Jump to content

Recommended Posts

I've got wind of a 'renaming not remaining' department being set up by No.10


The brief is to rename everyday items and foods we enjoy, with a new 'non-EU' title. The idea is that there will come a time (much like decimalisation) where 'we' will soon forget the old, and the younger generations will adopt the New British version of a much loved item.


Sainsbury's have been running a trial already, I saw it last week. Potatoes Gratin advertised on the shelf label, showed "Potato and Cheese Bake" on the new packaging. Terminally dull and horribly off putting.


The facts and details are being kept secret thus far, but I'm going to hazard a guess and imagine some of my own. Feel free to add to the list.


Penne pasta bolognese, is to become 'Carbohydrate Tubes with minced beef & tomatoes'


Coq au Vin moves to 'Cock in Wine'


And I hear Parliament are to lobby France to return 'Le Weekend' back to us, in exchange for 'cul-de-sac'

In all it's fairly depressing and makes me despise Teressa 'Vinegar Tits' May even more.



C'Est la vie!

Half our language is of French origin, we're gonna have to go back to grunting*



Eau de Cologne - Bplash It All Over


French Doors - Cor Blimeys


Premier Inn - Lenny's Doss House


Deuce - Even Stevens


Brunette - Mousey Brown


Fianc? - Bird


Entente Cordiale - We Won The War So F*ck Off



*This can already be witnessed and learnt by striking up a conversation with a Black Cab driver...

Hopefully this will mean an end to the ridiculous teaching of the metric system in schools. Who cares if it makes far more sense and that most of the world uses it. We managed an empire and single handedly won two world wars with the imperial system. Roll back decimalisation too

LauraHW Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Hopefully this will mean an end to the ridiculous

> teaching of the metric system in schools. Who

> cares if it makes far more sense and that most of

> the world uses it. We managed an empire and single

> handedly won two world wars with the imperial

> system. Roll back decimalisation too


Three penny bit will be back sharpish


I'll make it so :)

The real reason the ridiculously pretentious "courgettes" have disappeared from our shelves this January is now revealed: we can at last have our marrows back (at least when they have had time to demonstrate their British worth and grown to a proper size this coming October). Recipes on request ...

LauraHW Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Hopefully this will mean an end to the ridiculous

> teaching of the metric system in schools. Who

> cares if it makes far more sense and that most of

> the world uses it. We managed an empire and single

> handedly won two world wars with the imperial

> system. Roll back decimalisation too


Exactly. I wrote to the BBC praising Planet Earth 2. Attenborough knew what he was doing by giving very cold temperatures in degrees Farenheit. It may not make any sense but it is a good British unit, and the American's love it too.


And what's all this business about using base ten. What's wrong with good old fashioned 12, or 16. It's all a European conspiracy.

Removing the word 'French' from many familiar things is making me review my previous levels of excitement.


Letters


Bread


Kissing


Man


They all seem so dull and ordinary without the F bit in front. God honestly, the future looks bleak.


And the thought of not being able to elope with the Au Pair , that'll kill some

Seabag Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Removing the word 'French' from many familiar

> things is making me review my previous levels of

> excitement.

>

> Letters

>

> Bread

>

> Kissing

>

> Man

>

> They all seem so dull and ordinary without the F

> bit in front. God honestly, the future looks

> bleak.

>

> And the thought of not being able to elope with

> the Au Pair , that'll kill some


Oh I don't know Seabag


We can go back to


French Letters replaced by johnnies


French bread replaced by long crusty roll


French kissing by snogging


French man by frog


As for the au pair , obviously you can now snog the nanny before taking her upstairs for a roll with your johnnie on in the frog position


What's not romantic about that ?

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • Hi - I posted a request for some help with a stuck door and possible leaky roof. I had responses from Lukasz at Look_as.com and Pawel at Sublime Builders. I don't see any/many reviews - has anyone used either person?  Could use a recommendation rather then just being contact by the tradespeople... Many Thanks 
    • I'm a bit worried by your sudden involvement on this Forum.  The former Prince Andrew is now Andrew Mountbatten Windsor Mountbatten in an anglicisation of Von Battenburg adopted by that branch of our Royal Family in 1917 due to anti-German sentiment. Another anglicisation could be simply Battenburg as in the checker board cake.  So I surmise that your are Andrew Battenburg, aka Andrew Mountbatten Windsor and that you have infiltrated social media so that the country can put the emphasis on Mandelson ather than yourself.  Bit of a failure. I don't expect an answer from police custody.  
    • We had John fit our PLYKEA kitchen (IKEA cabinets with custom doors) and would happily recommend him and Gabi to anyone. Gabi handled all communication and was brilliant throughout — responsive and happy to answer questions however detailed. John is meticulous, cares about the small details, and was a pleasure to have in the house. The carpentry required for the custom doors was done to a high standard, and he even refinished the plumbing under the sink to sit better with the new cabinets — a small touch that made a real difference. They were happy to return and tie up a few things that couldn't be finished in the time, which we appreciated. No hesitations recommending them.
    • Not sure about that. Rockets seems to have (rightly in my view) identified two key motivating elements in Mcash's defection: anger at his previous (arguably shabby) treatment and a (linked) desire to trash the Labour party, nationally and locally. The defection, timed for maximum damage, combined with the invective and moral exhibitionism of his statement counts as rather more than a "hissy fit".  I would add a third motivation of political ambition: it's not inconceivable that he has his eye on the Dulwich & West Norwood seat which is predicted to go Green.  James Barber was indulging in typical LibDem sleight of hand, claiming that Blair introduced austerity to *councils* before the coalition. This is a kind of sixth form debating point. From 1997-1999 Labour broadly stuck to Tory spending totals, meaning there was limited growth in departmental spending, including local govt grants. However local government funding rose substantially in the Noughties, especially in education and social care. It is a matter of record that real-terms local authority spending increased in the Blair / Brown years overall. So he's manifestly wrong (or only right if the focus is on 1997-1999, which would be a bizarre focus and one he didn't include in his claim) but he wasn't claiming Blair introduced austerity more widely. 
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...