Toddler and baby routines

[snowboarder]

Sorry family roomers - the inevitable next chapter in the snowboarder house following the arrival of new baby last month.

So with a nearly 2 yr old toddler who still naps from 1-3, how do you go about getting baby into any kind of feeding routine? I need routines, I need to know and plan stuff in advance, AND toddler is not alway cooperative about baby being fed, so it helps to be prepared!! Currently am completely winging it and basically cluster feeding poor old newbie first thing in the morning and over nap time to allow for toddler activities in the morning and after nap. It all goes wrong by toddler supper time as both are hungry and cross...cue screaming baby throughout toddler tea, bath and bed time, then long bedtime feed for baby. Ugh. I used to feed my first around every 3 hrs so basically 7/10/1/4/7 - but the 10am and 4pm slots are right bang in 'out with toddler' time. And I would certainly struggle to feed when out with toddler - eg at park - he would run away! I know I sound really uptight about it but I'm finding it super hard to organise 2 - especially from around 5pm which is just agony (not helped by major witching hour crying atm from baby - I know this will improve but GAH really).

Umm - any words of wisdom - what did you do? I really don't find feeding on the move especially easy - both in terms of keeping control of toddler and just generally.

[Pickle]

I remember feeling just like you do now, nearly 3 years ago. The logistics of feeding one while looking after another is one of those motherhood juggling acts!

My baby used to feed at approximately the same times. For the 10am and 4ish ones I would make sure I was either at a park with a friend who could keep an eye on my son while I fed, or (my preferred solution) I would go to a playgroup where I found it far less stressful. Other Mums were always very helpful when they realised I had two small children, sometimes I would even get handed a much appreciated cup of tea which was lovely (that was at the Goose Green playgroup on Thurs mornings).

Within a few months we'd adjusted the feeding schedule to 7/10/12ish... followed by nap, then I would get her up about 30 minutes before her brother was due to wake from his nap and feed before heading out for the afternoon. I then fed her while supervising toddler's tea time.

And just as you get all that sorted it's time to wean and you're back to square one... ;-)

[Moos]

Rely on kind friends to have you and SB1 over for afternoon playdates and tea, so you can sit and chat and feed SB2 at least once a week during the witching hour while someone else is responsible for stuffing food into the older one. Major lifesaver in the early months (*sends out silent thanks... you know who you are*)

My older one doesn't nap any more, but I'd guess it would be a good idea to try to get them into having at least one nap at the same time so you can have a break.

Best of luck! I still haven't got it figured out either. Supper time always seems to involve grizzling chez Moos.

[JessB]

I am having similar issues with a 2 year old and 7 week old. Only difference is my toddler doesn't let me leave baby crying but insists I feed him (and helpfully instructs me each time that the milk goes in his mouth.......not his eye.......because he saw me putting milk in baby's gunky eye once) .

I just keep telling myself it's a phase and I'm sure it will change for better or worse very quickly. I also try to see good friends at groups or houses so feeding is that bit easier.

Good luck!

Edited to add that I also end up cluster feeding whenever suits me and toddler best which is difficult and I would love a better "routine " but I'm sure one will emerge, it'll just be different second time round.

[Mellors]

I always made sure my morning activities were somewhere completely contained where toddler could run about without me needing to keep that close an eye out whilst I fed - either playgroups, friends houses, Crystal Palace 1 o clock club, soft play. I also had a childminder a couple of mornings a week after a while, so I could escape to Baby Cinema - bliss!

Afternoons were more tricky as it was Autumn/Winter and rubbish weather - again friends houses, small soft play (Beckenham/Peckham - not Gambado), or, frankly, TV at home.

It does get better when baby gets quicker at feeding and feeds less frequently.

Remind me why I am doing this again?!

[Gussy]

SB I struggled with this for a long time too. I'm afraid I had to just go with baby and 'muddle through' but it was VERY HARD. Running between the 2 feeding, changing, sleeping.....they were on the same feeding times at one point so I was spoon feeding a toddler whilst breastfeeding baby with nipple shields and milk going all over the place - very stressful!!! All I can say is hang in there and let time go for a while, ie just muddle through until baby is a bit older I think. I know its not the answer but honestly by about 5/6 months I could push baby into the toddlers routine because we established much more set feeding/sleeping times. I found that by trying to push the baby to stay awake 'a bit longer' it would result in him being overtired and his naps went haywire. I'm with you on the routine thing, I think its vital when you have 2 little uns close together in age and especially when you are doing it alone with no outside help. But I really couldn't get one to work until he was older. It's a crazy frantic time with lots of crying, but I promise it will get better.

For groups I would feed baby around 10am just before we left when he was really young as like you there was no way I could feed and not keep toddler contained (ie in the same room at home). Then we went out, baby slept in sling, race back home feed toddler lunch and baby at the same time so that he would sleep closer to toddlers time. As baby got older, toddler was a bit better behaved and I could bfeed while we were out which took the stress out of feeding before we left or immediately on return....

I also couldn't bath them both on my own for many months. I had to wait really until baby could sit up in the bath and he stopped cluster feeding so that hubby could help when he came back from work. What I'm saying is forget about all the things you are supposed to do - regular baths (I know but a good face and bum wash is just as good), I used a lot of TV and toys at feed times, all the no nos, but you have to get through it. It's a bit like a marathon, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Gradually as you get better at managing two, your toddler gets used to waiting a bit longer for mummy and so does baby, it will slot into place. Even with my youngest at 1 year now he still doesn't match my toddlers routine exactly, but its pretty close so that works for us for the moment. HTH x

[Moos]

Pickle Wrote:

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> And just as you get all that sorted it's time to

> wean and you're back to square one... ;-)

OMFG, so true. Twosling just starting on solids, and trying to get breakfast into both of them was a hilarious cockup this am... eeek!