3 a.m. Infernal! Why is he waking at 3 every morning and how to nip it in the bud??!

[MrsMc]

Hi all

For the third night in a row, his 9 month old maj has awoken at 3 a.m. I've tried to let him re-settle first (not for v long, but I'll come back to that), he seems happy to see me when i go in but the only way he gets off to sleep again is with a bit of boob. We're currently ferberizing with reasonable success in the evenings - fast asleep in under 20 mins tonight - and I am managing to break the feeding to sleep habit, but the middle of the night is a different matter.

Not sure whether to continue ferberizing techniques in the night as well as evenings - seems a big hardcore to me, or am I missing the point? - and would appreciate your theories on why he's waking up (he used to sleep through pretty reliably). I'm sure I've read somewhere about giving water to wean off night feeds if it's just a habit - but could he be genuinely hungry??

Help!

[bumpy]

So glad you've posted this as I have a similar predicament with my 8 month old - the first few nights we blamed it on his cold and teething as he didn't seem to want food, nor holding, nor being left alone. But neither did he want to be awake as was seriously miserable and not looking to play. Then the last few nights it's been for food reasons as although I breast feed he also takes the bottle so we used the bottle to check it wasn't for comfort. Yesterday he had 16ozs during the day with the nanny, a feed from me at 9am and then 9ozs at bedtime, 8ozs at 11pm and still woke up at 4am for food. It was also his best day for eating solids - HELP, do I just have a boy with a healthy (greedy!) appetite.

Be great to hear what others have to say on this as any words of wisdom would be sooooo appreciated.

[BeccaL]

The first time our slept through at about this age was the night when we forgot to turn the monitor on in her room, so didn't hear her waking up at 3am - I assume that she rolled over and went back to sleep. This was the only thing that made me realise that she actually didn't need the feed I was dragging myself out of bed to give her, so promptly knocked that on the head! Have also heard that water to wean off night feeds is the way - so hope that helps. It really is just a habit!

[bumpy]

Thing is he was sleeping through and when we give him the bottle he sometimes takes up to 8ozs - surely that's hunger not habit! I've never used a monitor at night so it's his rather loud lungs that wakes me...!:-S

[nunheadmum]

Just because he takes it doesn't mean he needs it. He may just like having a tummy full of warm milk to ease him back to sleep. Even if he is hungry, he needs to learn to eat enough during the day so he isn't hungry at night - unless you're happy to keep feeding him.

I'd go with the water instead or even watering down the milk gradually if you feel cold turkey is unfair. With my two, they soon learned it wasn't worth stirring themselves for.

[bumpy]

Fair comment, I'll try the water and see how we go, thanks

[MrsMc]

Will give water a try too - I find it really hard to believe he's hungry after what he puts away in the day!

[linzkg]

Our son got to a similar age, about 7 months old, and also woke only once but also in the early hours of the morning - we even tried doing a dream feed at 11ish before we went to bed to see if that helped him but without fail he still work.

By this age they shouldn't need food through the night (apparently) so we too gave him water instead - that and/or a quick cuddle soon got him out of the habit of wanting milk and he soon stopped waking.

Another thing I did was to give him a bottle of formula at night (I breastfed fully for 1 year) but had heard that formula has more calories or something so babies sleep better - almost over night!

[randomv]

Is he still hungry first thing? If he's still downing milk and breakfast in the morning, after having had a night feed, then he probably is hungry, If not it's something else..

Silly question but is there any chance that a neighbour is regularly coming/going at the same time each night? Maybe a car engine running would wake him? My LO is a ridiculously light sleeper and that sort of think woudl wake him. Failing that, maybe just trying to reassure him with a hand on the chest, soothing sounds etc and not picking him up and feeding him might help? We had a big imnprovement with the pick up put down method at a similar age.

[Saffron]

linzkg Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> had heard that formula has more calories or

> something so babies sleep better

Formula has less calories per mL than breastmilk, but formula takes longer to digest. This may or may not help some babies to sleep longer.

[bumpy]

I didn't have enough expressed milk in the fridge so he had formula at bedtime and going to give formula again at 11pm, here's hoping for a restful night.

Good luck tonight MrsMc

[Saffron]

Good luck all. My LO (8 months) still wakes 3 or 4 times a night. So I'll send you positive vibes at 3AM, when I'm up too! Honestly, I think a lot of the whole 'babies should sleep through by X months' is just marketing. REAL babies are awake A LOT!!

x

[MrsMc]

V belated thanks bumpy - still haven't quite cracked it but after a full night's sleep and some lovely snuggly naps together today I am a new woman!

[ClareC]

I'm in the same boat too :-(

My daughter had been sleeping well but became unwell around a week ago. Whilst unwell she woke through the night and I happily fed her (she was off her food so milk was all she was eating), she is better now, and bacon her food but now wakes wanting milk..... It's a battle of wills tonight!!! She is very angry at being only offered water:-(

Would love to know how to break this cycle, she is nearly 8 months.

[nunheadmum]

How to break the cycle......they grow up a bit. Sorry, probably not what you want to hear but I think so much of these things are to do with development. Perhaps if I was stronger willed I'd leave them to cry more quickly and they'd get over them quicker. But I think unless you are strong enough to do that very quickly after each mini crisis (teething, ill, no lunchtime nap etc) and not allow some leeway incase they're not quite 100% etc, then it does seem like a constant cycle of 2 steps forwards, one step back.

Gradually though they do get bigger and more able to cope with things and leaving them to cry does seem easier - you can see that a 2 year old is being cheeky whereas an 8 month old just looks so dependent on you.

It doesn't help the effects, but if you can accept that it's your decision not to take the absolute hardest line and that it may mean more broken nights but it's how you're happy dealing with your baby, it may make it feel less stressful. And provided you do draw the line somewhere and deal with things when you see it's just habit and not need, things will get better as your LO gets older. We had all the same issues with my first (and we're having them again with my second) and I know we let her twist us round her finger at times but now since about 3, she sleeps great. Just waiting for no 2 to get to that stage too so we can get a decent night's sleep more than 1 night at a time!

[Belle]

ClareC - I had that issue a lot as my son had a lot of ear infections from around 9 months, and wouuld get in the habit of waking at night and getting cuddles/medicine/whatever, so that even when he was recovered his sleep would be disturbed for a few nights after. I would just get gradually tougher as each night passed so that by 3 or 4 nights on I'd just be going in, laying him down and saying 'you're alright' and then going straight out - we always got there in the end. Sympathise as know it's frustrating. We still have this occasionally now.

[bumpy]

Excellent news MrsMc.

Water worked for us in that he went back to sleep, though not until he'd let me know his displeasure at being offered water and about half hour of coaxing. But even after 5 or so nights of not feeding him he was still waking up, add to that that he sometimes wakes before the dream feed, sometimes takes 8ozs plus and others not even an ounce - we're beyond confused!

Guess he's just being a baby and can't complain really as he's generally a happy chappie, doesn't wake to play in the night, wakes only the once in the wee hours of the morning and seems to have a regular wake up time of around 7am.