First day at nursery - not a happy day!!

[paps]

Feel terrible as settling sessions at Nursery went well, but today was baby paps first day and he was very unhappy all day cried lots and didn't eat - I feel terrible and he was so very upset :((

Any advice from anyone as to dos and donts etc.

Baby Paps going to nursery one day a week partly due to Baby Paps 2 coming along in May and partly due to us wanting him to get used to an environment away from home/family as I work three days a week but my Mum and other half have covered those days since returning to work in September.

Thanks

[craigy]

you don't say how old baby paps is as this makes a huge difference..

[paps]

opps sorry he is 14 months

[sillywoman]

Personally, I think he's too young. Only do nursery at this young age if you don't have any other choice. Childminder would be better. Am sure others will be along shortly to offer a different perspective though.

[Ko]

poor you and poor bubs. i have been told by a friend that her little one latched on to her 'favourite' nursery nurse and loved it after a couple of weeks. did he show any signs of having any favourite carers during his settling in?

all the new faces (carers plus children) may take a little while to get used to. does baby have a favourite soft toy he could take with him? its a difficult situation, i feel for you xxx

in the (unlikely?) event of him not settling, a childminder could be a good option as suggested above.

[minder]

He is still very young - can't your Mum and other half carry on until May and then have both your children at home until you go back to work?

There's no need at 16 months for him to get used to an environment away from home if you are at home?

[paps]

After reading your posts feel even worse now for sending him :(

[ClareC]

Hi Paps,

Don't feel bad, you can only do what you think is right, ultimately, there is no crystal ball! Also, what is ultimately good won't necessarily feel like it at the time! I can't help with suggestions as I've no experience in this but am in a similiar position to you and have been agonising over the nursery dilemma. I think ultimately it's an individual thing! Those with children at nursery are pro nursery, those who use minder's are pro minder's etc. One common area is that it's always hard at first and settling in takes a fcouple of weeks! Good luck x

[ClareC]

Couldn't put everything I wanted to as typing on phone!! For me personally I'm not comfortable with the childminder option and the nursery idea was never about childcare as such and more to do with the other benefits. Each child is different, don't feel bad and if it doesn't work out as being as you hoped your in the great position of being able to stop baby Paps going without worrying about alternative childcare! My only practical suggestion is would two half days be practical instead of 1 day? Nursery days are very long and I was advised to avoid one day a week.

[Moi23]

Hi Paps, I'd like to second everything ClareC said. Don't feel bad, it's so hard to know how things are going to turn out. If you are happy with the nursery and they are kind and loving, there is no reason to think that it's a bad option. If he settles and is happy he will get a lot from it. But, I totally agree about avoiding one day a week. I did this with my little one and we had terrible difficutly. Two or even 3 morning or afternoons are a way better option. That way they get used to it, there is an element of routine. Also, remember that it's his first day, give it a chance. And if it doesn't work out, you're in an ideal position with maternity looming up and mum to help out. Good luck!

[annaloo9]

Just hang n there and he will be alright - give him and yourself time to adjust to the new routine.

The last thing you should feel is guilty. think of all the positives - he will be made comfy, meet new people, start his learning journey with external people and come home to you at the end of the day tired, but happy. Good luck.

[Ko]

don't feel bad, you are doing a wonderful job being a good mummy to him and being pregnant with no 2! it will take some time but you will get there and hopefully people will post with more helpful tips. what did the nursery suggest as they will have seen this before with other children? xxx

[samstopit]

I put my son in nursery one day a week when he was just under 2 and he never settled. I can see now in hindsight that I should have spread it over a few mornings a week to give him a better chance to settle in. Just doing one day a week seems not to work, they have got used to being with you again and don't get to feel at home at nursery. In the end I took him out and waited until he was a bit older, then started him doing more days when he was 3.

I hope you can find a way to make it work.

S x

[????]

I think you have to give it more than one day

[jills]

Hi Paps, I also agree with what ClareC and others since have said. Don't forget the reasons you have already carefully weighed up and based your decison upon. There are many benefits to think about, and the only way to know if this will work for you is to try it.

Just to share our experience - we're a month in. My little one started 3 days/week at 17 months. The first day is heart-wrenching, there's no way around it. But it got better every day. The nursery staff were full of cuddles. I also asked them if there was a time in the morning that was quieter (i.e. other children already there and settled) and I chose this time to drop him off.

I'd agree with what others have said re one day per week being difficult. I still find that day 1 (of his 3 day week) is always harder than days 2 and 3. Where on day 1 he may turn back to look at me, on days 2 and 3 he's running into the room without a glance back at poor old mum.

Hang in there!

[paps]

Thanks for some of your positive posts :)

We have added on a Tuesday morning so will see how it goes.

[samstopit]

good luck I hope that helps x

[Moi23]

Good luck! I'm sure it will make a difference.