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#Brexit Cleansing: What's on the menu.

Seabag

By Seabag
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Seabag

Seabag

Posted
Posted

I've got wind of a 'renaming not remaining' department being set up by No.10


The brief is to rename everyday items and foods we enjoy, with a new 'non-EU' title. The idea is that there will come a time (much like decimalisation) where 'we' will soon forget the old, and the younger generations will adopt the New British version of a much loved item.


Sainsbury's have been running a trial already, I saw it last week. Potatoes Gratin advertised on the shelf label, showed "Potato and Cheese Bake" on the new packaging. Terminally dull and horribly off putting.


The facts and details are being kept secret thus far, but I'm going to hazard a guess and imagine some of my own. Feel free to add to the list.


Penne pasta bolognese, is to become 'Carbohydrate Tubes with minced beef & tomatoes'


Coq au Vin moves to 'Cock in Wine'


And I hear Parliament are to lobby France to return 'Le Weekend' back to us, in exchange for 'cul-de-sac'

In all it's fairly depressing and makes me despise Teressa 'Vinegar Tits' May even more.



C'Est la vie!

red devil

red devil

Posted
Posted

Half our language is of French origin, we're gonna have to go back to grunting*



Eau de Cologne - Bplash It All Over


French Doors - Cor Blimeys


Premier Inn - Lenny's Doss House


Deuce - Even Stevens


Brunette - Mousey Brown


Fianc? - Bird


Entente Cordiale - We Won The War So F*ck Off



*This can already be witnessed and learnt by striking up a conversation with a Black Cab driver...

LauraHW

LauraHW

Posted
Posted
Hopefully this will mean an end to the ridiculous teaching of the metric system in schools. Who cares if it makes far more sense and that most of the world uses it. We managed an empire and single handedly won two world wars with the imperial system. Roll back decimalisation too
JohnL

JohnL

Posted
Posted

LauraHW Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Hopefully this will mean an end to the ridiculous

> teaching of the metric system in schools. Who

> cares if it makes far more sense and that most of

> the world uses it. We managed an empire and single

> handedly won two world wars with the imperial

> system. Roll back decimalisation too


Three penny bit will be back sharpish


I'll make it so :)

jaywalker

jaywalker

Posted
Posted
The real reason the ridiculously pretentious "courgettes" have disappeared from our shelves this January is now revealed: we can at last have our marrows back (at least when they have had time to demonstrate their British worth and grown to a proper size this coming October). Recipes on request ...
malumbu

malumbu

Posted
Posted

LauraHW Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Hopefully this will mean an end to the ridiculous

> teaching of the metric system in schools. Who

> cares if it makes far more sense and that most of

> the world uses it. We managed an empire and single

> handedly won two world wars with the imperial

> system. Roll back decimalisation too


Exactly. I wrote to the BBC praising Planet Earth 2. Attenborough knew what he was doing by giving very cold temperatures in degrees Farenheit. It may not make any sense but it is a good British unit, and the American's love it too.


And what's all this business about using base ten. What's wrong with good old fashioned 12, or 16. It's all a European conspiracy.

Seabag

Seabag

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Removing the word 'French' from many familiar things is making me review my previous levels of excitement.


Letters


Bread


Kissing


Man


They all seem so dull and ordinary without the F bit in front. God honestly, the future looks bleak.


And the thought of not being able to elope with the Au Pair , that'll kill some

TheArtfulDogger

TheArtfulDogger

Posted
Posted

Seabag Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Removing the word 'French' from many familiar

> things is making me review my previous levels of

> excitement.

>

> Letters

>

> Bread

>

> Kissing

>

> Man

>

> They all seem so dull and ordinary without the F

> bit in front. God honestly, the future looks

> bleak.

>

> And the thought of not being able to elope with

> the Au Pair , that'll kill some


Oh I don't know Seabag


We can go back to


French Letters replaced by johnnies


French bread replaced by long crusty roll


French kissing by snogging


French man by frog


As for the au pair , obviously you can now snog the nanny before taking her upstairs for a roll with your johnnie on in the frog position


What's not romantic about that ?

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