SATC ii - a load of old pants but so what

[Moos]

beans on toast would presumably have relegated you to the status of mother of 7 by 8 men, diet of meths and chips and Living Off The State.

Vesta curry I'm finding hard to pin down as the Ladette hadn't been invented by then - perhaps Jackie's way of flushing out the latent lesbian in us all?

Steak Diana (what IS that?) I'm guessing therefore is for the Nice Girl, married mum of 2 in a mock-Tudor mansion, only occasionally beaten by your lovely hubby whom you snaffled by way of having good nails all those years ago.

[legalbeagle]

Dear Jackie

I have a huge nose and my hands are bigger than those of most men I know.

Should I be worried?

[*Bob*]

I don't mind a nose, but if there's no chin, there's just no way.

[Moos]

Dear legalbeagle

I notice that your username has the word 'legal' in it - take it from me, a nice chap won't want a girl who's cleverer than him. Perhaps you should try 'flowerbeagle' instead, or what about 'blossompuppy'?

Don't fret about your 'flaws', focus on your assets. A little shading of bronzer down the nosebone, some blue eyeliner and zinging matching mascara and he'll only be gazing into your beautiful eyes. As for your hands, try lacey gloves or perhaps a corsage to draw attention to your ladylike figure. And above all, a sweet and demure smile will reassure him that you're just the girl to take home to Mother.

Ta ta!

Jackie

[Moos]

*Bob* Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I don't mind a nose, but if there's no chin,

> there's just no way.

What if nose and chin meet in the middle?

[*Bob*]

Does such a woman exist?

How would she eat? I can only imagine by sliding corn on the cob or saveloys etc from the side.. and nibbling them on the way past her mouth.

[legalbeagle]

Dear JackieMoos

Thank you thank you thank you. I have taken on board your advice. I have put a pretty ribbon in my hair, and have spent the day smiling demurely (I have ignored some of my mates who think I am grinning inanely and/or am drunk. They won't get taken home to meet Mother with that attitue.) Couldn't find any lace handwear but I've popped on a pair of luminous yellow fingerless gloves I found from my 80's wardrobe. I'm sure that'll do the trick. Clever shading of extra blusher and a side parting are working wonders on my schnozz too. Phew!

Should I worry about my secret craving for spag bol? Or supress it along with most of my ambition and personality?

Please advise!

[womanofdulwich]

Stop it I am crying with mirth. I never got the bronze shader- maybe if I did I could have a centre parting and keep the hooter ..

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Dear JackieGiggirl

Will my tartan trews clash with my Donny Osmond tank top - I don't want other girls to laugh at me.

yours worriedly

PGC

[giggirl]

Dear PCG,

If your Donny Osmond tank top is purple then you might just be able to pull it off. Otherwise it could be a fully blown fashion disaster. Sorry but it's all looking very serious so I suggest we kick this one upstairs to the Cathy and Claire page.

Px

[Sue]

My friend used to work for Jackie. Must have been in the early/mid seventies?

I seem to remember the staff passed around the Cathy and Claire letters to answer a few each :))

ETA: Was published in Dundee. Home of the Beano......

[womanofdulwich]

I think the chidlrens author Jacquleine Wilson used to work there too. I thought those letters might be made up. But I do remeeber getting a life size poster of David Cassidy in weekly instalments to stick him together.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

It must be true - purple is Donny's favourite colour!

[Sue]

Peckhamgatecrasher Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> It must be true - purple is Donny's favourite

> colour!

xxxxxx

Eh PGC? What must be true? You on the red wine again? :))

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

I'm talking about the veracity of Jackie and in particular Cathy & Claire. If they get one very important point correct (Donny's fave colour) then all the rest must be true and trustworthy.

[katie1997]

enjoyed SATC....what are all the haters on about????? Although I will be putting some hand cream on tonight...SJP your hands looked OLD

[Loz]

Old people with purpose...