Should we restart potty training? Pee success, poo trauma

[Sanne Panne]

Sorry, I know there's been a lot of discussion about potty training lately...

We started potty training our two year old a week after her birthday. She did very well for 2.5 days: just a couple of pee accidents each day and lots of spontaneous, successful potty visits right from the start. She was quite enthusiastic about it too. The early evening of day 3 she went and accidentally did a poo on the potty (so far she'd done them in her overnight nappy first thing after waking up, like she almost always does). The poo freaked her out so much that she refused to use the potty after. I may have given in too quickly by offering her a nappy for the rest of the afternoon but in any case she doesn't want to go without a nappy anymore whenever I ask her now.

This is over a week ago and she's back in nappies. What do we do? Shall I just tell her we're out of nappies tomorrow morning (or today when it's time for a nappy change) and see what happens (she isn't stupid though and would wonder why she does get a nappy in bed)? Introduce some cute knickers and tell her she can't wear them with a nappy? We did the initial training bare bottomed (no nappy or trousers, just little dresses) with little rewards for each pee.

Thanks for any advice... I ordered some board books about poo and read the "what is poo" thread but am still wondering whether or not to (temporarily? or long term?) upset my daughter by restarting potty training. It would be a shame to postpone it for months because she was doing so well.

[Fuschia]

I think I would probably buy a different potty, some pants, and take the opportunity to take her in the loo with you and let he know you poo in the toilet... and that she she is bigger 9and ready) she will too. Then use the book..

I have heard of lots iof children who can't poo out of a nappy for ages. But this is early days and if you can just get her to try again with the wees...

My 2 yo is going pantless at home (few accidents) and wearing pants and skirts when we go out (mostly she just wees in the pants!)

[The Nappy Lady]

Agree with F, and maybe reassure her that you will put a nappy on her for poos if she wants til she is ready.

Poo phobia is very common, upsetting to all involved but usually overcome quite quickly as long as you keep reassuring and explaining etc.

Molly

X

[Sanne Panne]

Thanks ladies. What would you suggest I do if she gets very upset about not having a nappy on? I know she can do it and am keen on continuing the training and breaking through the fear in a positive way but I don't want to traumatise her... I guess distraction is key.

(Just to clarify: I expect tantrum-style upsetness next time I don't put a nappy on her)

[Fuschia]

Can you sneak it up on her by getting the paddling pool out or giving her a bath or shower then just let her run around after with no nappy on? rather than removing the nappy out of the blue and having a standoff?

[Sanne Panne]

Fuschia Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Can you sneak it up on her by getting the paddling

> pool out or giving her a bath or shower then just

> let her run around after with no nappy on? rather

> than removing the nappy out of the blue and having

> a standoff?

Great idea, it will have to be the paddling pool as bathtime is just before bedtime and she does need a nappy then. Brilliant, hoping for a couple of hours of sunshine tomorrow! A bath in the middle of the day may not be appreciated much but I can try to convince her to have a bath with our newborn...

[damzel]

If you haven't already, you could show her the poo in her nappy before flushing it down the loo "bye bye poo poo". I was doing this with my daughter for a while before we started PT (4 days ago) and she's absolutely fine about the poo, but won't wee in the potty (swings and roundabouts huh!) Good luck x

[Sanne Panne]

Good idea damzel, she does know what it looks like from nappy accidents and from her baby sister but maybe it's better to be even more explicit about it. I've also started telling her that poo is just the food you ate that your tummy is ready with (pasta/broccoli/bread goes in the mouth, gets mixed in the tummy, comes out of the bum as poo). Used the same analogy with drinks and pee, maybe it'll help her get to terms with it. Am just a bit worried that I may strengthen her anxiety by just starting again rather than waiting for her to ask to restart (am not too keen on the latter, she was doing so well, but if I have to wait I obviously will...).

[Sanne Panne]

Well we're without nappies again... she wanted to play with the new nappy during a nappy change so I told her she could but it meant I couldn't put it back on so she'd have to pee on the potty first... and so she did. Great. Big cheers. Right after which she kept repeating "nappy on please" for about half an hour... and she kept holding her crotch through her dress... and then did a pee on the floor and said "I don't want it anymore". Hmmmmm.... I told her nappies are only for in bed now and she's now watching some telly with her hand on her crotch. We'll see what happens!

[millsa]

lots and lots of praise when she does it on the potty, and you can also say that 'look, makka pakka doesnt wear a nappy so he must be doing it in the potty' - sounds ridiculous but I said it once in desperation and it really worked... As you have probably seen from my other posts, it took my boy 5 weeks to start pooing in the potty, he started holdling it in for 2 days because was getting too stressed, so I just put a nappy on just for the poo and eventually, after 5 weeks, he sat on the potty and didnt want a nappy. I believe they just need some time to get used to it, and you need to relax

good luck!!!! x

[Sanne Panne]

She got so upset being without a nappy... so worried and anxious, so terrified, she just pressed her hand or her dress onto her crotch and hardly stopped crying. She seems to feel guilty and afraid of peeing and pooing. I felt so bad for her (and..umm... gave her a nappy, not in the last place because my mum is over from Holland this week and I don't want her to be around a traumatised toddler that one week she's here). I'm tempted to wait another few days (weeks?) and work on the fears first. Or should I just break through it? I don't want to cause any serious anxiety issues. Not sure what causes more anxiety: waiting or just going for it. I'm torn :(

[damzel]

How stressful for you both. I'd go back to nappies - as you say, you don't want to cause anxiety which would be even harder to get over. You've got to ask yourself, what's the rush? Well, that's what I've been asking myself the last few days anyway! She's obviously aware, why don't you wait until she asks again. Let her take the lead. Good luck

[Pickle]

I would go back to nappies for a couple of weeks and try again, no point continuing if it's stressful for both her and you. Day two for us today, and all good - M has asked to use the toilet twice, no accidents at all, so I'm convinced she's ready. Try again after a break and it might all fall into place for her.

P x

[Sanne Panne]

I agree pickle, my M did well for two days and then freaked out because of the poo - if your M is ok with poo I'm sure you're on the right track and won't need to look back! Yippee! I'll wait a bit and introduce books and maybe dvds (and possibly put a flannel in her nappies so she feels wet and enjoys the nappies less) and hope I can convince her.

[Fuschia]

Encourage as much nappy off time as you can manage after shower/bath/playing in garden?

x

[Sanne Panne]

Fuschia Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Encourage as much nappy off time as you can manage

> after shower/bath/playing in garden?

She starts to cry and asks for a nappy the second she gets out of the water (this is since her potty training went wrong - she never had this before the training nor on days 1 and 2 of her training) but I'm going to try to distract her next time. As soon as she feels a pee/poo coming up she gets very upset, holds her crotch and keeps repeating "don't worry about the poo" (even while she has the nappy on). Maybe I'm being overly soft and should stop analysing her too much although her emotions around the topic do seem pretty strong.

[Fuschia]

It does sound like the poo thing hs traumatised her a bit. She will forget in time.

xx