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My lovely mum is turning 80 this year and has requested 'no presents' - she is in the fortunate position of being quite well-off, in good health, well-travelled etc, so she doesn't really want for anything and doesn't want us to spend any money.


However I want to give her SOMETHING - something sentimental or imaginative perhaps. For my parents' golden wedding a few years ago I made them a collage based around an old wedding photo and including things that were important to them and all the places they had lived round the world, which went down really well. So something along those lines perhaps? I had a go at writing 80 happy memories of her but it felt like I was just writing all about me and my childhood, which sort of missed the point. I feel like there must be a good idea out there that would bring her joy but gets round the 'don't spend anything' rule. But I can't quite put my finger on it.


Anyone got any good ideas??? I've got a couple of months to come up with something.

Hi redjam my dad recently turned 80 and sounds similar to your mum- he doesn't want/need anything material. I asked my two children, who he adores, to write him a poem and draw him a picture each. I then got the pics professionally framed (not cheap so it felt like I was actually spending something on him!). Once framed it looked great and he shed a tear when he unwrapped the gift. It's now hanging in his kitchen and my dad loves it. Not sure if that kind of idea would work for your mum?

Lochie, that is a fab idea, I love it. Thank you! She is very sentimental, especially when it comes to her grandchildren, so that sounds right up her street.


Jules-and-Boo, we are already having a big birthday lunch for the family (which is what she wanted) so we've got that covered. She's the kind of person who would hate a surprise party so nothing doing on that score, unfortunately.


Any other thoughts? Otherwise I think I will nick Lochie's idea...

When my mum had her 80th birthday, I booked for us both to go on a day trip on the Orient Express. She had no idea beforehand and thought that we were just passing through Victoria and her face was a picture when she saw the train. It was expensive, but I was surprised that I thought it was actually worth every penny. The food and service were wonderful, and we had an escorted trip around Cambridge. The trip lasted about 12 hours, and almost all of the other people on the train seemed to be fairly ordinary people celebrating a special event. Ten years on, and my Mum still talks about it.


I had thought about getting pictures or drawings framed, but it never feels quite right to give pictures of grandchildren etc to parents, as they feel obliged to have them on display when they really might not want to!

When my dad was 75 we made a poster for him entitled


What we learned from Bob


With lots of phrases from everyone in the family (eg its's important to tell the truth, how to sail a dinghy, use really hot water for washing up, how to light a fire), put together in different fonts and colours and then had it printed and framed as a large poster. He loved it. It was easy to put together and it was fun to work out who had said what and also how important he was to the family in all sorts of ways - some quite surprising. My mum was quite jealous and very pleased when she got hers a few months later.


They now have pride of place as companion "works of art" in their house. And do actually look pretty good.

Gosh, you lot are amazing, what nice people you are! Some brilliant thoughts here. The play idea is fantastic, really original (we're quite a small family so I don't think it would work for us but what a lovely idea - I got a bit teary myself when I read that!). And I love the poster one too - I'm going to have that one up my sleeve for my dad's 80th as that would be right up his street. The embroidered cushion is also really sweet, though my artistic child only likes drawing pictures of dying cats (don't ask) so not sure that would be appropriate for us. But I'm finding this all very inspiring. An idea is starting to crystalise around doing something along the lines of a 'This Is Your Life'-style book with photos/memories from family members, incorporating Lochie's poem idea... I will think on. But thanks so much for these thoughts - there are some lucky parents out there!

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