Things that annoy the North about the South

[Ridgley]

To pick up from ???? what things annoying the north about the south for all you northerners that live in ED

[Scribe]

I think you should change your OP to 'what makes northerners so jealous of southerners'.

I'll get you started.

The majority of northerners have an iron lung, whereas in the south, respiratory health is much better.

Northerners get confused by the many Gods they whorship, whereas in the south they only have one.

The north of England still suffers from the occassional outbreak of bubonic plague, whereas down south you only get the odd spot of hayfever.

A northerner's IQ rarely rises above room temperature, whereas we're hella smart down he'ah!

Northern healthcare is limited to the county vet, whereas down south we have hospitals funded by the taxpayer.

It's gloomy all year round in the land of the savages, whereas down south you can fry an egg on your toilet seat during the height of summer.

[Ridgley]

Haha :))

[Annette Curtain]

>Things that annoy the North about the South ?

The Colour divide ?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/75/London_north_south_boundary_com.png/800px-London_north_south_boundary_com.png

Nette.:-S

[RosieH]

Fucking trolling cunts. That's what annoys me.

Oh, also, that when southerners say cunts, it sounds retarded. Whereas when northerners say it, it sounds good and proper. Anglo Saxon vowels are where it's at.

[Scribe]

I'm sorry, RosieH, but I don't speak barbarian. What is "@#$%&", and why are peasants (supposedly) so superior in pronouncing this so-far unknown word?

[RosieH]

Scribe, you're such a fucking ing?nu.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Mrs Gaskell anybody?

[RosieH]

Ooh yes PGC. Spot on.

[Scribe]

Ah, now I get it. You're talking about the vulgar, working-class verb for boffing. And please, allow me to assure you that I'm no 'stock character'. I'm a living, breathing person. But worry not, RosieH. You're sure to find plenty of 'characters' in the network of subterranean dwellings of the north of England. I've even heard that Ena Sharples' ghost can be heard roaming (and moaning) the passages that are home to so many below the Pennines.

[Keef]

Oh, also, that when southerners say @#$%&, it sounds retarded. Whereas when northerners say it, it sounds good and proper. Anglo Saxon vowels are where it's at.

Assuing you mean cunt (beginning with a c), I used to have a girlfriend from North Yorks, and she said that us southerners said it much better, because we could sort of spit the word out, with a lot of c.

[RosieH]

You cahnt Keef.

Nope.

If there's any spitting, it's a guttural U and a rock hard C and T. And that, my friend, is northern.

[Scribe]

Really? Because in my experience there doesn't seem to be much difference in the way that northerners and southerners pronounce charity. But yes, I can see why you may think otherise, insofar as northeners are more familiar with that word than us well-fed s**********.

[????]

w*nker and C*nt are owned by the south, b*stard is northern through and through

[ruffers]

All the United fans.

[Scribe]

The original noun - that's frequently been altered over time - for the offensive term that references the female vagina was actually brought to our shores by the Romans. In fact, the classical writer Tacitus briefly mentions an occasion in the annals of his Bello Britannia, when General Plautius addressed king Verica, husband of the client queen, Cartimandua of the Brigantes, whilst he was stalling when questioned over the whereabouts of the rebel king Caratacus.

Historians can't tell us exactly what was said between the irritated Roman officer and the Briganteen king, due to the original text being lost, but the academic consensus is that the exchange went along the lines of 'Verica, are you tryin' to take me for a c_nt? Because if you are, then my torture detachment's gonna come in 'ere an' cut your f_ckin' jacobs orf, my son!' Tacitus then wrote that Plautius stormed-off in frustration, but could quite clearly be heard bellowing "c_nts" as he walked towards his camp.

So there you have it.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Plautius should have asked the fascinating witches who put the scintilating stiches in the britches of the boys who put the powder on the noses on the faces of the ladies of the harem of the court of King Caractacus, who had just passed by.

[Keef]

brought to our shores by the Romans

Who came to the south first >:D<

[Ridgley]

Only because they could not control, the rebellious north Keef.

[Brendan]

So they started with Essex instead?

Makes sense.

[????]

Kent actually.....*insert your own jokes ----------------here*

[Brendan]

I didn?t realise Colchester was in Kent. You learn something new every day.

The Romans attacked the city with elephants.

You are no longer allowed to attack the local population of Colchester with elephants. This is a good example of political correctness gone mad in the modern world.

[????]

They landed at Pevensey or somewhere down there and subdued the Kentish tribes firs...nowhere near Colchester

[Brendan]

So did I but the Romans set up their first administrative town at Colchester.

[????]

So rather than "started" with Essex you meant "Set up their first adminstrative town in Essex"