Asking for a friend...

[Muzza]

Where does a painfully shy 17 year old boy go to meet girls in these parts? He belongs to a cycling club, but that is very male dominated and the few girls there tend to prefer the more socially able males.

[Angelina]

While it's not a direct answer, perhaps you could help build his confidence in the first instance.

Could he get a job in a bar/ caf? and get used to working with / talking to the public?

Or volunteering in a charity shop for the same purpose (Oxfam in HH are looking for volunteers).

Confidence plays a big part - as does self belief. And it may help to remember that exposure to uncomfortable situations (e.g. talking to new people, presenting to an audience) can make things easier over time.

Being introverted is nothing that needs changing.

And don't look at each conversation with a girl as overly important - if it's loaded with intention of getting a girlfriend, girls will pick up on this and likely run a mile - this is a challenge for many young people.

Also, many people are nervous when they meet someone - it's about learning to deal with that and going ahead anyway.

[Pugwash]

Is he politically minded? Joining a local party may help.

[Seabag]

I met some one recently who due to the nature of their job, has to move every few years somewhere new.

She started a supper club in Yorkshire through https://www.meetup.com/apps/?_cookie-check=gdnqjxaXlrx-CKbb and then moved to Cornwall and did the same.

There are lots of things on there for people to join in with and do.

And remember, most of us we're awkward teens once, it'll pass and he'll progress.

[MrsR]

He could try the Horniman Museum Youth Panel for 14-18 year olds.

[KidKruger]

Unfortunately, it's a bit like sports, the more you practice the better you get and if you don't put the practice in you don't improve and when starting-out there will be many mishaps and disappointments. A rite of passage that we've all endured. When a teenager I was shite at 'girls', my first girlfriend was when I was 22 and she was an amazing lass who more than made up for years of self-doubt, etc. By then I'd just concentrated on my own stuff (athletics and martial arts) and become known naturally in the community. Through that I knew many people and everything happened off the back of that. We put pressure on ourselves for certain things to happen, looking around at peers at what they're up to, it's tough - but it always works out fine. We can't and won't all develop at the same pace.

[fatcats]

Muzza Wrote:

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> Where does a painfully shy 17 year old boy go to

> meet girls in these parts? He belongs to a cycling

> club, but that is very male dominated and the few

> girls there tend to prefer the more socially able

> males.

Also not a direct answer to your question, but can I recommend joining a Toastmasters club as it will help you in all kinds of ways, not just the goal you have listed above. It's a great place to meet people also, although most will be older than you unless you can find a Toastmaster Young Adults club to join. It really is a wonderful concept and institution and as a fellow introvert I wish I had found it at your age. You can attend a group for free, as a guest, as many times as you like before committing to any kind of membership.

[alice]

Before he can ?meet girls? he needs to make friends his own age.

If he already has then hang out with them

The rest comes later

[peckham_ryu]

Has he done NCS? Open to 15-17 year olds, and probably still some Autumn places for this year. Youth programme credited with building confidence, and meeting other young people from different backgrounds.

[siousxiesue]

How about Meet-up.com?

I bang on about it occasionally but it really does cover any range of activities, there are groups aimed at shy/socially awkward people and the hosts make an effort if you're new, to make you feel welcomed and not left standing alone.

[natty01295]

Gain friends then gain girlfriends