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I was almost always disappointed with nannies and au pairs, it seemed as if you were adopting someone's child, rather than getting in somebody to help lighten the load.


I would find a senior-ish citizen probably more useful as they can cook, and generally do not block the sink, the lou, or the washing machine, in other words they have more life skills.


The best Nanny we ever had was in her late thirties when she started, and mid forties when she finished. The youngsters we had were just a trial of one's patience.

It important to remember that aupairs are supposed to be part of your family. They are usually young and can't be expected to do everything or even have had any experience with children.

Often people leave them on their own loads and dont include them in fmaily life and they end up feeling really lonely. When I was a child I had aupairs helping my mother and I loved them. They were fun and had lots of energy and talked to me in all sorts of launguages. But I have also been an aupair in families where I was treated like a servant. Had to go to my room in the evening andwasn't given the same food as them which was really horrible.

Dear missd,


An aupair is not a nanny or a cleaner or a housekeeper. Aupairs are generally students who come to live in your home for approximately 1 year, who are generally here to study English, and in exchange for full board and lodging (they live as part of your family), and pocket money of approximately ?70 per week, they will provide you with 25 hours of childcare and associated light house work.


I have never heard of an aupair turning up at your home at 8 and leaving at six. They generally do five hours per day (ours works from 7 - 9 am and from 3.30 to 6.30), and they are not to be left in charge of children under 2 and a half. They go to language school during the day.


It is reasonable to ask for two evenings per week of babysitting and they must have two full-days off at the weekend.


People who expect the aupair to work longer, take sole charge of little ones, and do the laundry and cleaning for the family, are generally abandoned with no notice quite early on.


An aupair is a great solution when kids are school age and could do with a big sister type of family member, who allows both parents to work full-time and do the school runs. And I agree with bonce, I have heard of families setting aside separate food for the aupair which is not the quality that the family eats themselves, but when that happens, the aupair will not be happy and she may leave.


Having an aupair can be a bit like adopting someone elses teenager - lots of slamming doors, drunken behavior, even stealing from you, BUT, if you do your research properly and interview throughly and are honest about the job you are advertising, you can find someone who will bring great energy and creativity into your children's lives.


I wouldn't waste time with agencies as they are more trouble than they are worth. Aupairworld is a terrific site.

here here Dulwich Mum. They are here to learn, not to be exploited. au pair ?60-?70 a week ( dep on how many hours- mine just 15 hours) plus food and lodgings- no qualifications.

Nanny ?500 a week - qualifications, CRNB check, healthy meals, first aid, knows the area, can drive, networking etc.


If you have ever had a competent nanny phoning you from hospital with your 18 month old having a febrile convulsion who know exactly what to do - you would understand why nannys are nannys and worth every penny you pay them in the early years.

Then again if you look at some au pair sites you will see not all of them are teenagers, some of them are a bit older and depending on your needs you can specifically look for people who are willing / not willing to cook, clean, look after babies or just older children, drive / not drive, work x hours etc. I have no personal experience on the subject yet but I understand there is a standard weekly salary for x hours and x type of work, and what I would do is first speak to the person before I hire them, see what they are looking for and be fair: if I expect them to do more than the standard I would pay them more too. I do agree that whoever comes and whatever they end up doing for you, when you have someone living in your house they become part of your family and should be treated as such, it would be awful otherwise.

Thanks for the clarification everyone - that's exactly the information that I needed - I didn't really know what an au pair does exactly. It's just that we've been offered one through my husband's work (he's been offered a job overseas and will go on ahead to work and sort stuff out. I will remain here with our children for the first few months. Then we'll all go over together). His new office have offered us the au pair and I needed to be able to tell them how much one would cost).


Thanks all

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