Nursery questions

[Thatiana]

Hi mums,

Iv heard some nurseries (most in this country) dont support children when they need to go toilet , and dont even clean them when they do number too :O

Im absolutely chocked and can see why bugs here seem to be a constant thing :(

Is that true?...my girl is two and half and i am already checking some places out to make sure these things dont happen!

Would love to read your guys experiences

Regards

[vez]

Never heard of such a thing. My daughter's nursery always supports her going to the loo and she is never dirty. Where did you hear this?

Also didn't happen when my son went to nursery (different one).

[Convex]

same here - i don't think thats true at all.

[Thatiana]

My friend is taking her 3and half daughter to a nursery around here and said they apparently treat the kids like that...even things like too many kids in the classroom, some child got slaped by another girl, and the teacher didnt noticed as she wasnt paying attention to her :O

Got really concern about this info, but relieved reading you guys post ...hope not everywhere is like that :(

[Convex]

no, it isn't normal, and your friend should speak to the nursery and find out what they are doing to change things.

i will PM you my nursery as i recommend them, there is a waiting list though.

[midivydale]

Hi Thatiana,

Nurseries vary a lot from country to country and it might well be that some things are very different here in the UK from what you are used to in your home country. This was certainly true when I looked around for nurseries for my son a few years ago, so I can understand how you feel.

I think what your friend means is that nurseries here encourage children to be very independent from a pretty young age so would encourage them to manage as much of the toilet visits etc by themselves. Having said that, I have not known of any nurseries that completely leave the children soiled or do not help them at all if they need help.

Put this down as something to bring up with the nursery when you go and visit and tell them that you want them to support your child using the toilet until he/she can manage by themselves. I am sure the nursery will reassure you that they will.

Class and group sizes...Yes, this is somewhere it often differs from other countries (mine included) and that might take a bit of getting used to. There might be incidents where the staff does not see what has happened or might get the turn of events wrong. Again, speak to them about things, ask them questions and engage with them at pick up and drop off. The closer nursery and home work together the more you can help to ensure that your child is settled there.

In my experience, staff are often very open to discussion with parents and more than happy to explain why things are done a certain way.

Leaving your child to nursery is a very emotional thing, it is really hard especially if it culturally differs from what you are used to. You almost feel blind when making the choice because you do not fully understand how they are run. I understand that completely and my advice would be to voice this when you view a nursery. The right fit for you and your family will be the one where you feel listened to. Good luck and keep posting for advice on here if you need it!

[Thatiana]

Thank you very much for all the advices i confess that i felt so scared when heard all that!

But the best thing to do is to go in person and have a look also ask all these questions too...

Felt more relieved to read you guys words,,,i big thank you--God bless !

Regards

[Passiflora]

I can see your point Thatiana as some nurseries expect children to be potty trained at 2 which is unrealistic even for a 3 year old. It comes down to how many staff are looking after how many children really and what attention they can give each child and what sort of attention they need.

Have you thought about using a nanny or registered childminder?

[mimosa]

I have experience of three nurseries and the staff have always been super supportive of the kids. There's never been any pressure to potty train before they are ready. There is always a member of staff in the room with the kids, making sure they are comfortable and safe. All three nurseries have let the children set the pace ? in consulation with us. When we've tried to toilet train too soon we've had no issues taking a step back. If anything, I've found the nursery approach has been really helpful. The children want to be like their friends: when they see the others going to the toilet independently, and getting stickers, they want to do it too!

[Thatiana]

I hope i will find a great nursery by the time she turns three but honestly if i dont i would go for a nanny...dont want her to have bad experience straight away with nursery and schools...im starting to potty train her now ...so lets see

Thank you again

[Jemmarc]

Hi Thatiana

I would hope that any half decent nurseries wouldn't leave children unclean, I haven't heard of that happening. I have heard often of pressure being put on parents from some nurseries to potty train children quite early, presumably because it saves the nursery the time/effort of changing nappies. On the other hand I know a lot of parents who have been happy to have the nursery help with potty training. There are also nurseries who refuse to take children who are not potty trained and therefore parents rushing to potty train in time over the Summer.

I think the only thing you can do is speak to any nurseries that you are considering and test their reactions when you ask about it. I agree with you that it all seems really unkind - there must be plenty of children who are just not physically ready.

I'm not sure where you are but my son is at Chelwood Nursery which is towards Nunhead/Brockley. It only offers the free 15 hours (morning or afternoon sessions) so not much use for parents who work during the day but it's really an amazing place. They put so much thought into all the children's activities and really take care over settling in etc. When we first visited last Spring my son wasn't potty trained and they said there was no pressure at all, we should do it when he is ready. As it happened he was ready and potty trained by the time he started. But it was a weight of my mind that it didn't matter either way.