How soon after birth do you...

[Belle]

It's really hard to know when phrases are offensive to some. A colleague once used the phrase 'a statement of the bleeding obvious', which I'd heard often and thought vaguely was a Monty Python reference (no idea if that's the case!). Anyway another colleague got very upset, said it was offensive and sacriligous and forced the original guy to apologise. Genuinely didn't know some people could find it offensive (still don't really know why), likewise the Irish twins phrase (ditto). Sorry to go off-topic.

[ClareC]

Totally agree with you Belle and Candj

I had never heard the term before but guessed that it meant siblings born of the same mother close together.

It was only when one person took offence that I googled the term as I was perplexed how it was offensive. Even having found the derogatory meaning that had been used historically, I do still think this term (and thousands of others commonly used) are only offensive if used in an offensive manner.

Problem with an online forum is it's the written word rather than spoken so it is how the reader interprets the written word rather than how the writer means it.

yep, this is going off thread rather..... back on thread, 4 days...... No way!!!

[monniemae]

I didn't interpret the word as offensively meant, I get the context, I didn't think Candj was directing it deliberately at anyone, nor was I offended by it. I just wanted to point out it's a derogatory term, so you could perhaps not persist in using it or introduce anyone else to it as a valid term. You know, so someone wouldn't actually be offended in real life, because it probably would be better to say something else instead - so why anyone would insist on your right to use it is beyond me.

Lots of terms are offensive whether said with malice or affection. Talking about Irish twins is fricking rude whether you meant it rudely or not. It really is simple. It makes no difference whether you mean something to offend, or whether you say it in jest, or whether you say it affectionately, or whether you heard your friend who IS that word use it about themselves, or whatever. If the term is (in this case CLEARLY) rooted in ignorance and derision, it is just unnecessary to use it. Pretty easy to say "gosh, now you mention it, yeah" and then use something else instead in future. You know, like "oh same-year siblings".

It blows my mind that people would rather defend their right to use terms in ignorance, and now in full knowledge of their roots, rather than say thanks for pointing it out. It's the same logic that has words like Gippo, Paki and more still hanging around, still offending people, still invoking cries of "but it wasn't meant like that..." while people defend their right to offend. Crying "pc gone mad" is ridiculous - it's politeness, good manners, to show willing to talk about people in terms that don't belittle them.

[Lochie]

Back on topic- I had a friend at work who's sister had a baby in hospital. The next day her husband was told off by the midwife for trying to get into the hospital bed with her for some 'special' time!!! So that beats the 4 day shocker!

Each to their own I guess but honestly I couldn't fathom it for many months and luckily my OH is very understanding

[taper]

I'd never heard of the term Irish Twins. It clearly has derogatory roots. But the term seems to have passed into common and non-offensive useage to the extent it has become the name of a website offering support to people with children born within a year, also a book and a film. So not at all like gippo and paki, which remain offensive.

[Family Room Moderator]

Please stay on topic - which is discussing how soon after birth you *ahem* had special cuddles.

FRM