How do you do manage bedtime with two kids in one room?

[littleEDfamily]

After Christmas, we are planning to transfer Sprog 2 (6 months) into the same room as Sprog 1 (just turning 4).

I already struggle to manage both at bedtime, which I do on my own every night during the week. Have just about got the hang of bathing together and then dressing the little one first, then big one, then trying to stop the little one crying during storytime. I finally leave the older one to fall asleep while I feed the little on in our room, where she now sleeps (eventually).

So, what's the best way to manage this shared room/ same bedtime thing? Can it work?

[womanofdulwich]

you are dressing one that is nearly 4??? Mine were a similar age gap,and I actually had a few stories downstairs while I fed, then put little one down first, read a bit more with older one downstairs- they really feel they are missing out on attention and like a bit of undivided attention, then make them go very quietly to bed.Without disturbing younger one - this only lasted till youngest was 18 months though............

I think it really depends on how they are- but the older one feels like second fiddle so have to find some special time.

[ryedalema]

Ugh - we have the same problem with a nearly one year old and a 3.5 year old. Littlest moved into her sister's room at about 3 months and luckily is quite a good sleeper. So we can put her down at 6ish and she's in a deep sleep by the time her sister goes down - and eldest gets read a story if she behaves and isn't noisy. All eldest's pyjama dressing is done in another room.

It doesn't always work though and is a nightmare if one of them wakes the other up and I'm usually the one bedhopping. Last night for instance I slept in the bunk bed while eldest slept in 'our' bed.

The bad bit for us I think is when one of them is sick - it usually ends up being a lesson/negotiation in mitigating cross contamination. So if OH and eldest have a cold etc they sleep together and endless combos after that.

I sometimes think we should do away with all beds and had a foam floor for one of the rooms (plus loads of blankets), then we can all bundle in together.

[marscapone]

http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?29,551519,551621#msg-551621

[Gubodge]

Mine were closer in age (2 years apart), but when they moved in together we would read to the little one, then I'd feed her to sleep while reading to the older one over her head. #2 could then be put into bed and #1 would get a cuddle and another book before she went to sleep. Thinking about it, that was the routine before they were sharing a room, too, just I got to do it all snuggling in our double bed rather than perched on the edge of the single. Even now they're 6 and 4 I still love to do the pre-bed routine in our room rather than theirs.

[littleEDfamily]

Thanks all - some good ideas for me to play with. (WOD - Yep, the nearly 4 year old is perfectly capable of dressing and undressing self and usually does, but I have to admit ofte at bedtime, I am so focussed on getting through the routine at speed so that over-tired baby doesn't start squaking, I do do most of it (don't most people still dry off their pre-schoolers, though? I love cuddling them when all squeaky clean in a towel).

Did you all find the other one could be trusted not to 'mess with' their younger sibling (eg not put small objects into their cot they can choke on, crawling in with them and standing on their head as they do so etc etc)? I have these nightmares about what might go on while I think they're sleeping (and I am sleeping)....

[womanofdulwich]

i think you have seen the exorcist too many times. No aabsolutely not.Once they are older and can destroy the older ones toys things night get more complicated in teh day time,but of course they do not do things like that- as long as you make a point of saying things like " ooh wemust just check thereis nothing around bubs could choke on etc". of course welove to cuddle them and dry them, but if it is difficult you could encourage them to lay their clothes on the radiator andput them on themselves after the bath.:)

[Gubodge]

My elder could be trusted not to do anything dangerous, but I wouldn't have seen a problem if she had decided to climb in to the cot with her sister. However I did babysit a friend's 1 and 3 year old and popped up to check on them to find the baby's cot piled high with every cuddly toy they owned. Fortunately her head was at the other end, in the small remaining toy free space.

But as long as you set a few ground rules for your older one, I'd really expect a four year old not to do anything like that. But you know him/her best.

[Belle]

I can understand why you'd be worried - it's the sort of thing you do think about - am sure Gina Ford has some scary anecdote about finding a toddler at the top of some stairs clutching their baby sibling, but it's reassuring to hear from others that this isn't the reality necessarily.

[EmilyE]

We've never had any issue with them sharing - in fact, I think they are each reassured by the other.

I do bath all together, dress baby and help with other dressing as necessary and then snuggle up - feed baby (usually to sleep) while reading to the other (well, now others). There is mostly a bit of baby crying in there when someone has failed to put on their pjs, but it doesn't take long. Good luck. Bedtimes can feel like a bit of an ordeal when it's always you...

[littleEDfamily]

EmilyE - you sound like you have it sussed. I am one of those people who gets totally derailed by any crying, shieking, general kid noise, so I think I panic when routines don't go to plan! Our elder daughter is OBSESSED with her sister. Mostly she's wonderful and quite helpful, but that does spill over into exuberance and boisterousness. I think I could trust her not to do anything deliberately horrible, but her desire to 'help' might lead us all into difficulty. For instance after overhearing her dad suggest baby was ready for 'real food', I caught her trying to feed her sister cornflakes.

It does sound like I just need to bite the bullet and get on with it, but I am at the end of my tether by the end of the day and I am terrified just when I think some respite is nigh, the two of them will be getting up to shenanigans.

[EmilyE]

Yes, I know that one - when our nearly 6 month old grabbed dad's apple to suck on it - I said 'oh look, that's his first bit of real food' 3 year old replies 'no, it's not, I gave him some of my cake yesterday'...

Older sister (5) assures me it was a tiny, tiny crumb, but still...

I don't think our bedtime is perfect - I quite often hate the post-bath, pre-book bit, but as I tell myself most days, that bit really only lasts a few minutes and the only other way seems to involve splitting the children up, quite a lot of tv and it taking forever. I really don't have the patience for bath and bed 2 or 3 times over.