Potty Training - should I give up??

[mrsbee]

I've been a lurker on here for a while and hoping that you expert ED parents maybe able to give me some advice.

I have a 2.5 year old who I have been potty traing for the last 3 weeks. He will happily wee/ poo on the potty and as long as I remind him every hour/ hour and a half he is dry all day. However if I don't remind him then he makes no effort to tell me or go on his own and justs soils himself. I've tried stickers, chocolates with no success.

Should I just give up and put him back in nappies and try again in a couple of months time or persevere in the hope that it will just click.

[dan4courtz]

My theory would be...you've put in all this time and effort...it has to click at some point. Do you let him run around with no pants on, because i'm sure that has helped my two feel the sensation more. Good luck and remember, he will not be 18 and not know how to use the toilet by himself...it is a stage so try not to stress :)

[The Nappy Lady]

Hi MrsBee, welcome out from behind that tree ;-)

It is very common for little ones to be so caught up playing that they just don't 'feel' when they need to go. He will get the hang of it, and the odd accident will only help to reinforce that he needs to start to recognise and act upon the urge to use the toilet.

I'd say as long as the accidents are not stressing you or him out then it is fine to carry on.

If it helps, you can get Bright Bots Trainer Pants, which will catch a dribble, but not a full on wee (and come in a selection of lovely bright colours), so if they can't quite get to the loo in time they will help, and they they look like 'normal' pants so quite good I think.

The other option are Motherease Trainer Pants, but these are not quite so attractive I have to say - they will hold a full wee though, whilst not being a nappy.....

Good luck!

Molly

[mrsbee]

I tried going without pants on day one and I don't think my carpet will ever quite recover so not sure I am ready to go without again.

I'll try some trainer pants so at least I don't end up with too many puddles on the floor but he will still be a bit wet and uncomfortable so hopefully that will trigger him to realise when to go.

[redjam]

I know three weeks seems like eternity when you're in the middle of it, but it's really just the blink of an eye in life terms. If your son is already using the loo confidently (albeit when you remind him), I think he's actually doing brilliantly, so it would be a shame to undo your hard work by letting it slide then having to start all over again in a few months. Believe me, some kids hate using a loo at all, in any circumstances, and some kids freak out at the whole concept of poos/wees! So from the sounds of it he's already pretty much halfway there.

My first daughter potty-trained in less than a week, but she's one of those fastidious types who always hated mess, so it was an easy transition for her. My second daughter, however, is a bit of a dreamer who is very easily distracted. So potty-training with her took a good three months, because she would just get absorbed in what she was doing and forget to mention she needed a wee/poo. Three months of coming home with a daily Bag of Shame from the nursery, containing all her soiled clothes! But needless to say, just when I thought I was going to jack it all in, she started being dry every other day, then two out of three days, then five days a week... And before you knew it she was completely dry.

So my advice is: hang in there! You will get there in the end. One other thought: it's much easier to potty-train in the summer, which is another reason for sticking with it now. If you leave it and try again in a few months, you'll be getting into autumn. I started potty-training my second daughter in the autumn, and I have too many unpleasant memories of her clammy wet tights...

[onefifty]

I'd say let it go and try again later. I've got a degree in child development and worked for years running a nursery. I always told parents that if you wait until your child is developmentally ready and didn't push them it would happen quickly and easily. Of course I failed to follow that advice for my own child and earlier this year found myself in the same position as you, similar age too. I thought he was showing readiness but he wasn't. It only worked if I hounded him about going to the potty "to try." Eventually he started to resist more and more and so I backed off. Recently he pulled out a pair of big boy pants from his drawer and wanted to wear them....he hasn't looked back since! I swear we went about a week and he was running off to the potty when his body told him it was time for a wee instead of Mummy :-) He's 3 years plus 2 months now.

[Fuschia]

When they're ready, it's easy, when they're not it's impossible.

DS1 we tried the Summer he was 2 1/2, he just weed and pood on the floor for a few weeks, so we gave up. In the Nov (2y 9m) he did his first wee on the loo at the minders (never used a potty even once) and rather nervously I junked nappies immediately... he was pretty much dry right away and had few accidents.

Twin 2 (girl) has been using the potty for about 4m, since she was not even 2, if she has no nappy on she uses it 100% and only has an accident if we move it, or if she needs to go while in the highchair. Will bite the bullet and take away the nappies, prob next week(aaargh!)

twin 1 (boy) is oblivious though sometimes asks to sit on the loo or the potty.

[prdarling]

I would leave it and go back to it. He just doesn't seem quite ready yet.

I tried to push DS1 into it a few months too early with exactly the same result as you. I put nappies back on him but 4 months or so later when he was 2y 7 months, a friend who was 6 months older came round and did a wee standng up, after that he just wanted to copy his friend, so we managed to ditch the potty as well! When it came to DS2 I left it until 2y 8 months and he cracked it in 24h

Good luck

[taper]

Unless you have to, I wouldn't rush. There's a lot of peer pressure to potty train before children are ready in my view. The longer you leave it, the easier it becomes

[Au'Lait]

Is it so terrible that he needs reminding? He's a two year old boy! He has important stuff to think about!

That's probably how you and I and just about everybody on this forum started our toilet training before the whole waiting till they're 'ready' thing. Till they're ready to go it alone? I don't understand why we need to wait for that, they just need a little help from us and isn't that what we're here for? As long as he's getting in in the loo and not filling up the world with more nappies I think he's grand.