peckham soft play - a bad experience or normal?

[Saila]

i've just been to peckham soft play, with my 10 month old for the first time.

the staff were really helpful and polite which was a great start and he absolutely loved crawling around inthe ball section.

but then... a young girl probably 4yrs old? threw a ball at my son. He laughed and it looked like she was just mucking around, so i just carried on watching. Then she lifted up a large mushroom thing and tried to throw it at him really hard. I went over, grabbed him and asked why she was doing that and she said, 'cos i want to hurt it.'

I calmly said, 'why do you want to hurt him, he's just a little baby and doesn't want to hurt you?'

she just looked at me and said 'i promise i will hurt it' and then picked up another object which was larger than him in size and moved over to him to smother him with it... so we went to another section ...but she followed... so we left

am i being over protective here. i've not had to deal with this sort of thing before - i feel quite upset about it. I guess this is something you just get used to... :( and is part of upbringing. Seems quite harsh tho!

[Claire29]

Oh my god thats terrible! If ever anything like that happens you should always tell the parent or carer because it's one thing kids throwing the balls around in there, which can be a bit annoying but doesn't generally hurt that much if hit by one but to be picking up the bigger items to squash your little boy, thats awful. If you don't get any reaction or response from the parent/carer you should speak to the guy who works there and normally stands by the door in there (I haven't been for a while, he used to stand there and keep an eye on kids. Also if another kid does something dangerous like that make sure you tell them that in a firm voice, so they understand it's wrong.

Dont be put off going there because of one bad experience, I used to go there a lot and my little un loved it. I always found the best session's which weren't as manic with big kids were the first one which starts at 9.30.

[snss75]

I used to take my son to soft play all the time (now he's in reception) and most of the time it was great and the kids behaved well. Unfortunately, on occasion, have come across with similar problems where a child is behaving really badly or even dangerously and either not listening to his/her parents/carers or more often the parents/carers not paying any attention to the child. Personally I have no problem "telling off" (firmly telling them to stop, don't mean having a go or shouting at them) someone else's child if the parent/carer is not there or doesn't seem to care, especially if it seems that other children may get hurt etc. Trust me, I tell mine off plenty... If something like that ever happens again I'd firmly tell the child to stop and also speak to the parent/carer and if that doesn't help talk to the staff. The staff there are generally very nice & helpful but also pretty strict about following the rules. I do not see why you should be the one to leave simply because your baby is being harassed by a mean older child! Stuff like this REALLY annoys me, I'd never allow my child to behave that way! If I had told my child 2 times to stop it and he didn't, we'd be the ones out the door! Agree with Claire29, the 9.30 session is generally very good and you don't get that many "big" children. Don't give up!

[berryberry]

I go soft play and no matter where you go there are obnoxious kids with oblivious parents. The parents want to be oblivious and go gossip when their children are being little monsters, so I just tell them off now. More often than not the children then behave and strangely start trying to play with us. It is sad because it seems they are being monsters for some and any attention they can get when their parents should just play with them in the first place.

[Fuschia]

My first child is sometimes quite badly behaved in places like that... not being mean to babies but gettig invokved in scuffles with other 6/7 year olds (blame testosterone)

I would prefer the other parent to tell me, and tell him off if I am not nearby.

I would agree, say something to the child, the staff, possibly the parent. Some parents will appreciate it, but some will have a go at you!!

[Gussy]

I went the day before yesterday and have been a fair few times, and only once has there been an unruly kiddy there. It's not the place that's the problem (although softplays can get kids a bit overexcited and some mums think they can just sit down and not keep eyes because of the nature of the place), but as others have said, this kind of thing can happen anywhere ie playground, playgroup etc. It does sound particularly nasty what happened to you - I've not experienced that level of persistence before in a little one. I would just ask them to stop and then if that didn't work, find their parents and politely ask them.

I would avoid going during the 3-4pm or 4-5pm slots as large groups of school kids can pile in and really whip things up. I left early yesterday for this reason as my two are only very little, and as nice as some of the staff are in there, there's a few that don't do much and turn a blind eye.

[berryberry]

I, personally, do not go to the playground or soft play and expect to spend my time looking for some badly behaved child whose parent who should be watching them in the first place. I go to have quality time with my own child and teach my child how to interact with others appropriately. I think it is poor show to expect other people to pick up your slack. I think that goes for the times I've stopped some kid trying to stamp on my child's head, 6 year olds kicking and punching toddlers, picking up kids who fall off climbing frames that are not age appropriate. I find this is not all the time but uncomfortably frequently and it pisses me off that it tends to be that the parents are off having their own social hour at the other end of wherever whilst other parents keep the stray children safe whilst trying to mind their own children. Not good.

[kristymac1]

I couldn't agree more berryberry!

[littleEDfamily]

These sorts of places are my idea of hell on earth. I can't bear the noise and every time I have been, there has been an abnormally badly behaved child that winds me right up - soft play seems to bring out the worst in even nice children. But, the OPs experience I think is unusual - I think young children do silly things without thinking, but for a child to tell an adult stranger that she deliberately wants to hurt their baby is pretty disturbing. Where was the parent/ carer while this was going on?

[pommie]

i would have said something to the parent or someone who runs the place. This is totally unacceptable and someone should be told. I would have thought that if this child carried on like this then they would be asked to leave

[ClareC]

This kid sounds more than badly behaved.... Sounds like she had serious issues and needs help! Did you report the incident? Must have been really upsetting, hope your ok.

[Saila]

hello,

i'm very relieved by all these posts. Clearly this really was a one off and not something people 'get used to'. I was a bit shocked and perhaps if it wasn't my first time there, i'd have had the courage to go up and say soemthing.

I did ask her where her mother was but she just looked at me blankly. I also looked around at all the mums/carers expecting to catch someone's eye but no one was watching (which was when i moved sections). People must have been aware what was going on as no one was talking except us and the whole session was fairly quiet with few people there.

It does make you ask yourself, what's been said to her to make her say those things to someone else?

anyway - next time i'll be better at dealing with the situation. i was just so stunned and upset... and weirdly a little embarrassed?

i should have looked for carer and/or said something to the soft play person.

[Sally81]

ClareC I'm glad you said that! I was thinking that what the child said sounds a bit disturbing to me and goes beyond being badly behaved. I would definitely report anything like that next time. Hope you're ok anyway Saila.

[Kes]

Oh that's horrible, I'd add as others have said, that normally it's fine, just the occasional rough older kid but nothing deliberatly vicious like that. I think I'd be tempted to at least tell the staff about it. I've no experience of kids that age but it does sound like the child has issues, and yes veru annoying when you want to spend time with your own kid and end up looking after other peoples!!