'm assuming limitless money would mean plenty of help affordable too, in which case, maybe I'd go with what I said in my 20's and have 6 like my Mum did! Though maybe I'd have stuck at 4 (imagining plenty of time to 'pop to the gym' etc. to reclaim figure whilst nanny entertains the Walton style family!!).

But like Smiler, for me the other big issue is fertility, I just don't want to ever have another miscarriage....and also....having a baby at 40 is very different to having one at 35....I feel tired down to my bones most of the time, and I seriously am not sure I'd be able to do it all again, should have got on with it sooner I guess.....sigh.

So.....two will be it for us.....

Molly

[veryseriousgirl]

I'd love 3 - we have one tiny daughter at the moment and now that she's not quite so new, I'm thinking it would be OK to do the pregnancy and newborn thing again... We may get there, we've got time, so we'll see.

[Keef]

I can't even imagine having 6!

I'd like 2, Mrs Keef, 3 or 4, so we'll have to see.

I absolutely adore my daughter, but not sure I'd say I "enjoy" being a parent, as it's a drag, and maybe I'm selfish. I sometimes think there is something wrong with me, as everyone else seems to think it's absolutely the best thing ever.

That said, I guess it'll get more fun as she gets older, and it becomes more fun... Still though, the thought of having 6!!! :-S

[citizenED]

Before we had kids I had ambivalent feelings about being a dad, whereas Mrs CitEd had always longed to be a mum. Now we have two boys and will stop there. But as they grow older (youngest is 2 and a half)from time to time I certainly get the feeling that having a third would be nice. It's not so much that three is a better sized family than two it's just that I get a tad envious of those with tiny babies!

[The Nappy Lady]

Nature is so clever hey...that's my problem too citizenED, I just loooovvvveeee tiny newborn babies. Keep telling myself they don't stay like that for 5 minutes, and focussing on my mostly cross/frustrated 18 month old....but still......sigh......

[jollybaby]

I've a schoolfriend who's expecting her 6th at 32! She did come from a family of eight children though. I'm exhausted even thinking about it.

[Belle]

that's pretty much how me and my husband feel. It just IS a drag - well a lot of the time - not for everyone I know, I mean there are plenty people who do seem to loooove it all but lord it's hard. I spent the first six months basically telling all my childless friends to stay that way! I think that's the thing - there is a big difference between loving your child, and loving being a parent.

Keef Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

>

> I absolutely adore my daughter, but not sure I'd

> say I "enjoy" being a parent, as it's a drag, and

> maybe I'm selfish. I sometimes think there is

> something wrong with me, as everyone else seems to

> think it's absolutely the best thing ever.

>

> That said, I guess it'll get more fun as she gets

> older, and it becomes more fun... Still though,

> the thought of having 6!!! :-S

[????]

If I'd had my first 10 years earlier instead of at 42 I'd easily have been persuaded to have 4 but I think we'll stop at 3 but in 5 years time you never know!

[chantelle]

like many people, i think two is ideal. we started too late and had problems though so it's probably just the one for us. It doesn't really bother me though. One is a million times better than none if you are set on having kids and initially can't.

My brother has five and that seems fun but nuts too. (and expensive)

Maybe if I had full time help and cooperative fertility, three or four would be nice.

[sillywoman]

Mmmmm, age is definitely an issue. There's no way I'd want to do new baby stuff now in my early forties & with other kids to care for. Just too knackered. There's also the 'time for each' issue as they get bigger. Whilst money would help with that I'm sure, without it I just don't think it fair to spread my self any thinner than I do among the four I've got.

Re; the restrictions of parenthood. I felt the same, but I have to say it has got a lot more fun as they've got older, & I'm loving having teenagers, grumpiness, hormones, smelly feet & all (I'm so going to regret saying that aren't I? The gods will come & bite me on the bum now you'll see). They're so funny and witty, and interesting (and beautiful of course ;-)). For me parenthood does seem to get better as the years roll by.

[Ruth_Baldock]

Initially, I always said I wanted three. My son is 15 weeks old now and I think he may be the last one we have :( Not because it's hard, it is but it's easier to deal with now, but because DH *promised* he would cut back on his insane working hours once the bubs came along, but I find myself being alone with the baby for 18 hours a day, seven days a week (Not even joking here, wish I was!!!!). I don't think I could cope with two or three kids under these 'conditions'.

[Keef]

Bloody hell, that's a 126 hour week! Why in the name of all that is good and holy, would anyone want to work that much!?!?!?

How did he have time to even meet you, let alone actually making babies!

Wow, I am genuinely gobsmacked at that.