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A star indeed!


The Toad likes the 'numbers game'. Sniff sniff.... ?5 / ?35, its a revenue spinner! Of course, the oldest sales trick in the book!


YES, you are divs in, but so is M&S. I guess that M&S get a tax relief on returns... does any one know?


The Toad


ps. Remember, if something sounds too good to be true, its because........

The offer is ongoing with Oxfam, and has been for some time. Today's spin was just that you could drop off the clothes in-store, rather than having to locate your nearest Oxfam shop.


Incidentally, the store which manages to fill the most boxes with clothes gets ?300 sports and social money to spend on parties and whores.


Well, mainly just the parties.

Just to go off topic for a moment - I am correct in thinking that it's still OUR M&S, amn't I?


Well I wish someone would explain that to the security guard in the Brixton branch.


I was taking a couple of ready meals (braised steak and mash and a fish thing of some description, since you ask) out of the store without troubling the till jockeys. I hailed the minion and with a cheery wink, explained that the Honaloochie excequer was low on funds, but assured him I'd see our shop alright come payday or when my postal order arrived.

I continued on my way only to be brought up short when the underling grabbed my arm. MY ARM! The right one if you please.


Well the coxy blackguard had the effrontery to inform me that this was not acceptable to him, and proceeded to make a 'show' of me in front of assorted gawkers and lollygaggers.

I explained my position firmly but politely to the burly jobsworth, but he refused to acknowledge my right of ownership of our shop and snatched the viands from my hands, bellowing that I was barred from our store and that if I attempted to enter it again he would inform the authorities.


Not wishing to get involved in an unseemly brouhaha with a servant I left the store.

But not before giving him the assurance that I would be putting the matter in the hands of my people and that I would make it my life's work to ruin him - "I am not without influence I'll have you know, and I will see to it that you never guard securely in this town again" was my parting shot.


He tried to brazen it out with a scornful laugh but I could see the fear in his eyes. Oh, yes.

And with that I left our shop vowing never to return until my name had been cleared.


Anyway I consulted with my legal representative and he informed me that what I was doing was tecnically 'shoplifting' or theft.

I dismissed him on the spot. What use is a barrister if he doesn't tell you what you want to hear?


I have since instructed a more flexible and open minded legal firm to sue our shop for defamation, false imprisonment, assault and anything else they can think of.

When our shop's share value plummets we have only ourselves to blame.

Shocking treatment at the hands of those oafs old chap, interesting account but ... one small detail has been omitted, what kind of fish thing was it? Cod and parsley in white sauce?


I think your error was not picking up a couple of bottles of choice port to wash it all down with.

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